Sorry for the long post - it didn't start out that way!
I am divorced over 5 years now, I have 3 DC, 2 in primary and one in high school.
EXH does not stick to agreed arrangements for DC, constantly changes it, cancels, delays. He is never available for emergencies, appointments, arising situations. He leaves our part of the UK to be with his OH who lives in another UK country, so when he doesn't have our DC that's where he is. I have just tried to get on with things and accept I can't rely on him. Obviously this impacts the kids, but his decisions are out with my control.
I have 3 good friends, friend 1 we have drifted a part quite a bit, she is busy with her life/work and has her own stuff to deal with, I get it.
Friend 2 is mentally unstable with good reason, and has a massive family situation which is likely to be ongoing for the rest of her life probably, so her capacity to have head space for my life/problems is zero, I also get this so don't burden her when I'm feeling low, she has enough to deal with.
Friend 3 moved 4 hours away about a year ago so of course we see each other much less.
I am disabled, various things, lots of pain and problems with mobility/fatigue etc I cannot work, and haven't done for about 6 years.
There have been several big events for my oldest DC over the past 3 weeks. He is having an awful time of it and school have raised concerns over his mental wellbeing. He is neurodiverse. We have been on the waiting list for more than 2 years for him to see a specialised team to support him and help me to support him better, we have also been to GP and have an appointment next week in which I will of course update them on the sharp downward trend.
My Family, DM, DF and DSIS are very opinionated and rather than support me, I feel like I'm under more pressure than ever.
I am usually the friend everyone else comes to for advice and help, which I'm happy to give, and help where I can, I rarely ask for help myself, I'm very independent, very practical and self sufficient.
I feel like I have no one to turn to, to rant at, to ask advice. I took myself outside the house yesterday just so I could cry. I'm running on empty, and EXH is not likely to step up, I really don't know what to do for the best but I'm so exhausted and stressed with it all. I am totally lost.