Page 22 | To think that most people actually do understand, and therefore support, home education...

PennyRa · 2022-12-05T21:59:25+00:00

And it's just a loud minority that are ignorant?

SpicyFoodRocks · 07/12/2022 08:20

ConstableGoody · 06/12/2022 21:42

I home ed my son because I have no other choice. He was in an ofsted rated good school, with small classes. He has autism with PDA, dyslexia, dyspraxia, speech delay and disorder, and sensory processing issues. They were simply unable to teach him.

They told me ‘he is fine when he is here’ alllllll the time when I dragged him in kicking and screaming (he and the other children would tell me he had stayed in his chair crying all day). They freely admitted he wasn’t able to access any learning but said not to worry because his behaviour was fine. When I removed him in year 3 he did not know the alphabet, could not hold a pen and could not read. He was miserable all the time, withdrawn at home (he would go home and go to bed immediately) and had no interest in socialising in any way. He only wanted to be left alone and asked how he could kill himself.

After 18 months at home he is reading at the expected level for his age, despite his dyslexia. He can hold a pen and write legibly (at the bottom end of what would be expected for his age). He knows his times tables and is working on algebra in maths. He engages with his specialist maths/English tutor ever week, he has an engineering tutor (and can fit a radiator), he has an art tutor, a music teacher and socialises with other children (all day at forest school one day, has regular sleep overs and play dates with his old friends and he attends multiple clubs with other children). He is a different child to a year ago and is keen to try adding another day at a flexi school into what he does and talks a lot about when he goes to college and university.

Yes he is odd, and proud of it. He flaps his hands, he makes hooting noises when he is excited and he still needs help to get dressed but he is making amazing progress. We are not religious, or too lazy to do the school run, or anti vaxers, or anti authority, we do not have a problem with registering our sons birth, we welcome visits from the home Ed team at the council! We are post graduate educated professionals. we just want our child to learn and be happy and this is what works best for him right now.

Sounds like a great outcome for you.

Did you have to give up work?

Nevermindthesquirrels · 07/12/2022 08:25

@CowsInFields I know what it is and that it can work. I also know that lots of home ed parents read posts like yours and think it's ok for their child not to do anything remotely academic all day and they'll end up with kids smarter than those in school.
Autonomous learning takes so much time, patience and resources to do well. It's brilliant but it's very hard work. It is not going to appointments and playing with crystals whilst mum and dad sit on Facebook slating other parents for cooperating with the local home ed team.
As kids get older schools do lots to promote learner autonomy. It's not just in home ed.

Nevermindthesquirrels · 07/12/2022 08:28

@CowsInFields Also, ending up at Oxbridge is not a proof of best outcome.

ConstableGoody · 07/12/2022 08:28

@SpicyFoodRocks Thanks, so far it is working well.

Luckily (or not depending on your view!) I wasn’t working anyway because my son has been so high needs that I decided to stay at home until he is a bit older… he also has a chronic health issue so doctor’s appointments combined with school refusal etc meant it was just easier for one of us to be at home.

CowsInFields · 07/12/2022 08:33

@Gagglestaggerhome that's great that the system is able to provide for your child. That is not reflective of all the schools, I wouldn't send any child to the local modern secondary, below average, special measures, pretty rubbish for an educational institute.

At the rate we are losing teachers, I honestly won't be surprised if home ed is more common in the next 10 years, and just as home schooling is more acceptable in USA, it will be here too.

Nevermindthesquirrels · 07/12/2022 08:38

@Sherrystrull That was me. I don't think it was meant to be lazy, and I don't think the teachers teaching it are, not the SLT finalising it.
However, I think the govt has stuffed so much into it, together with lack of resources, bulging classes, that the end result has created planning to try and fit everything. This is not representative of all. This is just what I noticed but most topics in early years/KS1 are different religious celebrations. I understand we need tolerant kids but I don't think it's appropriate at that age not to mention how disrespectful it is towards the parents beliefs and confusing for a small child. You can teach children about other religions but at that age you're really limited to showing them how people celebrate and things they eat, songs they sing, trips to their church etc which inadvertently means you're forcing them to take part in collective worship.
Schools should be secular and politically neutral. They should enable all kids from all walks of life to take part in all activities.
I don't blame the schools. They are doing what they can with the hand they've been dealt. It's difficult to stay politically neutral when the govt is treating schools the way it is.

CowsInFields · 07/12/2022 08:40

@Nevermindthesquirrels I don't expect people to take the word of some random poster online, I do expect these parents to read books and research what it entails (authors such as John Holt are a good start). I also expect they'll understand child development, look further into child learning and psychology. That is what I've seen in my local home Ed community.

There is no denying, children will be missed, just as abuse cases of schooled children are missed. But I do believe it is dangerous to paint everyone with the same brush.

I mentioned oxbridge because according to most, that indicates a great education has been provided.

Nevermindthesquirrels · 07/12/2022 08:48

@CowsInFields That's great your local home ed community is like this. Sadly ours isn't and I wish they educated themselves more before picking and choosing unschooling quotes to defend their ignorance. It does no favours to the movement. My sister has had to leave the local groups and I genuinely hope those kids will get picked up on by the LA. I am sad for those kids. To me these are the same families that caused issues at school. Now they treat the LA the same.
John Holt is really interesting. Young children learning is a great book too. It is brilliant if implemented well, just takes a lot of trust, patience and resources.

ConstableGoody · 07/12/2022 09:23

@Nevermindthesquirrels it sounds like your/your sisters home Ed community is a bit like ours. Someone asked in a group the other day about when the ehe team from the council will visit after she unrolled her son and it was 2 people saying ‘usually in about 6 weeks, call this number if you want to chase it up’ and 73 people saying ‘they can’t just turn up! Take back the power! Don’t cooperate!’ Etc. Then someone asked a question about accessing flu vaccine for HE kids and 4 people flounced out because we should be an ‘awake group’ ffs.

Then there are all the ultra religious ones (of all faiths) who won’t associate with us because I’m gay, and the “little Jimmy is a genius, that’s why he got thrown out of gymnastics class” It’s bloody madness.

Interestingly the special needs home Ed community is all (as far as I’ve met) people who are doing what they are as best they can because school has failed their child and places in special schools are like hens teeth.

Please don’t tar us all with the same brush- I’m not hiding my son, I don’t think he is a free thinking unrecognised genius and I don’t believe any conspiracy theories!

Nevermindthesquirrels · 07/12/2022 09:31

@ConstableGoody Yup. Sounds about right. There's also the atheists who won't associate with the religious ones. It's all very school playground.
I agree, the SEN parents seem the most ordinary and kind. My niece's don't have SEN so it's been very difficult to find them NT friends with ordinary parents. They've just got there though and are really enjoying it now.
Some of the replies here have been lovely to read, most of what sounds like normal home ed families.

BuffaloCauliflower · 07/12/2022 12:26

@ConstableGoody I hope I find the people like you when we started home educating 🙂

ConstableGoody · 07/12/2022 12:55

@BuffaloCauliflower do you want to give a vague area of the country? We might be near each other!

MusicstillonMTV · 07/12/2022 13:29

Nevermindthesquirrels · 07/12/2022 08:38

@Sherrystrull That was me. I don't think it was meant to be lazy, and I don't think the teachers teaching it are, not the SLT finalising it.
However, I think the govt has stuffed so much into it, together with lack of resources, bulging classes, that the end result has created planning to try and fit everything. This is not representative of all. This is just what I noticed but most topics in early years/KS1 are different religious celebrations. I understand we need tolerant kids but I don't think it's appropriate at that age not to mention how disrespectful it is towards the parents beliefs and confusing for a small child. You can teach children about other religions but at that age you're really limited to showing them how people celebrate and things they eat, songs they sing, trips to their church etc which inadvertently means you're forcing them to take part in collective worship.
Schools should be secular and politically neutral. They should enable all kids from all walks of life to take part in all activities.
I don't blame the schools. They are doing what they can with the hand they've been dealt. It's difficult to stay politically neutral when the govt is treating schools the way it is.

Why is it disrespectful to the parents? Or confusing to the children?

My year 1 child hasn't been confused at all, he understands that we are atheists but that many people believe in different religions. I don't feel at all disrespected either.

Thelnebriati · 07/12/2022 13:46

I think my bottom line is if you are using the standard of argument that ''people who criticise a thing are loud and ignorant'', do you think you are making a good case for home schooling?

Nevermindthesquirrels · 07/12/2022 16:32

@MusicstillonMTV Because it's really difficult to teach the nuisances of people's beliefs to small children so they mainly cover celebrations and as part of that, they replicate them in classrooms. For many religious and atheist people that's worship. That's disrespectful to people's beliefs. It's also confusing to a child if they're being taught at home that according to their religion something is bad but they're expected to do it at school.
I have nothing against it when they're older and can actually talk about it.
There's so many brilliant topics you can do that don't involve celebrations and people's beliefs. Also, you don't have to replicate a religious observance to teach a child to be respectful and accepting.

Sherrystrull · 07/12/2022 18:26

Nevermindthesquirrels · 07/12/2022 16:32

@MusicstillonMTV Because it's really difficult to teach the nuisances of people's beliefs to small children so they mainly cover celebrations and as part of that, they replicate them in classrooms. For many religious and atheist people that's worship. That's disrespectful to people's beliefs. It's also confusing to a child if they're being taught at home that according to their religion something is bad but they're expected to do it at school.
I have nothing against it when they're older and can actually talk about it.
There's so many brilliant topics you can do that don't involve celebrations and people's beliefs. Also, you don't have to replicate a religious observance to teach a child to be respectful and accepting.

When is the last time you taught ks1?

I have taught ks1 for twenty years and never taught celebrations by replicating one.

LolaSmiles · 07/12/2022 18:26

CowsInFields
I'm a teacher and planning my exit like many of my colleagues. There was a good thread by NobleGiraffe recently about the reality of what's going on in many schools. If people read it they would be a lot less confident in arguing that most schools are best for most children.

I share the general consensus on this thread that some unschooling home education approaches aren't appropriate and that there should be a register though.

If DH and I aren't happy with our local schools then we would home educate because we believe we would offer a better, more appropriate, more rounded education than what is on offer at some schools.

LlareggubTripAdviser · 07/12/2022 20:27

To answer the OPs question it is this...

Home Ed is absolutely the right thing for particular children. In fact it's the best.

However, the vast majority on here are responsible, educated, engaged parents that want the best for their kids in their unique circumstances... and provide it. They go into it with thought and research. Socialisation is not an issue because they set up networks that feed into the best results they can get. I have met many home Ed kids who are fabulous, switched on, bright beyond their years and easily switch to sixth form/uni because of the work their amazing (mainly) mothers have achieved.....

But but but... there is a HUGE but.

I work in the field of modern slavery (fancy word for exploitation) .. the LACK of regulation is not just worrying but a massive issue.

If I were allowed I could give you horror stories that run from drunk abusive parents who simply can't be arsed to get up in the morning, to those that punt their kids out for cleaning, housemaid services and sexual abuse... with NO CHECKS ...

THAT is the issue. Not the 97% who are doing the right thing for their kids but the 3% who aren't,,, (3% is a LOT of kids btw)

Nevermindthesquirrels · 07/12/2022 22:43

@Sherrystrull That's great. You don't need to be rude, I'm merely explaining my experience. Also most schools don't replice a religious festival but do parts of it. Eg learning the songs, dance food etc. There's a reason those festivals are so important in religion, they're part of worship. I never said I have a problem with this anyway, but the volume of it is overwhelming. My nephew is in reception and every single class book this term has been on a religious celebration. The same is planned for next term but spring religious festivals. Even if you're not replicating a festival, what the hell happened to the very hungry Caterpillar or the tons of other great, appropriate books.
This isn't just his school. Same happened in the schools I worked in on the other side of the city. My daughter's school when she was in primary.
Reception curriculum seems to be one big celebration. Same with Y1 and 2. First term is Christmas, second is Easter, Diwali and Eid whenever they fall as well as Kwanza and others. With some secular books thrown in the mix.
I have nothing against this if it's a small part. I'm not even one of the parents that would pull their kids out of these activities but tons do get pulled out and it's not fair on them or their parents beliefs. Schools should be secular and neutral.

Sherrystrull · 07/12/2022 22:52

Nevermindthesquirrels · 07/12/2022 22:43

@Sherrystrull That's great. You don't need to be rude, I'm merely explaining my experience. Also most schools don't replice a religious festival but do parts of it. Eg learning the songs, dance food etc. There's a reason those festivals are so important in religion, they're part of worship. I never said I have a problem with this anyway, but the volume of it is overwhelming. My nephew is in reception and every single class book this term has been on a religious celebration. The same is planned for next term but spring religious festivals. Even if you're not replicating a festival, what the hell happened to the very hungry Caterpillar or the tons of other great, appropriate books.
This isn't just his school. Same happened in the schools I worked in on the other side of the city. My daughter's school when she was in primary.
Reception curriculum seems to be one big celebration. Same with Y1 and 2. First term is Christmas, second is Easter, Diwali and Eid whenever they fall as well as Kwanza and others. With some secular books thrown in the mix.
I have nothing against this if it's a small part. I'm not even one of the parents that would pull their kids out of these activities but tons do get pulled out and it's not fair on them or their parents beliefs. Schools should be secular and neutral.

I wasn't being rude. I was explaining my experience.

When was the last time you taught ks1? If it's a while ago then I was explaining how your experiences are no longer the case in schools.

Sherrystrull · 07/12/2022 22:54

Your nephews school sounds strange in their choice of books. I pride myself on choosing a selection of authors and themes. I would question a school that only uses religious books of a certain type.

Nevermindthesquirrels · 07/12/2022 23:39

@Sherrystrull I've never taught KS1. I left schools a while ago and only do private dyslexia work on top of my completely out of education day job. But I tend to work within the child's lesson content and most of my kids are in y2/3. I don't have much to do with Reception and Y1 though as my work tends to start once the kids are 6/7 so this is all just from observation and experience.
I agree, it is poor and I know it's not like this everywhere. I've mostly seen it in free schools and academies. I feel sorry for the teachers. They try very hard but its often pre prepared lesson plans by the higher ups, things ordered in bulk to all academies to cut costs and a tick box exercise that all content of framework has been met. It's depressing.

Sidking · 08/12/2022 00:55

Not rtft

I wanted to home ed my eldest, from 2 we joined some younger HE groups and did have that as our plan.

Then he went to nursery and thrived, and I realised that I, a self employed person with limited funds and (at the time) reliant on 1 an hour buses into town just couldn't provide the same learning experiences. So he started school with HE as a backup option if it didn't suit him (I was very much into the crunchy mum scene at the time and home/world/unschooling was a big part of the culture)

He does fine at school, he's never expressed a wish not to go to school. He enjoyed lockdown but it proved to me that home ed would absolutely not fit in around my work.

In an ideal world we would win the lottery/have a passive income stream enough to live nomadically and home ed on the go, with all day to explore museums and tailor the curriculum to fit their interests. But we can't so school it is.

Lifelessordinary1 · 08/12/2022 03:07

I Home Educated my children and now my Grandchildren are Home Educated so I have been in the HE world for 40 years

We have never had a negative reaction from people when they find out we HE but I feel that's because we are so positive about it - we compare it to being a muggle and getting a Hogwarts letter. You suddenly discover there is this whole world out there that is vibrant and complex and varied and that can provide the most incredible childhood and prepare you to be a successful adult and you simply did not know that it existed.

So i think the vast majority of people are ignorant about HE which is why we get hammered in places like this thread.

Valeriekat · 08/12/2022 03:21

In so many schools where bullying and sexual harassment are rife I think I would prefer to take my chances with home education.