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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU to feel I've been a mug...

23 replies

OneDetectorist · 07/12/2022 20:24

Neighbour asked me to feed her cats while she was away for 6 days, I said yes no problem.

Then she asked, as I was feeding the cats, could I look after her 2 small dogs. I love animals so said yes, and looked after the dogs and cats for 6 days.

I send her daily updates and photos. She replied saying what a great time she was having.

She was over 6 hours late arriving home to collect the dogs, she didn't check if that was okay which irked me a bit as I did have plans.

She hasn't once said thank you, since she came back a few days ago.

I feel like a right mug. AIBU to think looking after her animals for nearly a week, for free, deserves a thank you?

OP posts:

Rainbowqueeen · 07/12/2022 20:25

Well at least you know to politely decline if she ever asks again

Dacadactyl · 07/12/2022 20:26

YANBU.

You most definitely deserve thanks and I also think a card and gift too.

Vaccine001 · 07/12/2022 20:26

YANBU Evil cow

Creescendo · 07/12/2022 20:27

Six days of looking after both cats and dogs? I would never do this for free. She is taking advantage of you. She owes you at the very least a huge Thank you and a gift.
At least you will know better for next time. It would be a very firm NO from me.

Original poster

OneDetectorist · 07/12/2022 20:31

Thank you for the replies - I was starting to doubt if it's just a neighbourly thing and I was being entitled expecting some sort of gratitude.

All she's done is post photos on FB about what a great time she's had.

I'm really pissed off!

OP posts:

Original poster

OneDetectorist · 07/12/2022 20:34

At least you will know better for next time. It would be a very firm NO from me

I feel like refusing to even take her parcel deliveries now. Is that petty?

OP posts:

Teapleasebobb · 07/12/2022 20:37

Wow, she's rude! Definitely say no next time and also don't take in her parcels! She's a CF!

HanSB · 07/12/2022 20:38

Looking after that many animals goes beyond neighbourly friendliness. You should have charged her, it would have cost her hundreds in hiring someone to do the same. The very least she could have done was say thank you and give you a token of appreciation. I wouldn't go out of my way to do anything for her again. I very much doubt she would do the same for you!

Pocketfullofdogtreats · 07/12/2022 20:39

It is a huge responsibility and I can't Imagine why she hasn't thanked you. I have been in the same boat (looking after pets with no offer of payment), but I did get a thank you and a small present. I did it because I love their dog, though. So I did it to spend time with him, and enjoy taking him out rather than as a favour to the owners.

MrsMontyD · 07/12/2022 20:42

You've saved her a lot of money, a nice present was definitely in order never mind a thank you.

VladmirsPoutine · 07/12/2022 20:44

A thank you would have been the least of it in my opinion! Yanbu. Next time she asks say no and tell her why. She's absolutely mannerless1

Georgeskitchen · 07/12/2022 20:44

She better start saving up for kennels/cattery fees for next time she goes away the cheeky mare

Original poster

OneDetectorist · 07/12/2022 20:44

Teapleasebobb · 07/12/2022 20:37

Wow, she's rude! Definitely say no next time and also don't take in her parcels! She's a CF!

Genuinely don't think I've ever actually met a real life CF like this before - I can't understand how she can't bring herself to have just said thank you.

When she collected the dogs she just said about what a great time she'd had.

OP posts:

StrawberryWater · 07/12/2022 20:45

It sucks but you now know not to do her any favours in future.

Dogsinthecradle · 07/12/2022 20:47

I posted about almost the same a few weeks ago

a friend asked if I’d have her dog-not a small dog-as she was at work overnight
i agreed-no problems as we do love him to bits

she sent a large bag of treats but no food/poo bags/proper lead (my son has the same breed and had left bits at our house so by sheer luck,I was prepared)

we had him-I walked him,fed him out of my own pocket,picked up what he produced etc

went to drop him home (again at my time and expense)

she met me,snatched his lead,demanded his bag and walked off

no thank you,no kiss my arse-nothing

(she did message me later that day to tell me I hadn’t given him enough treats and why didn’t I buy him his 4 maccys shakes a day?honest to god,the amount of treats would have seen 20 dogs have a treat a day for months-he must be high as a kite on sugar all the time-the bag had dog treats,doughnuts,cream cakes,biscuits and more)

shes just messaged to tell me I’m having him again tomorrow as she knows it’s my day off

oddly,I have plans and can’t

Habreathmint · 07/12/2022 20:48

I think you should've agreed terms before you did it. There's no point in being a martyr now.

ClearSkiesxxx · 07/12/2022 20:49

A friend of a friend helped me out with my dog the other day when I was unexpectedly called into work. She popped in, walked him and sat and gave him cuddles and cracked on with some work online for a few hours. I got her a bottle of Prosecco and a box of chocolates. So no, you're not being unreasonable to expect a thank you for everything you did over 6 days!! Cheeky madam!!

ColdHandsHotHead · 07/12/2022 20:54

I think you should research what it would cost where you live to kennel them and if she asks again, that's your charge, payment in advance. Where I live, boarding two dogs and two cats for six days would cost you £350.

INACGMOOH · 07/12/2022 21:09

I really don't understand this passive aggressive "just say no next time" and "don't take her parcels" stuff. Call her or go round and say "Look, it was lovely to spend time with your pets but it was also hard work and I saved you a huge amount of expense and have not even had a thank you. So please don't ask me to do it again because I am not prepared to unless you pay me the going rate." Job done - she's then aware that she's been a CF and you don't have to give the whole thing another thought.

RewildingAmbridge · 07/12/2022 21:13

We pay a friend of my mum's who lives a few streets down from us, who always tries to refuse money and we always come back with profuse thanks and a gift as well as the money and that's just got feeding one cat!
Very rude, wouldn't be doing any more favours for her.

PopcornAndPeanutsAndChocolateAndTea · 07/12/2022 21:20

Next time you see her say straight away 'sorry what was that you just said?'
She'll say 'nothing?'
Then reply 'Oh! I thought I heard you say thankyou for looking after your animals for a week and sorry you were 6 hours late'....

A bit passive aggressive but who cares, you won't be doing it again will you

Original poster

OneDetectorist · 08/12/2022 06:27

I definitely won't do anything for her again. I do lots of little things, now I've had chance to think about it, like taking her bin in/taking it out for her, getting shopping etc.

I'm going to stop all of it.

OP posts:

alasangne · 08/12/2022 06:31

I wouldn't have bothered with the daily updates.

Yanbu

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