Phoney Father Christmas's!!!!

[PetraBP]

Is it time to tell DD8 the truth?

We took her to see Santa on Saturday afternoon at, let’s call it “Venue A”.

Her bestie, as it turns out, also went to see Santa on Saturday afternoon at “Venue B”.

Yesterday DD came home on the verge of tears because she and bestie had a huge blazing row about who had seen the real Father Christmas and who had seen a “phoney Father Christmas” at the weekend.

Add to that, we have the charity float thing that comes round and the Santa who was in that looked nothing like the Santa she saw.

Also, you seem to see “Santas” everywhere when out and about.

We’re reaching Santa saturation point!

I think it’s causing her some anxiety. She was wet last night too.

Is 8 the right age to tell her it’s all a bit of fun for younger children? I think I’d worked it out by then but never said anything in case I got fewer presents!

I saw this just after I posted. I actually laughed out loud :)

Why would Santa's helpers dress like Santa?
This makes no sense.

It's causing her anxiety - please, anxiety is a medical condition.

Anyways, I got around it by saying that Santa has lots of helpers - doing 'santa work' (Santa visits) and some people dressed as Santa to do good things at Christmas (santas on float/doing collections)

Good luck

Is his name Neill?
Does he wear funky sweaters?
Did you steal his weenie whistle?

My DD figured out the many Santas problem when she was 5.

There's one official Santa at a time, the one who does the reindeer/chimney stuff. The others in the grottos are all retired Santas. (I guess the Xmas Eve job is exhausting so there's a high turnover rate hence many retirees).

This logical solution satisfies her sceptical mind for that year, though by 6 she knew it was just fun but was more than happy to keep the secret for the benefit of her more credulous friends.

Its funny. I never believed the Father Christmas at the dept store or other grotto was real, even as a very small child. While simultaneously believing totally in the real thing.
The idea of "helpers" was never floated. I think I just assumed they were frauds. 😂

Both saw phoney ones, he's very busy

Fu King Santa Tracker tho showing he's in the frigging US last Sunday whilst he was also seemingly sat in the corner of our pub. Told her he's a helper and now she knows she has to not break the santa magic by letting the kids know the real one is too busy else she'll break the Christmas magic . She's Yr 6 so I suspect she knows and was being a stinker looking on santa t tracker anyway whilst we were paying to have breakfast with him.

If the idea of santa is actually upsetting her you could tell her the truth but tell her to keep it to herself.
Not all children like the idea of santa my DD was relieved to learn a stranger doesn't come into our house

So your child now has anxiety because of the lies everyone (parents, teachers, friends) have been telling her, and you are wondering if you should tell her the truth? What would you do if this was any other topic?

I don't understand why there is so much drama over what is essentially a massive lie. I have one much older DC and one toddler. With my eldest, we did do a present from Santa but it was all very light touch and I don't even remember him finding out because it wasn't a massive deal. With my toddler, I refer to it as "in the story, Santa comes on his sleigh etc etc..." It won't spoil the magic of Christmas - that is whatever you make it, and won't mean we can't do Santa visits or whatever else when she's a bit bigger. Children see characters from their favourite stories in films, in theatre productions etc and they love it and there is a sense of magic in that, too. I won't be outright lying to my children or being the architect of some elaborate fantasy, which they then, unsurprisingly, become very attached to. It can be magical and lovely without that.

Re your DD, I think 8 is old enough to let her into the secret tbh. An occasion has arisen naturally with the argument between her and her friend to allow you to tell her, so I think you should. If you are keen to keep Santa alive, you could always let her be part of organising everything for a younger sibling, if she has one, so she feels part of something in a different way, whilst still keeping the myth going for someone else.

Sorry- didn’t mean to cause offence.

I didn’t realise Anxiety was a medical condition, I thought it was a state of being.

Mods- please delete/edit post as appropriate.

I’ll be more careful about using that word in future outside of its proper context.