Am I being naive?

[Pinkandpurplehairedlady]

My exDH has just called me in a complete strip because my DD is having a friend round for a sleepover on Saturday and her friend happens to be bisexual. He sees it as being the same as having a boy sleepover and says I should put them in separate rooms. To be honest I hadn’t even thought about it. I’ve known this girl for years and I honestly don’t think my daughter thinks of her as anything but a friend.

Am I being naive or should I put them in separate rooms? My DD currently says she is pansexual and they are both 13.

No I think it would be homophobic to put them in separate rooms. Unless they are in a relationship it's no different to her sharing a room with any other girl.

What is it that your worried about exactly?

Whats pansexual?

Pansexual = I'll shag anything?

I wasn’t worried about anything until my ex called in a mood! I think he is worried about them being sexual but I think they are too young to be doing that and aren’t interested in each other that way. He just made me doubt myself - if it was a boy I would be putting them in separate rooms and his argument is that it would be for the same reasons.

If I understand it correctly it’s that she finds all genders attractive.

The huge difference is that a bisexual girl could not get your DD pregnant, unlike a boy.

Ok in which case have you asked if they find their friend attractive?

Too young? Lol. I'd be checking phones before I decided. Any flirting (or more explicit) then definitely separate rooms.

I think your exH (and maybe you?) are being naive if you think that 2 young women (and even children) don't sometimes push the boundaries or explore sexuality - whatever their stated sexual prefence. We explore our own bodies, and sometimes those of other people, as a way of finding out who we are and what makes us tick.

The main thing is to keep talking to your dd, the more they can talk to you about their sexuality the better.

imo the key thing is not about sexual acts but about the power play. does this friend respect your dd's boundaries? does your dd know that she has a choice in anything that happens?

I think your exh's reaction tells you a lot about his own mind - he thinks that if a man and a woman are in close proximity then some kind of sexual activity may well be the outcome.