To cancel Christmas?

[shouldntbeonhereagain]

Can’t even deal with writing a to do list. Have 4 kids between 9 and 3, 2 cats, an ancient labrador and just last week taken on a rescue puppy. My father dumped his grumpy dog on us for the weekend.My Mum is house hunting, and has no permanent address.She redirects post here, and constantly turns up to stay, but we have no spare room. I wouldn’t mind if she actually helped ! All she does is leave her car parked outside for months on end and then demands lifts to the train station and all her suitcases etc in my daughter’s room. I asked her to take the car and she said ‘she didn’t ask much of us’ and ‘families help each other’ I have to do all father christmas/cards/presents/village and scjool nativities plus bands /choirs/dance shows school and village fairs …Ahhh! Is it just me not feeling the Christmas spirit?

“You also don't need to say yes to all that school or Christmas stuff - it's not compulsory.”

It’s not, and it’s fine to limit what you do. But it seems pretty off if you say no to things like choir performances for your primary aged children because you went and got a bloody puppy you don’t have time for!

But you don't need to say "we can't do x because of the puppy", do you?

Just say they can pick two Christmas activities each and that's it.

I'll give you list. Do some lists. Its the only way.
Write it all in a notebook in your handbag, so its all in one place. Or dictate it to yourself on WhatsApp. if you worry you might forget something
Please remind yourself that you are only one person, and that you are doing your best. Just take it step by step. Nothing has to be perfect and making yourself so stressed isn't helping you.
Christmas cards.
When my dad was ill I forgot to send the usual 100 Christmas cards (it's my LEAST favorite job of the whole year) no one noticed, or mentioned it and I've been sneakily cutting back ever since. Job done.
School Stuff. - go to these things. Have a mince pie. The kids will love it. Its worth the time. You'll be sad when they are too old for these events.
Parents.
Tell your parents very firmly that if they are around they have to muck in or get out. They are old enough to sort out their own stuff. Texts are your friend. Text them what you expect them to do. ie about the Dad's dog and Mum's luggage.
Cooking/Shopping.
Just think back. What did you do last year? Just do the same again but cut out the bothersome bits. Do a very very early shop, less queues, and try to do a list - it does make things easier.
Make the day as simple as possible.
preparing and freezing the veg if you can... or get them all to help out on the morning ( it took me ages to realise I needed to buy more peelers if I wanted help with this,) ...
get Bought pancakes or croissants for breakfast. ASk the kids to think of toppings and put them in charge of that, including, clearing up. Ask your kids what they'd like to do most.

Presents.
The only people who count are your very nearest and dearest. Do as much as you can online. Set a limit to presents. If you are not seeing people until after Xmas buy online on Boxing day. Cheaper and you'll have more time. that, and buy yourself a nice present too. Ask people if they want to cutback on presents this year ( you'll be surprised how many do)
Aim to have a VERY LAZY Boxing Day, .
Puppy.
No point telling OP to get rid of a new puppy in a house of 4 children. Maybe it wasn't a good idea but it's there now. Ask kids to make a puppy poster and get them all involved in taking care of it, walks, feeding. Bribe them if you have to.

There's still plenty of time OP. Focus on yourself, your kids and the menagerie first. I know I've given some advice here, but I have to say I never manage to do all the things I thought I should, but it always works out OK in the end. Good luck

Tell your mother she’s got till Sunday evening to get her shit out of your CHILDS bedroom and her car out of your way or you’ll put her shit in her car and then report the car - I assume it’s not SORN or insured?

Tell your father to come and pick his dog up.

As for the rescue puppy? Did an actual rescue stupidly rehome it with you, or have you got it from elsewhere?

Wheres your partner in all this?

You need to tell your mum you can't keep her car or her stuff, and your dad you can't keep his dog.

Is your children's father in the picture?

It strikes me that you’d find things a lot easier if you said ‘Don’t be ridiculous, I have 4 kids, 2 cats, an ancient dog and a puppy. Go and book a space in a kennel or pay a dog sitter’ to your dad, before asking your mum exactly what she’s doing to help YOU out if that’s what family is for. If she refuses to help, then remind her that you’re not a storage facility or a branch of Premier Inn and, family or not, all possessions will be on the doorstep forthwith ready for her to collect. So what if you fall out? They’re taking the piss.

The OP is chasing after four kids, three dogs, two cats and a partridge in a pear tree. Oh and a mad mother and an unthinking father.

OP you know what you have to do immediately. Then you can enjoy your list making.

First post nailed it.

Stop taking on dogs, learn to say no, tell your family to fuck off and stop taking the piss, and focus on a nice Christmas for your kids. You wouldn’t really punish them for things they didn’t do, would you?

Are you working too?

@thelobsterquadrille you misunderstand me, I wasn’t clear enough!

I’m not suggesting that OP tell the children that activities are limited because of the puppy.

Like I said, it’s fine to have a limit on things. But I think that limit should be based on cost, energy, feeling that kids shouldn’t grow up with everything… whatever reason. The reason that I don’t think is good, is that children do less because someone has stupidly taken on a puppy. And I say stupidly, because OP already posted in Jan and Aug that she had too much to do. She is taking her time and energy away from her children, for no good reason, and that’s not on!

Ah, I got you know

Yes, that makes sense!

Crikey some on here could really write their responses a little nicer