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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

I'm a terrible adult?

2 replies

PurpleSkittles · 06/12/2022 18:50

Evening ❤️

Just feeling sorry for myself I think.. DP and I split in July after 13 years together. 2 DC. Its been v hard to say the least but I've managed and there are days when life is much better than previously but some days my heart aches so much for him and the support of working and raising kids. He was originally taking kids on weekends then he used DD starting secondary as a reason to not (he doesn't drive so long bus journeys etc) and I let him come here and stay on weekends. That's sort of crumbled after a big barny as I was peed off he didn't follow through with a promise to DD12 on her birthday he also didn't follow through with coming to see her citing 'being tired after work' as a reason. He loves 40 miles away so I do get it but I'm constantly exhausted and I get shit done! I have no choice.

Anyway I digress. My qualm is that I feel like I'm just plodding through life, no social life, no friends, no financial security, I feel lost. We got into alot of debt during our time together and I don't want to say I was coerced I did make stupid mistakes myself but I was definitely influenced into alot. My plan was to have a mortgage by now, be able to afford holidays etc and instead I'm about £8000 in debt. My house is realitively nice but needs alot of improvements. My credit score is shot. I can't imagine anyone ever wanting to be with me. I'm a mess.

AIBU to think this is my life forever?

I do have a good job recently took a promotion and I have entered into a DMP with stepchange to clear these debts but I'm looking at December 2027 and it feels hopeless. Will I ever get a mortgage 😪 gosh I feel like I'm a useless adult. I feel guilty for my kids. There's gotta be more to life?

OP posts:
Stressedmum2017 · 06/12/2022 19:11

I'm in a very similar boat to you (but worse) and whilst if I dwell too long and compare myself to others my age it will get me down the reality is life can be and has been for me so so so much worse. So to be honest I am now just grateful for what I do have and what I have achieved (a nice home, happy, healthy children) and for now that will just have to be enough ❤️

PurpleSkittles · 06/12/2022 19:18

Its v difficult i'm sorry to hear your stuggles as well. I work in quite a professional setting and everyone is so financially secure i find myself comparing and feeling like a failure. But saying that I'm in a much better position now than 6 years ago and I know there are people struggling so much more than me but personally I feel I'm constantly letting myself and my kids down it's an awful feeling x

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