Oh bless you. It's hard. Everything at the end of pregnancy is crap and to think your baby might be at risk and you're just waiting with nothing happening is complete torture. And to have things sprung on you can be very upsetting as well, especially when you've been planning and preparing for one thing and suddenly in an instant it's all going to be different. It will be OK. One of mine went breech near the end and I found some comfort in reading MN threads about preparation for c-section and what to expect.
Please do talk to someone (medical) about your worries, they should be able to put everything in context for you, it's probably both true that it is urgent but not THAT urgent, but perhaps some clarification would be helpful. Definitely explain what you feel about worrying they are waiting for the CTG to get worse. They should be able to explain to you what has caused the alarm, what that means, what they are looking for with the CTGs and how long they can safely wait plus how long they would aim to wait (these will probably be different).
When you've had something in mind (e.g. low risk vaginal birth) and suddenly they are saying that is high risk and you'd be best off with a c-section it can be difficult because you can be stuck on that original vision of the low risk calm low intervention vaginal birth, so it can help to instead of comparing with that, try to compare the idea of a high risk vaginal birth going wrong with the very controlled, calm, safe c-section. It can help to make the option that previously seemed like the "bad" option feel and look better. I heard this described as "Don't compare with an idealistic idea of perfection, compare with the reality of what would happen if you chose that option" and I find it helpful, maybe it will also be helpful to you. It's also OK to grieve that vision of the "perfect" birth, even if you know intellectually that it might not have gone like that anyway, sometimes you just need some space to process that.
Even an emergency section, should you need that, as I understand isn't practically any different from a planned one - you're still awake with a spinal block, the only difference is that it's happening within the next 15 minutes rather than the next 24-48 hours.