Self care sos | Mumsnet

Blackeyesbluetears · 2022-12-05T07:43:28+00:00

I'm a wreck. I'm overweight. My skin is awful. I'm tired and I'm financially screwed. Housework hard to keep on top of. Tips for mums with an SEN child? It's not always easy as he sometimes needs a lot of attention. We spend money outsourcing tasks and for therapies for ds1. I just need an easy way to boost everything. I'm tired so I eat. My gall bladder niggles. Help please!

Keyansier · 05/12/2022 10:54

I have no advice for you, sorry, but I'm bumping this because there's loads of clever and helpful people on here that will help you out.

Original poster

Blackeyesbluetears · 05/12/2022 11:56

Thanks. My thread is ghostly silent.

Today I bought chicken for lunch instead of crisps. A tiny change. I need to make my own lunch for work but I was late as I had to spend extra time supporting ds1 to get ready today. He needed me emotionally so I had to be there. I ended up having a 2 minute shower, using conditioner to brush the knots out of my hair and slinging clothes on to run out the door. I don't want to get up earlier as I'm exhausted (bloods all fine)

OP posts:

LemonDrizzles · 05/12/2022 19:08

@Blackeyesbluetears how old is DS1?

Is it feasible you could take a day off every 6 months or so just for you?

What do you want to change? On that list, what realistically can you start doing today to make those changes happen?

Also, I switched to showering at night - it was a bit of a game changer for me.

All the best

NiceUnusualDifferent · 05/12/2022 19:11

Agree with previous poster. Shower at night, it helps mornings and also I pack lunches for the next day while I'm cooking dinner so just need to grab them in the morning.

Self care is different for everyone. What would make you feel better? Is it hair, nails, clothes? Some time reading in a hot bath makes the world of difference for me.

LunaAndHerMoonDragons · 05/12/2022 19:24

Can totally relate. I like my shower in the morning personally and bedtimes tend to get chaotic with my Autistic children so it's not always better then the morning. Starting small and being realistic about it. One possible I can think of is having a list for the good nights/mornings so you can get something done like making lunches ahead or making a meal he likes and freezing it in batches. I find meals hard when I've sorted DCs meals I often just grab whatever I can because I'm so exhausted and no mental energy left to even think of what I could eat. Reduce the things you need to do on days he needs more attention so you can focus on him and not feel worried about when XYZ can get done. When I do stick to a routine it helps me and DC. Having a meal list up of what each DC will eat helps too when I'm too exhausted to think.

Original poster

Blackeyesbluetears · 05/12/2022 23:02

Thank you all for the useful replies. I think truthfully I will feel healthier if I can lose some weight. It just feels like a huge task.

Ds1 is nearly six. His brother is nearly five and a completely different child. For example, I can plan some meals and take ds2 with me to the supermarket. Currently if I were to do that with ds1 it would be a stressful and strenuous activity with a meltdown to finish.

I work quite long hours. Dh is great but equally as bogged down with caring for ds1. For example it's not always possible to tidy up after dinner so I come home to a mess. This is a genuine difficulty. We have to pick our moments to tackle chores when we know ds1.will be safe and is emotionally settled. And he's NEVER settled after school which is often dh's shift

OP posts:

OgdensGoneNutFlake · 05/12/2022 23:20

Really really simple one but makes a huge difference- buy yourself nice large flask/ bottle and fill it with water (bung in a bit of cucumber or lemon if you're feeling fancy) and drink absolutely loads all day.
Will help with weightless because you won't be hungry, will help with skin and hair too. And you could consciously sit down to drink it which would give you a brief moment to regain your thoughts.
Like I say, not life changing but will really make a difference.

Keyansier · 05/12/2022 23:30

Blackeyesbluetears · 05/12/2022 23:02

Thank you all for the useful replies. I think truthfully I will feel healthier if I can lose some weight. It just feels like a huge task.

Ds1 is nearly six. His brother is nearly five and a completely different child. For example, I can plan some meals and take ds2 with me to the supermarket. Currently if I were to do that with ds1 it would be a stressful and strenuous activity with a meltdown to finish.

I work quite long hours. Dh is great but equally as bogged down with caring for ds1. For example it's not always possible to tidy up after dinner so I come home to a mess. This is a genuine difficulty. We have to pick our moments to tackle chores when we know ds1.will be safe and is emotionally settled. And he's NEVER settled after school which is often dh's shift

Hi OP

I realise it may not be relatable, but tbh, IMO, coming home to 'a mess' (when the 'mess' is people's eaten meals) is not a big deal at all. You and DH need to stop beating yourselves up over it. So your children ate meals and may have been messy whilst doing so. So what?! In the grand scale of things, if this really a big deal? No.