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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Abusive Ex’s family trying to intimidate me- AIBU

5 replies

Newmum1998 · 04/12/2022 10:00

To cut a long story short my ex was abusive towards me. We split up, I went to the police who charged him and he was later convicted. I also found out during this time he has some previous convictions for being abusive to an ex girlfriend of his. Exe’s family witnessed some of the abuse towards me and our child but they totally deny it. I’ve also since seen proof they knew of his behaviour towards his EX and his previous convictions so they would have realised at the time that he had done it before.

EX got supervised contact in centre which has now progressed to handovers at centre. The handovers at centre are only meant to be in place for short period of time and then it’s meant to progress to me doing handovers with EXE’s family(I have order in place so ex can’t approach me or contact me in any way so can’t do handovers with him).

Anyway, exes family (who are the ones I’m meant to be doing handovers with soon) during the supervised contact have been sitting outside the centre in the car park the whole time. Watching me as I enter the building and leave and then they are still there when I return to pick my child up and they again watch me as I enter building and as I leave. I find it really intimidating and upsetting. I mentioned it to staff in centre who can’t do anything about it and my solicitor wrote a letter to EXE’s solicitor basically asking them to cut it out. They still continued to sit in car park every time so I started to park around the corner so they they would only see me from a distance going in and out the centre. However since it has progressed form supervised contact to handovers at the centre they have been sitting right outside the centre doors instead and again, staring at me as I’m walking In and out the building.

AIBU for finding this so intimidating and upsetting and AIBU for thinking I don’t want to progress to doing handovers with them in the future. In my mind it’s their son in the wrong and he has had to use the centre for a reason and that’s because of his behaviour so I don’t understand why they seem to be going out of their way to get at me.

OP posts:
Newmum1998 · 04/12/2022 10:02

Im really fed up because my ex was always trying to do things to get at me and now he cant because of the order in place it’s like his family are doing it for him. I just know he’ll be getting a kick out of knowing they’re outside doing that and it’ll fuel him

OP posts:
Astrak · 04/12/2022 10:10

I suggest that you get the matter returned to Court. In my opinion, the current and future safety and welfare of you and your child could be compromised.
Was the Local Authority Children and Families Department involved with you and your child's contact arrangements? Probation Service? Don't try to deal with this bullying and intimidation by yourself.

maddening · 15/01/2023 23:44

This reply has been withdrawn

Message withdrawn - posted on wrong thread

maddening · 15/01/2023 23:45

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn - posted on wrong thread

Sorry this was meant for your other thread

maddening · 15/01/2023 23:46

Reporter my post- wrong thread

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