To ask how you cope with 2 (or more)under 5's?

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I have a just turned 4 year old and a 16 month old and I feel they are running circles around me.
Currently every dining chair and bench I have , all bar stalls etc. have had to be lifted on to the tables/sides as 1 year old is constantly climbing onto worktops and table , I have had to lock the door to the room with their toys because I just can't keep up with the mess they are making and older child has toys with small pieces and won't keep them out of reach of 1 year old , they are constantly (every second of the day) asking for snacks and smearing food and crumbs everywhere, I feel like I can never get my head up long enough from the chaos to take a breath and that results in long frustrating days of me verging on tears or clenching my jaw to try prevent myself from shouting in anger/frustration.

If you have 2 or more of a similar age how do your days look/feel ? Do you have quite a strict routine? I have so much guilt that I'm not enjoying them a lot of the time

Mine are grown up now - but what helped was:

Routine. Breakfast at the same time every morning, at the table. Not negotiable. We all sat together.

Then outside. Anything outside, regardless of the weather. Some 'outside' had a focus (i.e. getting to toddler group etc - again, they knew the routine of what happened on which day). Other 'outside' was to the shops/to play/poke around with sticks in puddles. Outside included a snack and drink.

Lunch. At the table. Not negotiable. If we were out with friends, then obviously a sandwich or whatever. But sitting together was not negotiable. No getting up and running around and smearing food around etc.

Quiet time - stories and sometimes a video (we didn't have a TV and this was pre-phones/ipads etc).

Filling in the time somehow until tea, bath, stories, teeth, bed (again, not negotiable). This could feel very long.

Toys with small bits were played with sitting at the table so younger ones couldn't swallow said bits.

It sounds very boring when written like that, but everyone knew where they were and everyone was ok with it. The one thing I never did was tidy up - the house was a complete tip. But it still is now, so I can't blame the DC.

I was largely doing it alone as husband was mostly at work.

Split the day up or I feel like I'm going stur crazy. In the morning whilst toddler is having breakfast ill get baby dressed and put the washing up from the night before away and put a load of washing in the machine. We get out in the morning 3x a week to a soft play or play group or a walk or visiting grandparents. 2x mornings a week my toddler goes to nursery so in that time I'll do shopping, catch up with housework or try arrange a coffee with a friend, baby comes along but is no problem. Then the afternoon baby and toddler both nap 2 hours, I either nap with them or catch up with house work or prep dinner for later on. After nap time we all sit in my toddlers room for about an hour, baby gets tummy time/rolling time/play mat time and my toddler enjoy reading lots of books and playing 'shelf games' (games that he only plays with me or we would lose all the pieces) we put a fan heater on too to heat just his room up whilst we're in there as it works out much cheaper than putting the central heating on. Then i feed baby, pop Peter rabbit on (toddler is obsessed and is the only thing I can put on TV without the remote beeing thrown back at me haha) baby naps or sits in bouncer whilst I get on with dinner and toddler goes between watching snipits of Peter rabbit and playing with his shopping trolley or cars ( we have an open plan living room-kitchen which works so well!) Then partner is home, dinner, bath, books then bed time. Hoover comes out in-between the chaos where needed, washing up only gets done once a day in the evening.