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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to ask you to tell me how you feel about being a stay at home mum. being a stay at home mum.

14 replies

Freelancestayathomemum · 05/12/2022 22:36

Stay at home mums. I am a stay at home mum. How do you feel and what do you think about being a stay at home mum.

OP posts:
Cuddlywuddlies · 05/12/2022 22:41

I stayed home for 6 years…honestly…I hated it by the 3rd/4th year. I found it monotonous and Tiring, I felt so lonely and nothing like the person I wanted to be. So I went back to work ASAP and I way prefer the balance

randomsabreuse · 05/12/2022 22:46

Hated it, had a few very part time jobs around DH's work then relocated to be a full time SAHM in Covid times. Finally got a proper part time job started today and feel so much more alive.

Everyone is different, this is just my opinion...

Meadowland · 05/12/2022 23:21

Hated it too. Was so much happier when I went back to work, and my dcs benefitted from having a happier mum.

quietnightmare · 05/12/2022 23:25

Loved every second of it but I had a very easy child who barely cried and played on their own for a good half hour a couple of times a day while I did chores in the same room. My job was very intense think in call ALL THE TIME so being a SAHM with an easy baby was lovely. I went to so many baby groups and made loads of friends and my husband did his fair share of childcare and housework.

DontBuyANewMumCashmere · 05/12/2022 23:27

I was lucky to be able to take an unpaid career break meaning I had the leave but also the security of having a job to return to.
After my first child's mat leave I took 2.5 years break (3.5 total SAHMing) then worked a year PT before having second child and taking a total of 3.2 years off for him.

So in the last 8 years I've had nearly 7 years off.

I absolutely loved it. I was lucky to have a well earning husband and was able to see it as a very fortunate time for our family.

I have recently returned to work again PT and I am very happy. Both kids are having to adjust - but this is life, my attitude is they've had it golden for the last few years and this is the reality for most families!

I did have other interests, time for hobbies, did some voluntary work and I made it work for me. It's definitely not for everyone but I really enjoyed it.

Jumpking · 05/12/2022 23:29

I had seven wonderful years at home with my two. Some days and weeks were harder than others. Financially it was tighter than tight. Knocked my career back by several years.

Wouldn't change it for anything. The end goal was achieved of being the person who saw their children for the lions share of every day while they were under 5.

SouperNoodle · 05/12/2022 23:31

I've been a SAHM for nearly 5 years now and I love it. Some days are harder than others but I wouldn't change it for the world.

stayathomer · 05/12/2022 23:31

I stayed at home for ten years and I adored it but it was lonely and I only recognise that since. Also Thinking back on it now I was silly about it in that I never thought of our money as our money- just his, even though he said he wouldn’t be able to earn without me being with the kids (my whole wage and more used to go on childcare). Also I didn’t join in with friends’ conversations when they talked about work as I felt I had nothing to say. Working now and I love it but miss some parts of staying at home. I think whatever suits

Coconutcream123 · 05/12/2022 23:31

I've enjoyed it and wouldn't change it for the world, however I've only done it for an extra year and did some temp work too and studying. The plan is to go back to work when child ren are 3 and 18 months

Risslan · 05/12/2022 23:39

Was only sahm for 2 years before returning to work PT whilst DH also went PT , and it was a career break so no worries about finding a job when I was ready.

I hated it but had a very difficult baby (asd) and ptsd altho I didn't know it at the time.

I had never planned to stay off work past ML but baby was obviously better with me than in care and gps couldn't cope.

Whilst it was hell and in all honesty has taken a lot away from my life and mh I do not regret it for a minute. Given how serious his sen apparently is he is remarkably well balanced and an absolutely lovely person. I am positive if I hadn't been able to meet his needs as well as we did he'd be a very different boy.

CoffeeInTheClouds · 05/12/2022 23:45

I am incredibly thankful that I was able to spend 12 years at home with my two. I did do a bit of work for my Husband's business in that time, but being able to prioritise the family's needs while the children were little is something I value more than anything.

There have been sacrifices: financial, career, etc. but nothing that would change the choices we made if we were to do it all over again. As well as allowing my husband to focus on his career, I have been able to get involved in school, church, charity work and study that I wouldn't otherwise have had the time for.

norwichmummy123 · 05/12/2022 23:50

Been one for nine years and love it

Marytherese · 05/12/2022 23:53

I love it but I also do freelance work so it's not my whole life IYSWIM.

wellstopdoingitthen · 06/12/2022 00:05

I went PT after my first child. I could move my days so I always went to sports days, natively etc. I didn't have any family nearby so I also had to pay a childminder. When my second child was about 6 I became a SAHM as I was frequently being called into school as he had a medical condition. I stayed at home for 4 years & I (mostly) loved it. Hated not having my own money (husband insisted his money was mine too but I wanted to earn it myself). Went back PT until youngest went off to uni then increased my hours to FT. I work in a school so still get the school holidays (worked in education for many years). Husband would love me to retire but I couldn't think of anything worse at the moment.

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