Overwhelmed

[cakesandchocolate]

I was describing to my partner how busy work has been and how I feel my mind is all over the place as we have a lot to sort out for Christmas and other stuff going on. Said I felt overwhelmed (if it matters I’m normally a coper)
partner responds with ‘I know what you mean, I…and goes on to explains stuff that is stressing them out.
Whenever I (rarely) complain about illness/tiredness/stress/strain it’s always the same. It’s like I can never be given any sympathy because they’re in exactly the same boat.

Aibu - I feel not heard and that partner always turns it round to their issues.

parner disagrees and says they’re being empathetic.

Oh no! I'm wondering if you are my husband!? If so ... Sorry!

In my house DH and I are both v tired and busy, particularly lately. So I no doubt do this. What would make me stop, is DH literally saying to me - "sorry supercold, I know you are tired and busy too, but when I tell you I'm tired, what I really need is a big hug, a cup of tea and a bit of sympathy! Is that ok?" Then I'd say, "oh sorry, of course", and give him a hug!

So, my suggestion is just tell your partner how you feel and what you need. Then they'll know! Easy. If it's not that easy, maybe theres a few other issues going on in the relationship.

It might be that your partner just wants to show they can relate and understand rather than wanting to make themselves the focus. Maybe it’s best to say ‘I need to vent/rant right now and let off steam, I’d really appreciate if you could just listen and let me talk - it would help me’ or something to that effect.

My husband does this but I know I also do it at times. I know how frustrating it can be as I've just had that conversation again re needing to vent and not hear his issues or what he thinks I should do to fix things!