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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be unsure about forgiving my dad?

24 replies

FTMChar · 06/12/2022 12:54

My dad hasn’t spoken to me in 3 months. I’m thinking of reaching out to him first as I really can’t see him doing it, but I’m still hurt by his actions and I’m unsure.
This may be long as I don’t want to dripfeed but I’ll update with more details if asked.
My dad lives around 100 miles away and lives alone, my parents split up when I was very young due to his behaviour, but he and mum got on fine for most of my life and had a friendly relationship afterwards. He would come to visit my sister and I or we’d go to him on weekends, but time between seeing him got further apart as we got older. My mum got married to my stepdad about 5 years after the split and had 3 more children. I’m now 24 and had my first baby in July, I live with my parents and siblings as I fled my own home whilst pregnant due to DA. In August my grandad died with Alzheimer’s, unfortunately the day before he, my dad and my nana were meant to travel to meet baby. My dad was his carer for around 2 years whilst holding a full time job with long hours and a lot of responsibility. Grandad was diagnosed 6 years before he died, Dad always said he was prepared for it and would be fine when it eventually happened but it obviously had a massive effect on him.
In September, my dad and nana traveled to see baby, me and my younger sister, we were going to meet for lunch. I had seen them since, once for lunch with baby after grandad passed and once for the funeral without baby. The funeral was so depressing, it was a crem. My dad organised the whole thing, there were no flowers, hardly any guests, no programme or photo of him, basic bare coffin, no meal or drinks afterwards. My grandad was a wonderful, generous, gentle and caring man and it seemed such a disrespectful way to pay tribute to him, but I didn’t say so to avoid upsetting dad.
The morning of the meetup for the lunch, my mum asked me if she could come with us and I agreed. Now I really should have let my dad know she was coming, but as they have always maintained a friendly relationship I didn’t think it’d be a problem. When we get to town to meet up, my dad walks towards us with a face like thunder. When he realises mum wants to come with us, he gets really angry and says ‘she’s not coming with us is she? I didn’t invite her, I came all this way to have lunch with you, not her’. I’m a little taken aback by this, I apologise for not telling him that mum wanted to come and explain I didn’t think it’d be an issue as we’ve had lunch and done things together before. My dad is generally unpleasant towards my mum until she leaves politely, but visibly upset. My nana doesn’t say anything, she seems timid and as we walk through town towards the restaurant, she and my sister hang back behind me pushing the baby in the pram and my dad next to me. On the way, my dad raises his voice at me repeatedly, telling me I’d ruined the day and wasted his time, been incredibly selfish and he couldn’t believe I’d not asked his permission to bring mum along. I apologise over and over, getting more upset as he gets more angry. Bare in mind we are in public and he is now shouting at me as I’m crying and pushing the pram. Baby gets upset, so I have to stop in the street to comfort her. I’m sat on a bench feeding her and it was pretty cold! He’s still shouting at me and saying hurtful things with the baby in my arms and when his rants start to get a bit strange, I stop being upset and start sticking up for myself. Meanwhile my nana and sister are still keeping their distance, my sister is younger than me and autistic and was really confused and distressed by how dad was acting. We do eventually make it to the restaurant where I excuse myself to go to the loo where I call my mum and explain what’s happening. We decide as he’s still not stopped being angry and apologising wasn’t helping, it was best for my stepdad to come and pick us up to bring us home. I apologise to him again and to my nana, as I say goodbye to her I get upset and cry as I don’t know when I’ll see her again. My dad passes another hurtful comment as we leave.
I haven’t heard from him since. I did reach out to my Nana but she told me she didn’t want to talk to me, possibly convinced by my dad to cut me off.
I don’t know what to do for the best. The situation has caused me and my sister a lot of pain, I cry about it often. I worry about my nana so much now she’s on her own and I worry about my dad as his behaviour was so strange. He has only acted like that towards us a handful of times throughout my life, usually after the breakup of a relationship. He has had gambling issues in the past and does get drunk several times a week, I worry it’s now worse and he isn’t looking after himself and is depressed after grandads death. I’ve found it quite difficult to deal with myself as I was close to my grandad and I’ve had another family bereavement since.

YABU - he’s your dad, reach out to him
YANBU - he’s your dad, he should reach out to you

OP posts:
MrsWhites · 06/12/2022 12:59

Personally I don’t have time in my life for people like that so I wouldn’t bother!

Keyansier · 06/12/2022 13:03

MrsWhites · 06/12/2022 12:59

Personally I don’t have time in my life for people like that so I wouldn’t bother!

It's not "people like that", it's her dad 🙄

OP it was a very fraught time, understandably, both of you acted equally in the wrong, it is best to put it aside and move on.

Valid8me · 06/12/2022 13:15

That was a very long-winded way of saying 'My recently bereaved dad, who separated from my mum when I was small and now lives 100 miles away, was angry when he arranged to meet me and my sister for lunch and he discovered that I had bought my mum along with me'.

I'm not sure how your grandad's funeral has got anything to do with it but I can see why your dad might have wanted to meet you, your baby and your sister without your mum being there. Why did your mum want to tag along? That seems odd to me.

MrsWhites · 06/12/2022 13:35

Doesn’t matter who it is, dad or not, nobody has the right to speak to you like that.

Telling you privately that he would have preferred it to just be you and your sister is fine, it is a bit odd that she wanted to tag along but to carry on shouting and behaving aggressively in a public place is never acceptable. He hasn’t even apologised for his behaviour so why should the OP reach out to him?

SilverTotoro · 06/12/2022 14:37

Grief can make people act in all sorts of unpleasant ways. However, yelling at you while you were feeding your child over a misunderstanding isn’t acceptable. That even given time and space he cannot see this and seems to have also influenced your Nana is unpleasant in a way that goes beyond grief being a reasonable excuse.

You’ve also mentioned that your father has behaved like this before. As it’s repeat behaviour I wouldn’t be inclined to reach out and apologise. I would however probably still send a Christmas card / gift if you usually do to keep the door open. I would also write to your Nana - not mentioning the visit but telling her you are thinking of her, love her and would welcome hearing from her at anytime.

Derbee · 06/12/2022 14:41

Well it was clearly inappropriate to take your mum along. Bizarre that you can’t see that…

However, his behaviour isn’t justified.

I wouldn’t contact him if I were you. Just because someone is related l to you, doesn’t mean you need to accept bad treatment from them. You wouldn’t allow a friend to shout at you in the street and upset your baby/sister etc. So why allow it from him?

MrsTerryPratchett · 06/12/2022 14:47

both of you acted equally in the wrong

No. OP acted clumsily bringing her mum, but resolved it quickly.

Her dad repeatedly shouted at her in the street while she was caring for a baby.

I would call/see nana though.

Eskarina1 · 06/12/2022 14:50

I'm not sure grief alone can be used to justify a lengthy public yelling at a young, vulnerable (recently fled DA) woman who is in tears.

I think where you are and where he is at the moment it may be safer to let him be for now. You don't need this.

Keyansier · 06/12/2022 14:55

MrsTerryPratchett · 06/12/2022 14:47

both of you acted equally in the wrong

No. OP acted clumsily bringing her mum, but resolved it quickly.

Her dad repeatedly shouted at her in the street while she was caring for a baby.

I would call/see nana though.

The OP is feeling vulnerable and upset so I'm not going to make out a list, but the OP did a number of things wrong in this situation and doesn't come out of this innocent at all IMO.

Mrsjayy · 06/12/2022 14:57

You are not children anymore your mum and dad don't have to get along for your sake he wanted to see you without her, why did she think it was OK to tag along. Saying all that your dad shouldn't have shouted at you about it all but I can see why he was upset. Contact him by all means but don't over apologise for .the misunderstanding.

catandcoffee · 06/12/2022 15:08

Why on earth did your Mum want to come ?
I can't understand her reasoning.

I'd contact him OP and keep all future meetings between you,Dad and sister.

Grief has no rules.

GracePooleslaugh · 06/12/2022 15:09

I don't think he was justified to react the way he did and I wouldn't be grovelling to him for forgiveness.

I can understand he wanted to see you without your mother but you apologised and after that he was just nasty. What more did he expect you to do? If he was OTT because of his dad I would expect he would get in touch to apologise when he realised how horrible he had been.

I wouldn't be making any effort with him again unless I got a serious apology.

MrsTerryPratchett · 06/12/2022 15:11

Grief has no rules.

But fatherhood does. Don't shout at your DD (a victim of DA) in the street while she's caring for your GC and ends up in tears. That's a rule.

My father wouldn't have done this after he lost his beloved mother, whose death he has never recovered from.

Willowswood · 06/12/2022 15:12

Why did you think it was appropriate for your mum to go along? Very strange. Why did your mum invite herself?

Waxxy · 06/12/2022 15:15

Yes it was a bit weird to invite your mum, my dad wouldn't have been happy if I did this and rightly so, but no way can I ever imagine him shouting at me until I cried and then continuing. Sorry if I've missed anything as didn't get to the end of your post. I wish mumsnet had a tldr rule like reddit does!

BMW6 · 06/12/2022 15:25

You were in the wrong inviting your Mum along, but your Dad will not accept your many apologies. Your Nan is reliant on your Dad so us in thrall to his demands.

Your Dad is grieving, probably irrational in his grief.

It's all a huge emotional traumatic mess atm.

You haven't been in contact for 3 months. As Xmas is close I suggest you send him a lovely card, with a short letter. Apologise once more, tell him you love him and hope he will be in touch. Then leave it up to him.

Introvertedbuthappy · 06/12/2022 15:29

If I've read this right, it sounds like you live with your Mum? In which case your Mum was wrong to invite herself along and you shouldn't have let her push in.

Your Dad should not have shouted at you, but I think it was incredibly unfair not to tell him things had changed. To him, he knows you live with your Mum yet to him it would have seemed like he wasn't special enough to just have lunch with, given that you felt the need to invite your Mum too (he won't have known that she invited herself). You then kind of proved him right by having her husband come pick you up (of course, I realise it was due to his shouting, but that's not how he will have seen it).

I think, given that he's travelled to see you, it would have been nice to spend some time just with him. If you think your Mum would have been unhappy with that, it's worth unpicking why.

Perhaps send him and your grandma a Christmas card and see what happens.

Merryoldgoat · 06/12/2022 15:31

I don’t care who they are - no one would speak to me like that.

Merryoldgoat · 06/12/2022 15:32

Sorry - posted too soon

YANBU OP and I suspect you know that deep down. Parents like him are not worth having.

IcakethereforeIam · 06/12/2022 15:37

He might have been justified in being upset by seeing your mum, but that was resolved to what should have been his satisfaction at the time and you apologised. You weren't unreasonable imo to bring your mum. You couldn't have known he would react like that. He should have accepted your apology and moved on. He was unreasonable to carry on and on and on.

Perhaps he was still affected by the death of his dad or there was some other circumstances or trigger that might explain, but not excuse, his behaviour.

However, it seems though if this is allowed to continue you may also lose contact with your nana as well as your father.

Perhaps write a letter, or Christmas card, not to apologise (you've already done that) but to set out your stall for if he's ready to resume contact.

Nirvanarama · 06/12/2022 16:02

He was totally out of order, however given that he is grieving, I would reach out to him this once and give him the chance to apologise. If he still keeps behaving badly towards you then at least you tried, the ball is in his court then.

jackstini · 06/12/2022 16:11

It was a terrible idea to bring your Mum, especially at such an upsetting time. You should have at least asked; but you were grieving and hormonal with new baby and didn't think

He should never have shouted at you the way he did, and may even be embarrassed about it now; but he was in a very emotional state - grieving for his Dad, trying to support his Mum, looking forward to seeing you and new grand-baby - and then your Mum being there unexpectedly possibly sent him over the edge

I would reach out, if you want him to be in your and dc lives.
He treated you badly and he needs to own that; but if you think you can have a good relationship going forward then don't throw the chance away

saturdaymorningbored · 06/12/2022 18:54

Your dad was wrong for behaving like that, there's no excuse, but why on earth did your mum tag along? I think that was really inappropriate but again doesn't justify your dads behaviour either

FTMChar · 06/12/2022 19:54

Thanks for your responses everyone, it’s been helpful to gain some outside perspective. I think I’ll be sending both Dad and Nana a Xmas card to reach out and see what happens. Thank you x

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