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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To want a traditional nativity play for once?

117 replies

Shutthegatepeter · 06/12/2022 10:02

This week my son has his nativity. He has already done a dress rehearsal that parents could attend so I’ve seen it, his ‘proper’ performance is on Friday evening. It’s very cute and the kids and teachers have done a great effort so I do appreciate it, it’s certainly better than no nativity at all like during covid. But I’ve noticed with all 3 of my children now that they never do a traditional nativity anymore. One year my eldest daughter didn’t do a nativity they did a ‘Christmas play’ instead with Santa and dancing teddy bears, no Mary and Joseph. Another year my middle child was a spaceman who travelled to a Christmas planet, there was a brief mention of the birth of Jesus but no Mary, Joseph, shepherds etc. This year my youngest is a Christmas tree, there is a Mary and Joseph and a basic nativity story, but there’s breakdancing kings and they sing Bruno Mars I think I want to marry you. There’s no silent night, no away in a manger. None of my 3 children know away in a manger because they’ve never sang it in their nativities, they’re always trying to spice it up and modernise it and make it different. I appreciate the thought and maybe as a one off one year it’d be nice to see something different, but it’s every year and now none of my 3 have ever done a normal nativity. I want to hear away in a manger, not Bruno mars! I’m not even religious 😂 Has anyone else had a traditional nativity or are they a thing of the past now?

OP posts:

Cleopatra67 · 06/12/2022 17:01

I’m with you. Mine are grown up now but first school did proper traditional nativities with lovely music. We moved and new school did cheesy ones with grown up jokes . I’m an atheist but the Christmas story is a beautiful one and I much prefer old school.

riotlady · 06/12/2022 17:30

DD is doing “the wriggly nativity” which seems like a good balance of traditional with some cute songs for them to dance to. Although I assume they’ve still run into the “too few parts” problem as one of her friends is the back end of a camel (DD is a shepherd and very insistent on looking after her “lamps”)

Sockwomble · 06/12/2022 17:40

I remember doing 'only a baby' at primary school in about 1980 so the non traditional nativity has been around a long time.

DavesSpareDeckChair · 06/12/2022 22:32

When I was at school we did a traditional nativity once or twice, then loads of pantomimes the other years, which seemed to keep everyone happy.
I'm just amused/confused trying to picture nativity plays featuring Michael Jackson, Adolf Hitler, and Mary slapping people

Yadaah · 07/12/2022 16:02

So essentially you want to exclude those children and families that don’t celebrate Christmas so you can have what YOU consider “normal”?

Unfortunately for you this IS the new normal. A more inclusive normal because schools are now more inclusive irrespective of faith denominations now.

if you would really like your own children to be involved in the type of nativity that you like, then I would suggest you go to church and have them join the Sunday school (do those even still exist?) and that way it will be exactly (or as close too) what you want.

moaning about how it’s not what you want to see shows that you have only considered what you alone feel is important and not about the others within your school community.

LadyChamberlain · 07/12/2022 16:21

I've just this week watched a traditional nativity at a non-church school.

TheLette · 07/12/2022 16:26

Depends on the school. I'm actually pretty annoyed that my daughter's non-religious school is doing a traditional, frankly quite evangelical nativity. We expressly chose a non-religious school; otherwise we would have sent her to one of the three more conveniently located religious schools. I haven't seen it yet but the songs she is singing from it do sound quite evangelical. I would be fine with a light touch nativity play which is about the nativity story but don't see the need for songs about 'glory to god' etc. There are also a lot of children from other religious (non-christian) backgrounds in the class.

treacletoffee23 · 07/12/2022 16:31

I love to see The Traditional Nativity in school. It seems to have become so diluted in case of causing offence- l also like to celebrate other Religious events in school from other Faiths

Benjispruce4 · 07/12/2022 16:32

Is it a non C of E school? Ours is COf E so it’s a traditional nativity for key stage 1 and a play around the nativity story for the older ones in ks2.

SirenSays · 07/12/2022 16:34

There's only like 8 roles in the traditional nativity and we had 30+ children in my class at school. The same kids got the roles every year and the rest of us were bored angels desperately wishing for it to be over.

TheStarLady · 07/12/2022 18:18

I’m not Christian and live in a very multicultural area.

Our school does the traditional nativity for nursery, reception and year 1. After that they do other stores related to Christmas or a Carol concert.

I loved seeing my children in the nativity! It feels sad if schools feel they can’t do it in order to be inclusive. I don’t actually know anyone who would be offended at all. I know people of all faiths and everyone was happy and proud for their DC to participate.

Oh and it’s an excuse to say there aren’t enough parts. We had lots of stars, angels, shepherds and animals - all the children got to dress up as something and go on stage. Not everyone had speaking parts but all would participate with singing.

Knittingnanny2 · 07/12/2022 18:32

I’m retired from infant teaching now and at various points during the year I get nostalgic for some of the “ special events”. As the piano lady it was my responsibility to organise Harvest, Easter, Christmas etc. It’s really tricky to put on Nativities for 6/8 however many classes there are. So usually a whole school “ show” .

The Christmas play always ended up with a stable tableau, but as others have said, a limited number of roles! So dancing angels, lost shepherds, singing camels, amazing birds etc have to be written in to accommodate everyone.

Ive lost count of how many adults told me that their daughter should play Mary.

drivinghomeforchristmascraic · 07/12/2022 18:41

I'm with you, my son can hone with a main part for the Christmas play (that haven't done a whole school one before) and he us some randomer. Not Joseph.
I miss the kids dropping the baby Jesus doll.
I miss the tea towels on a head for the 3 Kings.
I miss the Christmas songs.
I miss the tinsel halos for the angels.
I'm going to look online to see if my local churches have a nativity going on. I don't even care of its not my kids. That's what Christmas is all about!

I do put the hymns on YouTube though and belt them out with my kids. I even go as far as to listen to other hymns I sung at school.
I bloody love hymns!

Alexiii · 08/12/2022 00:56

I was really shocked that there's companies where you buy the rights to their plays (such as out of the ark). I always thought it was really cool how the DCs school came up with these really mad scripts themselves, complete with music 😅 i think (maybe I'm being generous) that the reason so many of the plays make fuck-all sense is because the number of parts can vary depending on class size, so if it's a small year they'll just not have some parts. We have had some dreadful plays in the past, a kind of play-within-a-play, which is the nativity. nobody knew what was going on. Something to do with a granny being lonely? Another year there was a song about Herod and all the reception class were understandably very upset singing about him. They had to do a circle time. It's only reception to y2 who do nativity, year 3 upwards do carols which is much less exciting for the children and adults alike 😑

dottypencilcase · 08/12/2022 01:16

My twins go to a single sex preschool and did a traditional nativity earlier this week- it was adorable. One of mine was a king and the other a shepherd. We live in a diverse area and are non- white and 100% not Christian. I loved the play and my children sang all the songs like they'd heard them all their lives!

BoreOfWhabylon · 08/12/2022 01:45

I love a traditional nativity!

BoreOfWhabylon · 08/12/2022 01:47

Damn, wrong clip! Should have been this one

allfurcoatnoknickers · 08/12/2022 02:03

I was in a space travel nativity at School and I'm 36! It was about aliens travelling through time (while singing "Starlight Express") to see Christmas in various different time periods and the Nativity was the one they finally visited at the end and learned the true meaning of Christmas, or something. I think I played Sir Francis Drake 😂or maybe Sir Walter Raleigh.

I was also a Hula dancer in one and I'm still annoyed I didn't get to be an angel and wear a tinsel halo.

Oh and there was the time I was a peacock present at the birth of Christ.

So I guess what I'm saying is weird Nativity plays are pretty much old enough to be a tradition in and of themselves? I know our local church does a traditional one every year, but the school plays continue to be a bit oddball.

GloomyDarkness · 08/12/2022 13:51

I do put the hymns on YouTube though and belt them out with my kids. I even go as far as to listen to other hymns I sung at school.
I bloody love hymns!

I've just found I can get Alexa to play Christmas hymns with Amazon music.

I was half listening to thought of the day on Radio 4 this morning and speaker was saying they'd been to three traditional Christmas carol services and nearly all had included modern pop songs - so it's probably some wider cultural trend away from hymns and carols.

GloomyDarkness · 08/12/2022 13:57

I also fondly remember Christingle services with oranges and dolly mixes and candles and sometime cloves though no clue what it was all about also done at end of term at my C of E primary.

Many have told me in RL they never encountered it and DC C of E school never did it and was I sure it was a thing.

Bunsandtophats · 08/12/2022 14:05

For me personally It's so sad to hear this is happening...

PeterRabbitHadACarrot · 08/12/2022 14:10

I don't think religion has a place in regular state schools. Religious state schools I can understand but whole other thread about how some people may not have a choice.
I don't think there should be any religious plays at all, great some schools are moving away from that. I'm sure churches would set something up for a traditional play thry can work on in Sunday school if there were enough interest.

Cam22 · 08/12/2022 14:12

Christmas is a Christian celebration so of course the Nativity plays should be traditional i.e. Christian. It annoys me so much that Christian celebrations are almost banned for fear of distressing this group or that. In fact, it’s patronising to pretend to give way when other religious festivals are celebrated. No one would dare to suggest they be given up.

Helpwithdaughterpls · 08/12/2022 14:38

YABU

In the nativity, a power-crazed male deity forces a young girl to have his baby. Basically rape.

Another male leader forces her to travel to another city on a donkey.

After a male innkeeper won't let a woman In labour into his home, she gives birth in dangerous conditions.

after which, whilst trying to establish breastfeeding more men visit, without consent.

It's a storey of abuse by power crazed men and is absolutely not suitable for children.

And we wonder why men grow up entitled!!!

Bunsandtophats · 08/12/2022 14:52