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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To delay DS birthday

55 replies

user6685 · 08/12/2022 23:06

It's my DS 3rd birthday tomorrow. We have had an eventful week, house renovations taking longer than they should due to unforeseen issues, DS hasn't been well including a A&E visit, the house is still a complete mess and we will have builders in here again tomorrow.
He obviously doesn't know date/days and we haven't overly mentioned his birthday to him. He just knows it's soon. I feel like doing it properly in a couple of days so we can try and make the house more appropriate. Yet at the same time I feel really weird not acknowledging it tomorrow. The issue is if I tell him/say happy birthday to him he will instantly want presents/cake/party.
Has anyone else done this? Am I being overly precious?

OP posts:
alasangne · 09/12/2022 08:35

MooseAndSquirrelLoveFlannel · 09/12/2022 08:33

I did it when mine were little as DH is in the police and we would move it to dates he was on rest days. Usually just a day or two.

Now they're older obviously we cant do it, but its neither weird, unreasonable or any of the other comments on this thread.

Go for it OP, and ignore the haters and trolls.

Not a hater or a troll but it is meant to be an annual celebration of is birth. On the day of his birth. Otherwise literally what is the point. Even the Queen acknowledged her actual birthday

Beees · 09/12/2022 08:35

I agree with others saying it's very odd to not acknowledge it at all. Your son won't care the house is a mess, he's been poorly but is on the mend now so he would enjoy it any more in a few day.

Also I'm amazed no one else will acknowledge it. Surely relatives can video call or ring and say Happy birthday and he doesn't need to open lots of presents to make lots of mess.

Ignoring it altogether is very strange in my opinion and you run the risk of not celebrating at all if you're waiting for everything to be perfect.

Sirzy · 09/12/2022 08:35

it Sounds like a nice chilled day away from the stress enjoying his birthday is actually exactly what you all need.

IneedanewTV · 09/12/2022 08:38

How weird. I never knew there was such a thing as moving kids birthdays. Mine always fell on a school day - I wish I had pretended it was always on a Saturday now. But did they miss out ? No of course not. We are overthink stuff way too much.

Coolyule · 09/12/2022 08:38

I’m pretty sure I did this for my dds bday- think she was 3 or 2. I was working on her bday and I thought it would be confusing to say happy birthday and not do much else so we celebrated it the next day which was a Saturday

IneedanewTV · 09/12/2022 08:41

It’s also the day that recognises that you gave birth. Don’t you want to celebrate that on the day? I would find it so odd not acknowledging the fact I gave birth to this little bundle and my child’s birthday.

fancyacuppatea · 09/12/2022 08:41

Fidgety31 · 08/12/2022 23:45

YABU - yours kids birthday is more important than the state of your kitchen .

Would that be the kitchen that OP has said is in her living room??

@user6685 Leave it a few days and then do it...he won't know, he'll just have to be 2 for a bit longer. I hope he feels better soon Bear

Odoreida · 09/12/2022 08:41

Definitely move it. Just make a plan and get everyone on board. Hope things get easier for you soon.

IneedanewTV · 09/12/2022 08:43

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Not agreeing with you isn’t trolling. Otherwise why did you come here?

CountZacular · 09/12/2022 08:43

Of course when they are old enough to know the date you can’t move their birthday, but at 3 he isn’t going to know the difference and it’s really not a big deal. I don’t know why posters are talking about school - school kids know their birthday. Toddlers don’t.

If it’s easier as a family, just push it back a couple of days. Better a stress free, happier but slightly delayed celebration.

beachcitygirl · 09/12/2022 08:44

Yup. Yabu

Weird as hell.

I wouldn't have guests or a party etc especially with little one being ill, but I can't understand why you wouldn't have a cake and cuddle & acknowledge birthday

Original poster
user6685 · 09/12/2022 08:47

Thanks everyone I don't mind people saying they find it strange. Just some of the comments were unnecessary.
Definitely won't be missed/forgot he has a lot of presents and people planning to see him and we already have his cake ready.
It's today so I have already wished him a happy birthday and he doesn't seem too enthusiastic which I think shows he still isn't 100%. I think we will have some cake today and a couple of presents. Hoping to celebrate it properly tomorrow or Sunday

OP posts:
Usernameisunavailable · 09/12/2022 08:47

He won’t have a clue which actual day it is at that age. Save the celebrations for when he’s well enough to enjoy them. It will be a lovely treat when he feels well again.

NotSorry · 09/12/2022 08:48

It’s not weird at all - not sure why so many PPs are getting worked up - we told one of ours it was their birthday on a Sunday once as it was actually a Monday but we had the party at the weekend 🤷‍♀️ they were none the wiser.

Beees · 09/12/2022 08:50

Sounds like you've come to a cgood compromise. In sure he will enjoy being made a fuss of twice much nicer than if you'd ignored today and just pretended it was at the weekend. Two special days is more fun.

Ducksurprise · 09/12/2022 08:50

I honestly can't see the issue, and have done the same. We even had Christmas day four days late, complete with FC arrival and family playing ball due to an emergency hospital admission three days before Christmas.

Yes I would do it.

Mariposista · 09/12/2022 08:53

You can give him his cards/present from you/small cake on the day itself - he won’t notice if the house is a tip. Or take him to McDonalds to do it! (Sure he won’t complain). Then plan a party for when you have more time (and don’t have it at home)

Wayk · 09/12/2022 09:04

Defer his birthday, his health is more important and people will appreciate you are thinking of them.

Millana · 09/12/2022 09:06

He won't care about the state of the house. Why can't you do presents and cake in a messy house?

Other people WILL wish him happy birthday on his birthday.

Millana · 09/12/2022 09:07

Whoops, missed your update. Sorry.

Hope he feels better soon

Crunchymum · 09/12/2022 09:08

Are you having a party?

ErinAndTonic · 09/12/2022 09:12

If it's going to make everyone's lives easier, make you all happier and enjoy it more - absolutely delay it, he is too young to know.

Ignore all the self righteous comments here - he's 3 not 13, won't know a difference and if he's unwell and the house has renovations it would affect the quality of his day. Far better to do it at a time that suits. And it's easy to let others know so they don't put their foot in it.

Sorry for all the judgemental comments you're getting.

sunnydayhereandnow · 09/12/2022 09:26

Definitely! I just did this with DS3 :) I had made a mistake about which day of the week his birthday was was and family were available on what was actually 2 days after his birthday. We just saved the birthday for then.

healthadvice123 · 09/12/2022 10:54

Surely he can have his presents , cake on his birthday and of doing a party he can have that in a couple days. Most kids dob't have party on the day lots of times
For his presents and family having cake , why does the house being a mess matter

healthadvice123 · 09/12/2022 10:57

Seen update and thats best way and what we often did if kids had midweek birthdays