To press a slice of hot toast to my face…

[AlansFungalFootPowder]

…and take comfort in its bready warmth?

So bloody cold today.

Oh yes! They get stupidly warm. Would make nice insoles for slippers.

Crumpet on each boob

French sticks down your trousers

If you put lard on it you have perfect warm moisturiser sponge.
2 birds, one stone

I didn’t have wrapping so I oncehollowed out a loaf and hid ds present in it. He was totally bemused. I thought it was genius!

I thought it was going to be a reference to this

While we're at it, use a doughnut in place of a beauty blender. If you're clever and chose an iced one, well - it's already loaded with product.

This thread is face heart warming.

You could always photograph the toast once finished and say the imprint is the face of Jesus - just in time for his birthday too!

My top tip is to use a toasted pitta bread as a clutch bag - you can get your keys, bank card and maybe even a lipstick in there.