Invite in-laws over parents to nativity?

[nativitygrinch]

Good afternoon,

So I live close to my parents and around a hour away from my in-laws.

My in-laws tend not to see the big deal in things like nativities, birthdays, Christmas etc but are very hands on day to day.
They come over a couple of times a week to see dc and when I'm sick/struggling, they are the first to come round with a weeks worth of cooking and basically look after me.

My parents on the other hand, live 5 minutes away, don't visit and make it clear they don't want us to visit them but want to be there for birthdays, etc and will get upset if they don't see GC on birthdays etc and get the praise for gifts etc.

Well it's my sons nativity next week and my in-laws have asked if they can come. The problem is. I'm only allowed two guests. And my husband wants to come and MIL. MIL has never been to a nativity before and wants to see DS first one.

I know for a fact my mother will go absolutely mental as it's "her thing" but I'm sick of her getting the glory of grandparent of the year by the children when my MIL truly is the godsend.
For example when I was hospitalised due to covid it was my MIL who looked after the children and did everything when dh was working, but because my mother took them out to soft play for a hour, she was grandma of the hour.

Aibu to say no actually I think MIL should come for once?

Seriously, just say "it's MIL's turn". Because it is. You don't have to blame your DH or lie about coin tosses. It's simply MIL's turn, especially when she's never had the chance before.

We tried to share things between GPs. None of them lived near us, but if they were visiting near Christmas time we would try and do something Christmassy with them, so one set my have joined us with the visit to Santa, one helped put up the tree, another went to panto etc.

Agree

Tactically what would work with my mum is this:

I'm so disappointed that the school is only allowing 3 people to come, it would have been amazing to have you, little Jimmy will be so sad that you're missing out, lots of gushing

And when she interjects,. violently agreeing with her " yes it is such a SHAME, I agree, so disappointing"

Sounds similar to the dofferances between my in laws and mother. I think your mil should enjoy this event, it is well earned. She sounds so much like mine.