Another bill splitting thread....

[Polly345]

I have planned to go out for a meal with three friends.
I am trying to cut costs and also lose weight. The others will probably opt for 3 courses. The usual routine is to split the bill equally. I've been caught out a few times by adding my share and extra for a tip and one of the others takes my money and divides the remainder by the other three.
Would I be unreasonable to say I'm only paying for my order. Is it best to say that at the start to get it out of the way? Or is it ok just to pay for my own order at the end.

I think it needs to be said at the start - “this time, can we all just pay for what we have, as I’m a bit skint at the moment? Don’t want to ruin anyone else’s fun!”

In groups I’m part of, people tend to be a bit alive to what everyone has had, and only suggest splitting if we’ve all had roughly equal. And obviously exempt non drinkers from booze payment etc.

The only good thing about the cost of living crisis is it's a great excuse for a situation like this that no one can argue with. Just say you're paying for your own.

It’s not out of order at all if that’s what you want to do.

Say it at the start
Put in your money and say "there's the £12 for my chicken salad. And £3 tip. So I'm putting in £15 total"
Done

I have planned to go out for a meal with three friends.

sounds good

I am trying to cut costs and also lose weight.

Then maybe this puts undue pressure on going out for a meal… and will lead to crazy bill gymnastics

And it won’t be the one meal that throws you off course re weight loss, surely you can eat well at the dinner and then get back to your regime the day after?

YANBU. I always just pay for my own because I don’t eat a lot and I’m teetotal, so I’m certainly not subsiding other people’s drinking.

Very easy ime for places to break down the bill without a huge hoo ha. If they are your friends they will understand.. And if they aren't your real friends who cares what they think?

Say it at the start and suggest the easiest way will be to get separate bills. Then let the wait staff know at the beginning too.

When they’ve taken your money + tip before and split the rest three ways, have you been clear you’re including a tip? Whenever we’ve split the bill it’s always either been by card – so you get to add the tip separately – or everyone sorts the bill with cash and does the tip afterwards. If someone pushed £20 across the table at me I’d assume it was £20 for dinner, not £17 for dinner and £3 for tip.

But she's also cutting costs, so having three courses isn't just about the lbs

Say it at the start, put your cash in, once it's all collected add it a tip

It's fine, but if deviating from the norm, say so upfront.

Say it at the start and then clearly say at the end here’s £30 (or whatever) for my meal, drink and tip.

I don't understand the bit about being caught before? You add your share and a tip and the rest of the bill is divided by the other three... how were you caught out? Is it because you had to put in again for the tip?

Her tip was used to pay towards the remainder of the bill.

There's only four of you so you don't have to be a mathematical genius to split the bill. Our group always do it nobody minds, just pay for what you eat and drink and add a tip. Enjoy your meal x

Make it clear from the start you’re just paying for what you’re ordering plus a tip.

I’ve seen someone pocket the tip money. We all paid cash plus an amount for the tip. I saw her collect up the cash on the table, walk to the bar, produce her credit card. The till displayed the payment which was what the bill came to.
When I looked back to the table there was fiver stuffed under the menu holder. She’d pocketed the rest of the tip money. £25.00. I didn’t say anything at the time.
However.the next we went out she tried to do the same again but I engineered it so we all stayed at the table, all of the cash was on a little silver tray, including the tip when the waitress came to collect payment.

Put in your share, and keep the tip money until all the money has been collected and then pop the tip onto the table. Look at a menu beforehand, so you know what you are ordering and take the right amount of cash with you, and with the right amount of cash for the tip.

Totally acceptable. DH and I always do this. Then we can splash out or be frugal without being judged.

I don’t think I’d actually go out again with someone that stole the tip money!

But yes - as long as it’s mentioned at the start bits fine. (although you’re likely to get some grumbling and eye rolling with the types that are usually selfish and take advantage, and I’d bet your tip faller falls into that catagory!)