I've NC’d for this. Apologies if this is long.
DS is 24, he met another at the time teenager online at 18/19, I'll call him C, they met up many times and moved into a flat a year or so later. DS moved 3.5 hours away so I didn't see him very often but they'd both visit and i’d go and visit them etc. DS suffers from mental health issues and C has always tried to help DS, C is gay which we've always known and I was fine with at the time, my sister would make comments that DS isn't gay, he’ll find a girlfriend etc.
This summer, DS was visiting and sister kept asking him if he had a girlfriend, DS seemed uncomfortable so I changed the topic of conversation and he later told me he's in a relationship with C, they have been for a few years and said he'd forgotten to tell me as he knew I’d be fine with it anyway as I was already welcoming to C and always said ‘or boyfriend’ when speaking to him about things. He told me he didn't want my sister to know as he'd have to make a big deal about it and come out instead of just saying he was in a relationship.
Usually, at Christmas DS spends it with me and C with his family but DS told me he wanted to spend it with just C this year and said he'd visit for new year which I was fine with. About a week ago he attempted suicide, I later found out he’d stopped taking his anti depressants which I didn't know about nor did C, I asked him if he wanted to come back here and he said yes, he came here yesterday and C was also with him which I had no issue with.
I'm due to host Christmas for my sisters and their DC’s and my mum etc, DS is now saying he wants to spend Christmas here with C which we are going to be doing. But DS is very quiet and isn't really himself, so I'm not sure he'd really want to be around a lot of people, C has also said he isn't sure but thinks DS will be happier spending it with just the two of us. I've not spoken to DS as I don't want to put it on him to make the decision.
WIBU to say I'm not hosting this year anymore?