Partners contribution to living expenses

[cindyhove]

I live with my partner. We share the bills/expenses equally. He has more income than me but is it unreasonable to expect him to pick up a larger share of the outgoings?
i have never wanted to be dependent on anyone but am now not so sure that this is an “even” split.
i also don’t want him to feel that I’m in it for the money!
we are renting and both have properties of our own separately that are lived in by others.
I’m not sure what is the right thing or even how to broach the subject.
any thoughts?

Do you own or rent?
Any pla s for marriage?

Oh sorry you're renting but own your own homes?

Dp pays about 3/4 of the bills. He earns a lot more than me

So you’re not married, you don’t have children together, you don’t own a house together…
Have you compromised your earnings for him? (e.g. moving to an area where you earn less but suits him)
Have you moved into a house that’s more expensive than you’d choose yourself? (e.g.cos it’s closer to his work, or he wanted a second loo… etc)

My view is if you haven’t made any financial compromise for him, then you shouldn’t expect him to subsidise you. Even more so if you’re already saving money by living as a couple?

I do think that he’d then have an obligation not to put financial pressure on you - e.g. expecting you to pay half for holidays that are out of your budget. I also thinks it’s lovely if he wants to treat you sometimes. But the basic cost split should be 50:50 in my view.

I’n sure that won’t be a popular view!

If you are both pretty financially comfortable and no plans to marry or have a family then I personally would think it best to keep your own finances separate and just split living expenses equally

Are your outgoings something you can afford and similar to what you paid before?

I don't think you should be disadvantaged by moving in with someone, so if you've moved in and rented your mortgaged house out and bills etc are similar, so you're no worse off then I'd stick to 50/50. However if you've moved somewhere double the price and he's comfortable with that but it stretches you, then in a partnership I would hope he'd be able to pay a higher percentage.

Does he pick up elsewhere with his higher earnings? Such as paying for holidays / meals out / treats / large ticket items?

@Testina I agree. If there have been no sacrifices to earnings etc then 50/50.

I agree with you @Testina
You have managed to better articulate what I was thinking

Yes, based on what you've said it is unreasonable. Larger share only tends to happen once childcare/housework are added to the mix, but that doesn't seem to be the case. Is there a reason you think he should subsidise you? Who chose the rental property? Did you know you couldn't afford half?

Thanks for your thoughts. You’ve helped me clarify in my mind that it’s ok as it is.