To ask if there’s anyone in RL you secretly fancy?

Margot78 · 2022-12-05T00:18:32+00:00

I seem to have a few - the guy who loves opposite me, one of the teachers at my child’s school and one of the Dads at the school gate. All married. Not sure if it’s normal but I feel like I need to have a crush in my life, it just seems to make life a bit sweeter. Not sure if I should have grown out of it by now though!

704703hey · 05/12/2022 03:14

Crushes are normal. It's just to brighten up your life. No I don't have any at the moment though!

uhOhOP · 05/12/2022 03:33

Yes, my manager at work. I think about her all the time and have started dreaming about her. At work, I find myself excited whenever she speaks to me or smiles at me, and when she casually touches me it just about tips me over the edge! I like to imagine that she is flirting with me, but I know it's highly unlikely to be the case.

Aussiegirl123456 · 05/12/2022 03:48

So normal!

JimLaheysWhiskeyBottle · 05/12/2022 03:54

There’s a bloke that gets on my bus every day. He’s very tall and quite broad and wears a snowboarding brand hoody. I love a 40 something bloke in winter clothes!! It’s the way he handles himself, mannerisms etc. He is SUPER hot. I see him every day, on the way to work and on the way home. It’s my favourite part of the day!

Fraaahnces · 05/12/2022 04:55

Yep… Someone I grew up with. I’m married. He’s divorced but has a newish partner who is lovely. There’s been a “vibe” for about thirty years but we’ve never been single at the same time. He and my DH are friends too. He admitted to feelings last time I saw him (we had been to a mutual friend’s big bday and had had a few) and I didn’t admit anything back. I couldn’t do that to my DH. I haven’t told him either. Just pretending that I don’t remember it.

Skethylita · 05/12/2022 05:00

Yes, my boss. But he is in a very long-term relationship and I would never interfere there.

Phoenixrising2020 · 05/12/2022 05:04

Crush on someone 20 years younger, but would never dream of doing anything about it.

Oblomov22 · 05/12/2022 05:07

Never really had a RL crush.

MermaidSwimming · 05/12/2022 05:45

Yes a guy at work, spend way too much time thinking about him

Aussiegirl123456 · 05/12/2022 05:56

I read on here a post a few days ago about crushes and how they’re usually reciprocated, even if neither party admits to it. What are your thoughts on this?

(personally I don’t think so, but so many comments agreed with that statement).

Batcountry8 · 05/12/2022 06:43

Yep having a crush on someone atm. Both single but age difference prob too big.
Wish I was bit younger (alot younger!)
Don't worry he's early 30's. I am in my head but not age wise.
It's come out of the blue, has been extremely fun to think of, and tbh reminded me I'm still alive as a woman. Having been a single mum and single for 14 years.

The lovely thing is that I do think it's reciprocated. Tho I'm pretty confident and chatty I cannot envisage finding out more or say giving my number and saying go for it.
Just too damn scared of heartache or looking like a total Muppet.

But generally it's quite good!!

Ps.
This person is leaving their workplace in about 10 days so I won't see them again.

Bah!

Original poster

Margot78 · 05/12/2022 07:12

Aussiegirl123456 · 05/12/2022 05:56

I read on here a post a few days ago about crushes and how they’re usually reciprocated, even if neither party admits to it. What are your thoughts on this?

(personally I don’t think so, but so many comments agreed with that statement).

I think sometimes the sexual tension is so strong that it feels like the other person must feel it. I know logically that can’t always be the case. I don’t know how men’s minds work though, whether they pick up on these things, whether they (briefly) consider a woman’s attractiveness when they talk to her or whether this only happens if they feel an immediate attraction. I’m
glad I’m not the only one who enjoys crushes, I can’t imagine life without a crush to brighten the day up, it would be so dull. I feel a little bit alive when I see someone who gives me the flutters although I would never act on it. DH is wonderful.

OP posts:

Batcountry8 · 05/12/2022 16:28

Any more?!

Interested in single people with a crush.
Are you going to do anything about it?

LBFseBrom · 05/12/2022 16:31

Dominic Cummings.

RaRaRaspoutine · 05/12/2022 16:51

Guy I work with. He's a bit younger than me (am in early thirties). I am too much of a wimp to do anything.

Clementine8 · 05/12/2022 16:57

very similar to @Fraaahnces , i have a friend who we’ve never been single at the same time. Others have said we should be together but I never thought he felt it too. I’ve never admitted my crush to anyone and insist we are just friends.
At his wedding he said it should have been me. I just laughed it off and he messaged the next day saying he was too drunk to remember but sorry if he said anything inappropriate.
we’ve both gone back to pretending there is nothing there.

Pjsandhotchoc · 05/12/2022 17:05

Clementine8 · 05/12/2022 16:57

very similar to @Fraaahnces , i have a friend who we’ve never been single at the same time. Others have said we should be together but I never thought he felt it too. I’ve never admitted my crush to anyone and insist we are just friends.
At his wedding he said it should have been me. I just laughed it off and he messaged the next day saying he was too drunk to remember but sorry if he said anything inappropriate.
we’ve both gone back to pretending there is nothing there.

That poor wife.

I don’t think having a crush is the same as a man telling you ‘it should have been you’ on his wedding day!

In my opinion, a crush is fancying someone, a bit of a fantasy, finding someone very attractive.
It sounds like it’s more than that in your scenario, and it’s very, very inappropriate. Especially that you say you laughed it off and now just pretend there is nothing there. You could just spare the wife’s feelings and I dunno, maybe stop seeing him?

EBearhug · 05/12/2022 17:22

He knows. No one else knows - one of the benefits of WFH.