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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Age of financial independence?

3 replies

Bruce123 · 10/12/2022 14:52

My brother in law is 52 and is still asking his 75 year old mother to take out loans on his behalf ( which he never pays back!). She has to work as a cleaner to pay off the loans. It’s a complex, codependency because she has never learned to say no to him (mainly because there was paternal domestic abuse and she tried to assuage guilt by gifting things and money to make up for the poor home-life). So now he doesn’t know how to delay gratification (holidays, new cars etc) or manage money. And she can’t say no and feels guilty for doing so, even though she is now exhausted. What help or intervention would people advise? AIBU to expect him to be able to sort this out and become financially independent?

OP posts:
Cheesuswithallama · 10/12/2022 14:53

Are you really expecting yabu...

Testina · 10/12/2022 14:56

This seems a stupid post to me 🤷🏻‍♀️
You don’t need AIBU if you just want to complain about them.
If you actually want advice, try Relationships.
What do you actually want to gain from this thread?

Pictograph · 10/12/2022 15:01

Clearly you are not being unreasonable. Who knows how she'll be able to change things now though.

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