Me and dp have been together for 4 and a half yrs now. We have a dc together. However he has never really been invested in our relationship emotionally. He never communicates to me about anything whether its good or bad and I'm constantly the one having to address the issues that he doesn't want to face.
Since dc 3 yrs ago we have stopped having sex. So from point of view our emotional and physical connection is practically non existent and I feel like we are two good friends who co habit/parent. I've expressed this to him numerous times and we have seeked counselling over all of this. Problem is dp will maybe put in effort for this first couple of weeks if an issue is brought to his attention for him to only end up ignoring it again.
Dp constantly tells me he doesn't want a sexless relationship or marriage (if we was to get there) but does nothing to change this. I've told him I'm exasperated by his constant contradictions in his words vs lack of actions. We are still really young and I don't see how we are to have a future together when this has been going on so long with no progression or willingness on his end. When I ask why he doesn't try anything he blames me and says I dislike sexual activities (this was true yrs ago but isn't the same now) and holds it over me to excise him not even trying.
Yesterday i had enough and asked him why he was even with me, what did he get out of this relationship besides my company that made him want to be with me. And he simply replied he gets a sense of "fulfillment and purpose" having me and dc in his life. That he doesn't feel sexual towards me or himself but hopes it will come back in time (with him doing nothing productive to make it happen) so basically he is using me because he likes the feeling of having something to wake up for rather than actually liking our relationship, this would explain the emotional neglect. Dp is great at the practical side of things, doing dishes, cooking, dc.ect. but that is where it ends. He doesn't talk to me, our relationship has no substance. We watch TV together but we hardly go out be it because of childcare or money.
AIBU to think he is simply using this relationship because it makes him feel good. Surely any other woman can do that for him. When I said he only felt that way about me because I'm the mother of his child he went silent. I just feel like he doesn't care although he claims this couldn't be further from the truth. When I tried to kick him out last night all he cared about was that his parents house is cold. Not even that he didn't want to leave me or dc. He said it was the shock talking. But I don't think he quite understands how he comes across.