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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to feel so low about continuous toddler illness? Feel like it will never end.

28 replies

Drcoxisafox · 10/12/2022 17:49

DS is nearly three. He got Covid at the beginning of the year and had fever and mild stomach upset with it. Since then it’s felt like it’s been one thing or another, always some kind of respiratory infection/throat or ear infection. He also gets a cough with everything.

he started nursery in March and it was literally every other week. I’m self employed and have had to give up most of my contracts because I was taking so much time off I just couldn’t keep up.

he’s been given two inhalers and montelukast for suspected asthma - apparently there’s a cough type of asthma. This seemed to help a bit so he wasn’t coughing as frequently and we had a good run of about two months where he wasn’t ill as such although he was coughing on and off. Then he got
tonsilitis and two weeks later this awful virus that’s been doing the rounds - cough got worse to the point where I didn’t sleep for five days and doctor prescribed five days of oral steroids. These seem to have made a big difference at night he coughs when he goes to bed and wakes up but not as much during but it’s still not completely gone.

it seems to be caused by mucus - he swallows it back instead of spitting it out. Its
making me think it’s not actually asthma. As well as being tired I’m worried about what it could be. It seems abnormal to be coughing like this so much!

OP posts:
Original poster
Drcoxisafox · 10/12/2022 17:50

Posted too soon. We’ve been referred to a respiratory team but apparently that can take 6-8 months

I feel so low and like I all I talk about is poor DS’s cough it feels never ending. And I feel so sorry for him that he’s having to deal with it.

OP posts:
Fleurdaisy · 10/12/2022 18:00

Try this —- worked for DD years ago.
Run a bath, get the bathroom as steamy as possible. If you can pull a shower curtain round the bath, while still being able to watch dc of course, that will help.
Get dc out of bath, dry quickly as possible then rub Vick’s vapour rub or similar on chest and back while skin is still warm. Pjs, wrap in blanket. Then give a child’s cough medicine in a warm drink. From memory we used blackcurrant juice.
We found all 4 things together — steamy bath, Vick’s, cough med in warm drink really helped. ( usual disclaimer, I’m not a medic, had just been a very sleep deprived mum)

Original poster
Drcoxisafox · 10/12/2022 18:02

Thank you. Did you find any cough medicine worked particularly well? I’m so tired and everything seems very bleak now but I think it’s because I’m so tired

OP posts:
Original poster
Drcoxisafox · 10/12/2022 18:20

I’m trying the steamy bath tonight. We have a humidifier, and I’ve been using saline drops and nose spray but doesn’t seem to do
nuch. He’s just always full of snot and/or mucus

OP posts:
Bunnycat101 · 10/12/2022 18:26

It is horrible. I always know come October the lurgy will start and carry on until March. I’ve got one that is quite prone to respiratory issues and the calpol menthol plug ins seem to settle her so may be worth a try. I found last winter my chances of having a decent stint of sleep was much higher the nights we used the plug ins. I’ve bulk bought them on Amazon this year in anticipation. if you can try and elevate his head up a bit that might help as well.

so far though… an extra year (youngest is nearly 4) seems to have made winter a little easier. Last year I was on my knees so there is hope it might get a bit better.

stickydoughnuts · 10/12/2022 18:30

YANBU have had 4 solid weeks of all children having one illness running into another and it’s bloody draining! Plus DH and I pick them up too so we are not at our best dealing with exhausted and sick children

Frostysnowlady · 10/12/2022 18:37

Totally with you. No specific advice re ashtma I'm afraid. Have a 1 year old and 2 year old. Coughing, green snot, disturbed sleeping, fatigue as getting only about 3 hrs a night. I also have this virus as does DH 1. Feel like rubbish. 1 Yr old has suspected conjunctivitis and rash on cheek and groin that freaked me out (strep a in news getting to me) but is probably teething. Its freezing, heating costs a bomb. Just bleak. I didn't have health anxiety before motherhood but with the amount of sickness and medications you need to give you can drive yourself mad with worry about it all..

hopskijump · 10/12/2022 18:44

Sympathy OP.

My dd was exactly the same, all I can say is it does get better.
Do whatever you can to get more sleep at the moment.

My dd has started to cope better with the sleep disturbance as she's got older.

Try keeping him cool, being hotter can exacerbate the asthma

Original poster
Drcoxisafox · 10/12/2022 19:03

Thank you so much. It actually helps a lot to know others have been here or are here, even though I wouldn’t wish it on anyone.

I think it’s the fact it’s always a cough as well, I hear it now and my heart just plummets.

he copes with it surprisingly well but I think as I get more tired and run down I just worry more and more about it.

I’ve done the steamy bath, vicks on back and chest, calpol plug in done, he’s had saline nose drops to try and dry up the constant stream of snot so fingers crossed it will make some kind of difference.

nobody tells you about this side of parenting!

OP posts:
Itsfridaynightok · 10/12/2022 19:28

2 and a half year old here and he constantly has a cough Sad we are lucky to have a week without coughing. It's exhausting. I don't remember this with DC1 so I think it may be to do with the lockdowns and lack of an immune system!

Arsewangry · 10/12/2022 20:24

My 4yo ds started in reception in September and we have had a nightmare the past month with back to back non stop coughs colds and he woke this morning with hand foot and mouth - I could cry!

Original poster
Drcoxisafox · 10/12/2022 20:24

@Itsfridaynightok i think you must be right. We just had a whole hour and a half of no coughing when he went to bed but he woke up coughing, I realised he had done a dirty nappy which is unusual for him at night and then he was kind of crying and seemed really warm so now I’m trying to find the thermometer with a really sinking feeling

OP posts:
Weefreetiffany · 10/12/2022 20:42

Hey OP has he had a blood test to check vitamin levels? Vitamin d, magnesium, zinc and iron should be looked at as if they’re not optimum His recovery will take longer than it should. Also could there be mould or allergens making things worse?

Original poster
Drcoxisafox · 10/12/2022 20:55

Hey thanks for your post @Weefreetiffany he has low iron, we know that from a blood test he had a year or so ago (I have no idea how he’s the bounciest least lethargic child I know!). He might be deficient in vitamin D as I struggle to get it in him although I do try and I’ve been giving him an elderberry, zinc and vitamin c supplement recently.

we have a lot of dust in the house recently which isn’t helping (had work done) and tonight I discovered some black spots around the window frame in my room (due to condensation on the windows I think) so I’m going to have a good look around the house tomorrow, and clean around all the window frames etc to make sure there isn’t any more.

OP posts:
theydontspeakforus · 10/12/2022 20:57

We've had covid, scarlet fever, hand foot and mouth, chickenpox and impetigo with our 3 year old this year.

It's not been fantastic!!! All from preschool.

Frostysnowlady · 10/12/2022 21:30

@Drcoxisafox urgh we get so many black spots on our windows and external walls since we moved in 3 years ago. Last week we bit the bullet and stained blocked walls re painted and invested in a Dehumidifier. We live by the sea which means we get a lot of damp. It probably isn't a large contributing factor but I too was worried enough about it to take action although one wall in front room still needs some attention. It's just finding the time!!

Frostysnowlady · 10/12/2022 21:32

@theydontspeakforus wow my dh wants our 2 year old to start in Feb but hearing stories like this put me right off!! I suppose it's now or later though right?!

CatSeany · 10/12/2022 21:42

I can really empathise with you. My son has suspected asthma and cough is his main symptom. We had montelukast and a steroid inhaler. He started nursery just before he turned 1 and it felt like he was always unwell until he was about 2 and a quarter. We saw a lot of improvement in the warmer months of this year and stopped his inhalers and montelukast. Sadly he's gotten worse again this winter so we've re-started the inhaler, but I'm hoping that next year we can be off everything. There's definitely light at the end of the tunnel, although it feels relentless.

Original poster
Drcoxisafox · 10/12/2022 22:29

@Frostysnowlady it’s so frustrating I need to use a humidifier for DS so doubly frustrating
@CatSeany so sorry you’re having this too did you find the inhalers got rid of the cough completely as it never has with us

OP posts:
giftswap2021 · 10/12/2022 22:38

I find Vicks slathered on their feet and then socks on top, Vicks on chest, cough medicine and vapour plug in, and olbas oil on a tissue above their heads is my go to when they are ill with a cough/cold.

Original poster
Drcoxisafox · 10/12/2022 22:54

I have to say normally I put Vicks on before bed but I did it just after bath as a previous poster recommended and it’s made a big difference I think (whispers so I don’t jinx it)

OP posts:
Neuby · 10/12/2022 23:27

I can relate to this so much. This year between both preschool children we've had, covid, chicken pox, hand foot and mouth, scarlet fever, 4 different vomiting bugs, one flu type virus and all the usual common colds on top of that.

DH and I have caught every single bug and we're both mentally and physically exhausted trying to power through. It's relentless and never ending and I don't know how much more of this we can take!

susiesuelou · 11/12/2022 08:56

Right there with you. It is grim. You have my sympathy.

My 20 month old has had (this past year alone): Covid, tonsillitis, a chest infection, 3/4 colds/viral infections, 3 sickness bugs, and what feels like a constant cough since about early October. I've taken I'd estimate about 8 days from work this year with her - DP has done several others too. Both of us have had comments by our employers about time taken. It's so stressful and I have no idea when it's going to get better. It gets me so down. 😢

Aussiegirl123456 · 11/12/2022 08:59

My DD is the same age. She started nursery in July and has had a constant cough and cold since. She’s been on antibiotics as one cold developed into a chest infection, but the dr said that a combination of her being in lockdown at the beginning of her life and then starting nursery has just gone like the bangers on her immune system.

Hope your little one gets better soon. It’s so hard hey having to juggle their illness and work and life.

YesItIsI · 11/12/2022 09:22

You've described my son. I'm rubbish at keeping up the brown inhaler because it takes so long to work. Nightly piriton has solved the problem!