WWYD - 8 year old never asks me anything

[ScotlandEuropa]

My eldest daughter has just turned eight.

I feel we are close, we have a good relationship. She can be a bit of a closed book (I think that’s just her nature) but she does chat to me. Tells me about her day, tells me when something has upset her etc. I am always careful to take her seriously and make sure I am listening to her.

I’m probably overthinking things. But I’ve noticed that she never asks me any questions. She hasn’t ever asked questions along the lines of how babies are made. Hasn’t asked me about Santa not being real etc. I mean they must be talking about this sort of thing in the playground. She must hear things. i don’t think I’ve ever given off a vibe that she can’t ask me stuff, but maybe I have without realising.

She is quite a “young” eight. Her sister is six and they are close, play a lot of the same games together etc. i like that she is young (many of her peers seem so grown up in comparison) but I also dont want to baby her. I don’t want her wondering and worrying about things.

So I mean…do I just tell her the stuff like Santa isn’t real? Or do I wait till she asks? WWYD?

Does she get time to chat to just you without her sister there? If there’s something you particularly want to talk about maybe you could bring it up. Watch a film or read a book with the topic in it then discuss it etc. I find kids bring things up in their own way most of the time - maybe she’s just not a questioner! She may be one of those deep thinkers who works everything over in her own mind. If on the flip side she may be one of those zen types who just accepts things as they are and doesn’t overthink them.

Kids mature at different ages. Certainly don’t go spoiling Santa for her at 8 years old ffs, what the hell will that achieve other than destroy her if she truly believes.

Why not start asking her questions about things then ask if there’s anything she wants to ask you? Let her develop, maybe she’s just not inquisitive or actually does believe things are as they seem so no need to question it. Those people do exist in life….

Maybe she's figuring things out for herself or simply hasn't been particularly interested in those things yet. She probably does ask you questions, but about more mundane things and not the 'big' questions you're looking forward to answering.

I didn't ask my parents about those things for what it's worth, I learned about them from older kids. Didn't seem worth checking facts with Mum when it would have involved an awkward conversation.

Ooh she is a deep thinker. That rings very true. She’s bookish and clever and quite logical/pragmatic (she’s very like my husband).

I wasn’t planning on wrecking Santa for her but I kind of get the feeling that she already knows (keeping her sister out of the room where I keep presents, without questioning me on it).

Yes I try to give her one on one time. Not as often as I’d like but I do try.

It’s not so much that I’m “looking forward” to answering the questions. I guess it’s just that I don’t want her to be confused and questioning things and feeling like she can’t come to me.

not sure if helpful but my DD is just very different in terms of looking at the outside world and asking questions than her younger brother. And we dont stress too much if they develop differently. Thought it’s easy to!

But we did do some ‘oh I the mummy have some questions about this or that..let’s think about them together’ to encourage her too