To want to not want to cancel my plans?

[Nicotime]

My OH announced the purchase of tickets to a show on the same day as my work Xmas meal. And I'm being made to feel bad because I'm saying thank you, that sounds great but I'm sorry, you should have checked first, I already have plans. I'm getting a real hard time because of it, "You'd rather spend time with your work colleagues than me"

The tickets are for us and 2 of OH's friends. Think they all decided they wanted to go and then went ahead and got the tickets.

AIBU?

YANBU, but this is why a shared calendar is a good idea

YANBU. Why he can't go to the show and you go to your work do?

That’s his fault isn’t it? Sounds very controlling to expect you to cancel.

Did he book it on purpose so you wouldn't go?

My friends husband would do this just so she doesn't go out somewhere without him. It's pathetic.

Go to your works for and just keep saying, next time check whether I have plans or not if you want me to do something.

Its nothing to do with who I'd rather spend time with, it's about a commitment I've already made.

is this a one off event or could they change the date?

Not sure how that’s possible if he didn’t know about the work event

but this is MN where anyone will try to find an abusive man in a post

He really is a twat. Say no and enjoy a night with your colleagues.

He should have asked.

If DH hadn't told me he had plans for a certain day, I'd assume he was free.

Did he know about your work do?

Well yes, that’s a given

not sure why you directed that to my comment though, unless you didn’t bother to read the post I was replying to.

@DancingSpleen oh I missed him not knowing. Misunderstanding then

If this had happened between me and DH, we would both have thought it was a bit of a shame that things fell on the same night. But we would definitely have left it to the “double booked” person to decide what to do, with no pressure either way and definitely no childish accusations like that.

Did he know it was the date of your works do ?