To ask someone to just chat with me

[saturnisturning]

And give me some advice about the stress in my life.

i changed jobs in May and it’s super stressful. I’m paid well but my god it’s a stress.

i made a minor error today (think accidentally saving something in the wrong place) while working on 5 things at once and I got a post mortem email from some man who owns the files. As if I did it on purpose and telling me about the chaos I’d caused….exceptionally OTT and copied in other people. A quick teams heads up would have sufficed.

on top of that I work full time with two kids and my DH frequently works abroad.

my dad is an alcoholic and I’m shouldering that burden with my mum.

it’s a lot.

I’m just tired and at the end of my rope with it all.

Try not to over think it. You said yourself, minor mistake.

When something like this happens I always try and remember that the people copied into the email will likely be thinking 'why the hell do I need to know that'. They don't care about a minor mistake. Sounds like he is on a power trip.

You have a lot on your plate, an awful lot, cut yourself some slack, have some time for yourself where you can (appreciate that's probably very difficult!).

Yes agree the people copied into the email will probably be thinking ‘what a dick!’ about the man who sent it.

What do you find stressful about your job?

Do you have (or can you get) any help with the kids?

Is it possible to detach from the situation with your dad in any way?

Have you got a nice manager. Can you talk to them about helping manage work load while you are feeling highly stressed?

no wonder you are feeling stressed really. Sounds like a reasonable reaction to having multiple stressors and a busy life.

many chance you have options of reducing hours at all?

Can you possibly afford to go down to 4 days? Keep the kids in whatever childcare they currently have, and just spend that 5th day catching up with yourself. Potter, nap, do the jobs you never have a chance to do, see friends for coffee if they’re free, sit with a cup of tea in silence with no demands on you. It may sound expensive, but it’s a hell of a lot cheaper than your family having to glue you back together when you burn out.

oh, and email guy’s a dick and everyone cc’d on that email thought so.

I am going to ask to go to 4 days in Feb/March next year - just waiting til the probationary period is over. Money isn’t an issue (about the only thing that isn’t 😅) so it’ll defo happen.

i can’t really detach myself from my dad. My mum needs me and I would never see her deal with this alone. I wouldn’t forgive myself. Part of me is readying myself for my dad dying suddenly. The amount he drinks makes me think he’s leading up to this. Also no one really knows about this IRL. My mum and dh obvs do but we don’t mention it outside the family.

it’s just a lot and I sometimes feel like I’m awake at 4am just wondering if my life will ever destress.

the kids are a joy though tbh. They keep me sane with silly chat and giggles.