Due to coming from a dysfunctional home and needing to earn money etc I started uni late . As did most of the class to be fair so that wasn’t awkward. Due to covid first year was done online - brilliant . That was fine. Second year , hated it , continued to work from home and not go in because I didn’t like being there . I felt too anxious and panicky to be on site so I was far more productive at home. Sort of made friends with a couple people . Year 3 , this year. Complete disaster . Just found out I probably have a very serious life threatening illness , probably not a long life expectancy, all I wanted to do was attend an exhibition and show off the work I’ve sat doing week after week , night after night and the space they promised me is now unavailable so I can’t even do that I’ve told them I shan’t bother now , I’ve spent so much money and put hundreds of hours into it and it’ll likely just rot in my shed or go in the bin now . Also the person I sort of made friends with is now ghosting me and I feel too awkward to be there. I’m good at the subject and grade high and will probably get a reasonable grade but now I’m going to be dead before I manage a career and all I’ve done is stress and suffer for three years doing something I thought was my dream but wasn’t .and I still don’t have a friend in the world . My poor kids practically lived at the childminders too.
total. Fucking .waste. Of .precious .life.
just that really .