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Original poster

To look back and wonder how I got through it

14 replies

Shawty90 · 05/12/2022 15:44

So after my second baby was born, I was so unwell with PTSD, looking back now that I am better I cannot believe just how poorly I was. How did I even manage to look after my children in the state that I was in? It all seems so long ago but it was only last year, I feel so sad I put myself and my babies through that. I will never have another baby as the thought of going through that again terrifies me. I honestly can’t believe I made it out of the other side!

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Original poster
Shawty90 · 05/12/2022 15:45

Sorry not PTSD, PND

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Original poster
Shawty90 · 05/12/2022 15:46

I remember things like just putting my son in his carrier and just walking for hours on my own as I just couldn’t deal with the thoughts. My husband thought I was going to kill myself, it is such a horrible Illness and I can’t believe the the perinatal team thought I was fit to be a mother!

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Original poster
Shawty90 · 05/12/2022 15:51

I was wondering if maybe I could contact the crisis line and thank them, they were honestly so helpful and got me through on my darkest days. The women there were so supportive and patient and I honestly can’t thank them enough.

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Original poster
Shawty90 · 05/12/2022 19:19

Anyone?

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StroppyTop · 05/12/2022 19:23

I think the crisis line would love to hear that you are feeling much better. It must have been awful for you.

Swissnotswiss · 05/12/2022 19:26

I'm so glad you're feeling better. Second time round, I realised I'd completely skipped the "pushing a pram found while crying uncontrollably" stage - and belatedly realised that it's not really a stage at all, but PND!

CrapBucket · 05/12/2022 19:29

It sounds really really tough. But, can I gently add, you didn't 'put your babies through it', you were poorly and that's not your fault at all. Sending a lot of love.

Original poster
Shawty90 · 05/12/2022 19:49

I’m just so amazed the perinatal team thought I was fit enough. I wasn’t even on this planet.

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Correlation · 05/12/2022 19:52

PND is horrific and I’m so glad that you feel better. It is shudder-worthy stuff when you look back. I am expecting my second child this month and have remained on sertraline after my daughter was born 20 months ago. I hope to have a better experience this time. Look after yourself 💐

Original poster
Shawty90 · 05/12/2022 19:56

Wishing you well 💗 I have been on SertrAline and it helped so much.

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allfurcoatnoknickers · 05/12/2022 20:02

Glad to hear you're feeling better. I sort of understand where you're coming from - I had really, really crippling antenatal depression and anxiety with my first. Luckily my doctor picked up on it, and I had to go and see the special pregnancy psychiatry team once a week, who kept me hanging on by a thread.

I'm pregnant again now, without any depression or anxiety, and it's night and day. I often wonder how I survived it and came through the other side. I barely remember my last pregnancy and what I do remember is traumatic.

Moomoola · 05/12/2022 20:04

Sympathies. I totally lost the plot, left my job, and screwed up my life with what I now realise was pnd.

Mycatsgoldtooth · 05/12/2022 20:06

So happy to hear that you are well now. Sounds like you went through a great deal 💐

Original poster
Shawty90 · 05/12/2022 20:18

I don’t know how to thank them aaa I would like to keep the phone lines free for people that are struggling. I can’t seem to find an email address.

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