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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Dh porn on search history

38 replies

timeforbedd · 08/12/2022 19:53

Asked dh to use his phone as mine was on charge. Needed to check something on internet. (We regularly do this if our phones are charging, out of battery etc).

Went into Google clicked to start typing and it brought up recently searched pages. A porn website was showing in the recent Google search history.

I simply asked dh, "when were you watching porn?" He said he wasn't. I said well it's on your Google search history. He is adamant it wasn't him.

It was this morning. He is adamant, swearing on kids life's it wasn't him.

On his actual search history, 2 videos have been clicked onto as I can see the title of the video.

I trust him 100% I wasn't snooping because I never have any reason to (before anyone starts saying I don't trust him 😂).

Aibu to think it could only have been him? No1 else has access to his phone as it has a passcode. It's not signed in to his Google account so access is simply through that phone.

He has made me feel totally shit as says I obv don't trust him as I don't believe him, but I do. I honestly do!

But how else would it have got there? No other random websites are there, all other Google searches are things he searched.

OP posts:

Iwonder08 · 08/12/2022 21:49

You invaded his privacy and quizzed him on this private matter. You are the one who should apologise and stop your 'investigation'.

Getoff · 08/12/2022 22:18

timeforbedd · 08/12/2022 20:01

I asked just out of curiosity as he said before he didn't watch it.

I have never said, don't watch it, your not allowed to watch it etc. because I don't control him.

The issue is that I think he lied and he is making it out that I don't believe him (which I don't because how else would it get on his search history)

I have truly never doubted anything he has said to me and I can hand on my heart say that.

I just don't understand how it would get there if it wasn't him when no1 else has access to his phone.

You were in the wrong, you invaded his privacy. The fact that he lied is just him trying to negate the wrong you did.

SunshineLoving · 08/12/2022 22:23

He's probably embarrassed. Maybe he doesn't watch it a lot or doesn't want anything to know he watches it.

I wouldn't mention it again if I was you. Most people watch porn and I would let this little lie go. And yes I think it's probably a little lie as he's just embarrassed that you've seen what he was doing.

Pjsandhotchoc · 08/12/2022 22:24

I appreciate you didn’t interrogate him as some others have suggested. I think he lied as a knee jerk reaction and then couldn’t go back on that.
I don’t mind if my husband watches porn, I don’t particularly want to know when or what he’s watching though! Every couple is different. Maybe your husband told you a white lie saying he doesn’t watch it as he had assumed you wouldn’t like it. I think you’d both benefit from an honest and open conversation about it.

themanwho · 10/12/2022 10:22

Here here!! 👏

the phones the problem here

she unintentionally caught a glimpse at something private to her husband, and then can’t stop thinking about it

he has a right to privacy and his own thoughts.. the technology is the issue really

fdgdfgdfgdfg · 10/12/2022 10:39

If you don't have an issue with porn use the that's not the question you're really asking is it. You're asking when he had a wank.

I wouldn't lie if my DP asked when I'd had a wank as well., But I know she wouldn't ask. It's none of my partner's business when I do it or what I watch when I do it. Frankly, it's between me and my dick.

DP on the other hand probably would hide and lie about it, due to certain hangups she has around sex. It wouldnt bother me though, because it's not information I have any business knowing

FitAt50 · 10/12/2022 10:48

He lied because he is mortified and embarrassed. Why did you feel the need to mention it.

Thoughtful2355 · 10/12/2022 10:53

Why would you even have asked him? bit wierd to be honest, so he watched some porn. If your not against porn then why on earth are you asking him to disclose that type of personal info. I wouldnt want to just casually tell someone i watched porn either partner or not.

yentirb · 10/12/2022 10:54

Idk why people need to know if their partner watches porn, it's his business.

Thoughtful2355 · 10/12/2022 10:55

Also never lying isnt realistic. Its a little lie about not waatching porn Jeesus

Last night my husband asked if i had eaten the 3 cupcakes in the cupboard. I lied, but i had but i couldnt tell him that 3 cupcakes got eaten within 10 minutes by myself only. So i said Nope. Of course he knows it was me, i know he knows and he knows that i know that he knows. But for embarressment sake. we say nothing. He just grins at me.

Idtotallybangdreamoftheendlessnotgonnalie · 10/12/2022 11:08

Poor bloke, let him have a cheeky wank without the third degree!

Notanotherwindow · 10/12/2022 12:04

Why shouldn't he lie?

He has a right to privacy on the subject of when he was having a wank ffs. Do you provide him details of when, where and how you last masturbated or would you say actually it's no ones business but yours?

FermisLeftFoot · 10/12/2022 12:10

If you weren’t bothered about him watching porn you wouldn’t have asked him when he did it. Doubt if it had been a search for basically anything else you’d have mentioned or.

You might as well have just asked him for the date of his last wank (from his pov) out of the blue!

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