AIBU to ask how much is the real cost of divorce?

[RosieProbert]

Posting for traffic really!
In terms of actual money, not emotional cost or the suchlike, how much did divorce cost you in the end?
I just honestly don't think I can financially survive it. I think he'd try to wangle his way out of everything and I'm scared of angering him.
Please could you just tell me the actual numbers

Thank you! X.

£30k to buy out his share in the house

I should add I have 2 kids (12 &9 ) and a dog. Leaving the dog is not an option and I need to factor him in regarding a walker etc.

That's what I'm scared of. I don't want this house but I think he'd try to do me out of it. It ls worth around 350k with about 100k left on the mortgage

I divorced in 2021 . Cost me and a x a total of £1400 inc vat in total . We made huge effort to do it amicably which keeps costs to minimim
we used solicitors only for bits we could not do ourselves
Go to the ADVICE NOW web site link at top of divorce talk board page. Download them r guides which tell you to dactyl how to do your divorce as cheaply as you can . the more you argue, resent each other, don’t compromise the more it will cost you . Every hour of solicitors time will cost £200 +. So every question you ask that is ou could find out for yourself will cost you £3.50 per minute of solicitor time they are thinking about response and then responding . Do as much as of work you can yourselves

Thank you
He won't agree to it, so I know it will cost me. That why I don't think I can afford it. He will try his best to kill me off

Leaving the dog is an option, it’s just not one you want to take.

Based on this information you’d be entitled to £125k as a starting point, possibly more depending on how much you have the kids and any pensions/savings.

❤️

Thank you! I think I need to speak to someone xx

You used to be able to get a free taster session with a lawyer.

Could you manage without pension sharing in order to get more /all of the house? which could help at least short term and mean you could keep the dog.

Divorce govt fee is £593 at the moment. The forms are straightforward so you don't need a lawyer for them. It benefits him as well as you to agree between you with the least use of lawyers

£150 x 2 for two financial mediation appointments

£600 fixed fee for my solicitor for my divorce (respondent)

£120 for solicitors advice appointment

plus moving fees

Mine was a few years ago but it only cost me half of the £500(ish) fee.

He bought me out of the house and we had no other shared assets and no kids, so very simple and probably not the norm really.

So far £500 and something to file then £500 on removals.

Still need to pay for consent order but it's arranged in principle. Amicable after ling marriage. I've come out better than exh financially because in the interim (have been very slow to actually file) I met someone else in similar situation and have been able to buy a house, have a new life etc whereas he (he instigated the split) is finding it harder financially but he's very fair and still pays maintenance for adult dd with sn.

It depends on how far you go in the court process and how much you are prepared to do yourself.

In my case the divorce and financial settlement in 2012 coat very little because we agreed a settlement between us and had it agreed consent (not actually fair because he manipulated the value of final salary pensions). I ended up with joint lives spousal maintenance as he was a high earner and not enough assets for clean break.

Fast forward five years and he took me back to court to try to get rid of the maintenance. Total farce as no grounds and never actually stated his case. It was same three hearing process again. I managed to keep it down to £22k as I did most of the legwork myself, using solicitor only for advice and direct access barrister for final hearings. Ended up with very good clean break settlement from pension funds. Not what I was entitled to but freedom is priceless!

My partner's divorce cost £100k in legal fees because ex-wife's refusal to negotiate and unreasonable expectations.

So as you can see it depends on how determined one party is to go to the 'wire'.
Also I found the judgement to be firm but fair so not to be afraid of. It's based on needs of each party, not necessarily the 50/50 that is touted as the rules on here.