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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

DP didn’t communicate

30 replies

Str3bor · 07/12/2022 14:25

Ok so I know this is a really pathetic argument but just wanted an objective opinion!

So my DP and I do not live together and he picks me up for work in the morning when we both go into the office (our offices are not far from each other) unless he needs to be in earlier than me. We are both in the office today. So I text him last night about something unrelated and it was late and he didn’t reply so I just presumed he had fallen asleep. He read my text this morning and I had gotten up and was getting ready for work and text him asking if he was picking me up. He then calls me and asks if I want picking up right now as he was already by mine, I wasn’t ready so said no.

This then proceeded into an argument as i asked why he had left the house and went to work without bothering to tell me he wasn’t picking me up today, he then says doesn’t your phone work either, you didn’t bother to text me earlier and make arrangements with me about me picking you up. I’m not so bothered about the lift, I can get the train easily enough which I do sometimes when he tells me he needs to be in early, it’s just the lack of communication and deflection that had made me mad.

Who is in the wrong or is it both of us? And am i overreacting?

OP posts:
Str3bor · 07/12/2022 15:41

Mumsanetta · 07/12/2022 15:31

@Str3bor getting a lift from him doesn’t sound worth it. I like certainty so would prefer to get the train and avoid the stress of being beholden to someone who doesn’t know what their doing that week or whose diary changes all the time.

it is stressful and I suppose I just assume if I have told him what days I am in he should tell me the days he can’t take me.

He also takes me home and will text me to tell me to leave work as he’s finished and I walk to his work and end up standing outside waiting for him for 15 mins which is not very enjoyable in the rain. I know he is taking me home but in reality it’s much easier for me to get the train and I know what I’m doing then and not having to rely on someone. Like I said I just take the opportunity to see him but i think it’s just more hassle than it’s worth.

OP posts:
RishisProudMum · 07/12/2022 15:44

Your username looked familiar, so I went back and checked your previous posts. OP, is this the same man? The one who gets mardy if you refuse to cosleep with his 8 year old?

Str3bor · 07/12/2022 15:45

RishisProudMum · 07/12/2022 15:44

Your username looked familiar, so I went back and checked your previous posts. OP, is this the same man? The one who gets mardy if you refuse to cosleep with his 8 year old?

Yes, we have made progress on that front but I just feel like we seem to be arguing over anything lately and I’m just wondering if the problem is me

OP posts:
picklemewalnuts · 07/12/2022 15:45

Honestly it sounds like he's checked out. He's not thinking about you anything like as much as you think about him.

Stop chasing.

RishisProudMum · 07/12/2022 15:50

Str3bor · 07/12/2022 15:45

Yes, we have made progress on that front but I just feel like we seem to be arguing over anything lately and I’m just wondering if the problem is me

It’s really not coming across like you’re the problem.

Either way, regardless of who is ‘right’, what’s the point of a relationship in which you’re unhappy?

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