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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Is this just life now?

27 replies

Waxxy · 05/12/2022 16:47

Been in my house for 5 months. Landlord has increased my rent by 13%. I can't afford it so having to move again. Awful for me and my 4yo. He found the first move really difficult. Thinking now I'm going to have to live somewhere unsuitable or horrible as I need to budget in a potential significant increase in rent.

I've had two payrises over the last 3 years but everything has got harder and harder. I'm a lone mother to a 4yo and I'm really struggling. I feel down all the time. Have had to cancel his gymnastics classes which he loved as I can't afford it anymore. I cut my own hair now. Sold loads of stuff I didn't particularly want to sell. Can't afford to heat my house properly so am freezing cold working from home as hot water bottles don't seem to cut it. This is not the life I imagined for myself.

I've been having awful thoughts about how it would be better if I just wasn't here anymore (I would never do anything silly but the thoughts are still there). My landlord has said if I don't pay the extra rent he will evict me, but I can't guarantee I'll even find anywhere else quick enough.

I sound like I feel sorry for myself. I don't, I don't complain to anyone, I never let on to my 4yo that things are so bad. I just don't know what to do anymore. I don't feel like things are going to get better quick enough.

OP posts:
QuiltedHippo · 05/12/2022 17:04

I'm so sorry, I don't have much practical advice though I think the advice is to stay put as long as possible and let them do the eviction as that takes quite a while?
Any chance of any more pay rises for you, or his dad if you get maintainance? Have you triple checked you're claiming anything you can. It's totally shit that this is the reality for so many people.

Original poster
Waxxy · 05/12/2022 17:11

QuiltedHippo · 05/12/2022 17:04

I'm so sorry, I don't have much practical advice though I think the advice is to stay put as long as possible and let them do the eviction as that takes quite a while?
Any chance of any more pay rises for you, or his dad if you get maintainance? Have you triple checked you're claiming anything you can. It's totally shit that this is the reality for so many people.

Thanks for your response. His dad doesn't have anything to do with him. He pays £7 a week in CMS (works cash in hand and no way I can prove it). No more pay rises for the foreseeable. I'm claiming everything I can, my rent is far higher than the cutoff four housing benefits so even if my rent goes up, the housing payment would stay the same. If I get evicted I could potentially get council housing but there's so little housing available that I could end up in a hostel or bnb for months. I'd also lose my deposit. It's just a shit situation all round and I don't see an end anywhere in sight.

OP posts:
stayathomegardener · 05/12/2022 17:27

I'm wondering if long term council housing might give you both security and later the potential to buy but going through the risk of hostel/B and B placement would be very hard.

Can your parents help out at the moment.

Your ex sounds awful to let you both struggle.

Allsnotwell · 05/12/2022 17:30

Contact housing matters and see what they advice - people need secure housing and unfortunately mortgage rates have gone up and so have rents - downside is benefits haven’t caught up although the news yesterday suggests MOs are calling for a review on this.
Can you move to a lot cheaper area? Anything keeping you where you are?

Tiswa · 05/12/2022 17:32

Do you have a tenancy agreement and fixed term etc because can he just raise it?

Skala123 · 05/12/2022 17:36

Definitely see what your rights are with regards the rent increase. As a landlord myself I'm always told that the law sits firmly in favour of the tenant. We had tenants that didn't pay us anything at all for 5 months and still couldn't evict them. Do you have an agent or deal direct with the landlord? Don't just move out, sounds like you are being bullied

flirtygirl · 05/12/2022 17:39

It's best to be evicted as awful as that sounds.

And go register for a council or housing association property. Yes you may be months in a b and b but it's worth it for secure and low cost housing.

Imagine that every year of his childhood you have to move becuae or landlords and rent. How is that better than a few months in a homeless accommodation? You will become poorer and poorer as moving costs money and rents are higher than council and housing association.

DutchessOfMuck · 05/12/2022 17:40

I thought rents increase were frozen again due to the economic crisis. Maybe that's just Scotland?

Could you give CAB a call op for a benefit check. There are lots of help for heating this winter that you don't have to pay back.

Sirzy · 05/12/2022 17:44

As a back up do you have a relative you could stay with if you have to leave? Give you some more breathing space for now

Cosmos123 · 05/12/2022 17:48

An eviction notice may lead to staying in a hostel etc.

But then u will get quicker access to housing association or council housing which will offer more security.

Short term may sound tough but longer term may be better option for you.

Do you get support for your mental health.

You may be eligible for dla.

Cosmos123 · 05/12/2022 17:49

flirtygirl · 05/12/2022 17:39

It's best to be evicted as awful as that sounds.

And go register for a council or housing association property. Yes you may be months in a b and b but it's worth it for secure and low cost housing.

Imagine that every year of his childhood you have to move becuae or landlords and rent. How is that better than a few months in a homeless accommodation? You will become poorer and poorer as moving costs money and rents are higher than council and housing association.

This 100%

Original poster
Waxxy · 05/12/2022 17:49

Allsnotwell · 05/12/2022 17:30

Contact housing matters and see what they advice - people need secure housing and unfortunately mortgage rates have gone up and so have rents - downside is benefits haven’t caught up although the news yesterday suggests MOs are calling for a review on this.
Can you move to a lot cheaper area? Anything keeping you where you are?

Technically could move to a cheaper area but I'd be moving away from my mum/dad/brothers/sister/extended family and friends. I've lived in this area for 31 years and think it would be horrific if I moved.

OP posts:
Original poster
Waxxy · 05/12/2022 17:49

Tiswa · 05/12/2022 17:32

Do you have a tenancy agreement and fixed term etc because can he just raise it?

It's rolling monthly so he's allowed to increase by as much as he likes after 6 months.

OP posts:
Original poster
Waxxy · 05/12/2022 17:50

Skala123 · 05/12/2022 17:36

Definitely see what your rights are with regards the rent increase. As a landlord myself I'm always told that the law sits firmly in favour of the tenant. We had tenants that didn't pay us anything at all for 5 months and still couldn't evict them. Do you have an agent or deal direct with the landlord? Don't just move out, sounds like you are being bullied

It's done through a letting agency. They advised him against increasing rent within the first 12 months, they also told him that if he did choose to increase it should be no more than 2 or 3 percent. He isn't listening to them.

OP posts:
Original poster
Waxxy · 05/12/2022 17:51

Sirzy · 05/12/2022 17:44

As a back up do you have a relative you could stay with if you have to leave? Give you some more breathing space for now

My mum has my brother living with him and my dad my other brother (they're both much younger than me). I could ask one of my aunts but think it would be difficult as they all live in such small houses.

OP posts:
Quitelikeit · 05/12/2022 17:52

You can contact your local council homeless team as they usually have various initiatives in place for this type of scenario - they have a special fund

also may I ask what industry you work in? Many industries have charitable trusts that you can apply to

do you have any connections to the armed forces?

Original poster
Waxxy · 05/12/2022 17:52

Quitelikeit · 05/12/2022 17:52

You can contact your local council homeless team as they usually have various initiatives in place for this type of scenario - they have a special fund

also may I ask what industry you work in? Many industries have charitable trusts that you can apply to

do you have any connections to the armed forces?

I work in third sector, supporting DA victims.

OP posts:
Original poster
Waxxy · 05/12/2022 17:53

I borrowed the deposit from a family member £900 and they'd be so mad if I lost their deposit.

OP posts:
2bazookas · 05/12/2022 18:08

If you get evicted the LL must return your deposit.

FigTreeInEurope · 05/12/2022 18:31

What sort of a bell end pays seven quid a week towards his kid? I couldn't look myself in the mirror.

Original poster
Waxxy · 05/12/2022 18:41

FigTreeInEurope · 05/12/2022 18:31

What sort of a bell end pays seven quid a week towards his kid? I couldn't look myself in the mirror.

That's not the worst bit. I have a restraining order against him. I'm just glad to be rid of him.

OP posts:
Ragruggers · 05/12/2022 18:45

I suggest you contact your housing officer.I doubt that they will tell you much until your section 21 expires after 2 months but at least try and find out about the waiting lists for a 2 bed property in your area.Your situation is awful and this is why so many families are so worried.Our family have been in a hostel for 6 months with 2 children with autism.They are now being rehoused soon but now there are no spaces in the schools.So a young child will be starting her 4th school in 6 months.Are there any shared ownership in your area?I wish you well.

felulageller · 05/12/2022 18:48

Bear it out in the homeless system to get a better long term solution. Much better to do this with a 4yo than risk being evicted again when he's settled in a school/doing exams.

Ariela · 05/12/2022 19:49

You can try to negotiate with your landlord. Tell him you can only afford 2% or 3 % increase. See what he says. If he accepts - great.

hattie43 · 05/12/2022 19:56

When you read stories like this you realise how shit things are for people . Everything is just so expensive in this country now.
In your shoes OP I think I'd really investigate moving abroad whilst your little one is still young . At least moving abroad you could be warm .