To not spend NYE with husband this year?

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My husband has two older children with his ex and we have one child together.

NYE is supposed to be alternated but for as long as I've known DH (8 years) he has always had DSC on NYE as he prefers to do something at home with them and their mum likes to go out and celebrate with friends so she's always been happy to let him have it.

I have some friends who are throwing a party this year and I want to go. The home with DC thing is okay but I want to have the opportunity to have some drinks and see friends too every now and then. Selfishly I'd much prefer it if the alternating did actually happen.

My mum has always said she'd be more than happy to have our little one as she never bothers with it and they are only 2 so don't really know what's going on anyway.

I feel like this is one of the last year's I can really do something with friends instead whilst our joint child has no idea what NYE is or that I'm not there for it.

My husband thinks I'm being unreasonable. He won't alternate it this year so they are with their mum and come with me because he prefers being with the kids (fair enough) but he also wants me to want that too (not fair enough imo).

He doesn't seem to get that spending the evening having a kids party (our toddler will be in bed anyway from early-ish) isn't my idea of a thrilling NYE and I've done it for the past 8 years!

AIBU to go without him and leave him to have his NYE party with the kids if that's what he wants?

Basically he thinks it's a family thing and it's terrible that I'd prefer to be somewhere else, whereas I think it's not a big deal to spend it apart one year.

Definitely not unreasonable. Go and have fun at the party!

Well, you both think differently about NYE. DH won't be around, you have a babysitter, so go to the party. I don't think YABU. Maybe DH doesn't like the idea of you being at a party without him?

Of course you’re not being unreasonable!

I haven’t always spent NYE with partners and I have friends who often don’t spend it together.

A night with your friends sounds fun, don’t give in to him and stay in!

You're not being unreasonable at all, in fact you've been more than reasonable every year you've had the dsc as this is what he wants. It's time for him to either wish you a good night and encourage you to go, or his ex has the dc and he comes with you.

Thanks decision made, I'll be going to the party I think 😀