AIBU to find this behaviour irritating?

[Jinglebellsloth]

I have some hearing loss in one ear. I’ve been and had it all checked out and they’ve said it’s not bad enough to need hearing aids atm. I lip read a lot and find it far easier to hear when someone is in the room. People in masks is really hard for me and I have to ask people to repeat themselves etc.

The one person who doesn’t seem to respect this is my mother. She will almost always talk to me when I am not in the room and then she gets irritated with me when I ask her to repeat herself as it’s just muffled noise. This is despite me reminding her about the hearing loss and giving her an impression of how things sound to me when not in the room.

I don’t think she really believes me as I’ll sometimes get comments like ‘oh, you really must have hearing loss if you need the tv on that loud’ etc.

How would you handle this?

First of all start using sub titles on the telly. That way you don’t need the volume up & avoid disturbing anyone. It’s also a visual signal to Mum that you do indeed have hearing loss.
Secondly go get a hearing test somewhere else. If your last test was NHS bang on the door for a review as soon as they will let you have it. Keep at your GP for this.
Third, look up the websites for Hard of Hearing help . For example you can buy badges that say “Hard of hearing. Please speak clearly.” Perhaps if you wear one of those to your Mums she will start believing you.
From time to time when you are not in the same space as your Mum, don’t even ask her to repeat. Ignore it until she says “did you hear me?” She will soon learn not to speak to you unless you’re within lip reading distance.
Im an NHS bilateral hearing aid user. I won’t spend £ on private aids because my aids are digital & work well.
I have been where you are at now. It can be isolating so keep banging the drum for some help.
You too can be an ambassador for the deaf!

Thank you!

Don't buy a badge. Your mother is a piece of work. Ignore her.

Rule of thumb: if you need to wear a badge to stop someone being an arsehole, wearing a badge will not stop them being an arsehole.

Unilaterally deaf my entire life, partial deafness in other ear.

Even my teen kids who have literally known me their whole life get an exasperated, “why are you whispering that in my deaf ear?” lecture. 🙄 My husband finds subtitles “distracting” 🙄

Stand up for yourself every time. “Nope, if you want me to hear that, you’ll need to speak up mum.”

Yanbu
Towards the end of his life, my dad was very deaf. My mum, tho, would still speak to him when he was in another room and wonder why she had to shout.