AIBU to tell people to put their rubbish in a bin? DH said I’m a ‘loon’

[Blueseawhale]

I was recently parked in the car park of a fast food restaurant waiting to collect my daughter from work. Three men exited the restaurant all with their food and sat in their van near where I was parked eating it. They then opened the big slide door of the van and threw their rubbish on the ground, despite there being a bin nearby. I noticed they weren’t leaving straight away so I tapped on their window and politely asked them to put their rubbish in the bin.

One of the men got out and told me it wasn’t their rubbish as he’d just been to the bin, I said I had just seen the rubbish come out of the van so then he said it must have fallen out by mistake. I smiled politely and said no problem but would you mind putting it in the bin please? He said yeah ok. I didn’t move and he called my a psycho for politely waiting for him to do the task.

I continued to smile whilst his mates in the van called me all sorts of names and told him to not out it in the bin now, but eventually he picked it up and walked to the bin. I smiled and said thank you so much and returned to my car.

I told DH and he’s gone mad calling me a ‘loon’ and saying I should mind my own business!

I’m now a bit confused AIBU?

Good for you , you're not a loon.
I hate it when people throw litter especially when there's a bin right there.

I mean, it’s not unreasonable to ask someone to put their rubbish in the bin, but the guy could have hurt you, so whilst your husband’s terminology is horrible, he was probably just scared for you. My DH has trained me out of my ‘Italian hand gestures’ at other drivers because he says you never know who will react by getting out and stabbing you (he’s a police officer)

I have in the past picked up litter and given it back to someone, saying 'oops there you go, you dropped that'. I took myself by surprise doing it, and I think they were so surprised they just took it from me and stared.

I hate littering.

But you had no idea what sort of reception you were going to get and might've been putting yourself in danger.

Well done.
I would probably have done the same but various family members would probably try to stop me because they would find it embarrassing.

Well done you. Perhaps your dh was just worried about your safety though in a McDonald's carpark which was presumably well lit and would have cctv they would have been pretty stupid to do anything.
I imagine the air was a bit blue in the van when leaving but hopefully just maybe it will make them think before doing it again or next time they do it beside a police car.

I have previously reminded people to pick up their rubbish and put it in a bin, so I don't you are a loon for doing that. However, approaching 3 men in a van as a lone female wasn't a great idea, and I think that is what your husband meant.

DS and I sat in a fast food restaurant and watched almost the exact same thing happen a few weeks ago. He's only five but he was so shocked they would do that. They were five paces max from the bin. I didn't say anything as I was in the restaurant but had I been in the car park, I wouldn't have been able to stop myself.

I’ve told people to pick up their rubbish. It needs saying.

What is the confusion?
Do you consider your actions a normal thing to do and if so, how many times have you seen other people doing it for you to consider it normal behaviour?

It was potentially dangerous for you. Your dh is probably worried for you (and your dd if she came out). As long as you are aware of that it's up to you what you do but because you are confused I wonder if you do

Definitely NBU. I litter pick with a small group every week and this week we collected 18 bags between 5 of us in 1 1/2 hours. Ideally people would put their shite in the bin rather than lobbing it out of cars so we didn’t need to do it.

Lol, good for you! Stay safe though.

Take a photo and report them to your local council.That's enough evidence along with your witness statement for them to prosecute.
I lifted a large bag of disgusting takeaway leftovers which some you g men had just thrown out of their car and placed it on their car roof.
They just stared at me and didn't even get out of the car.

I’m very much in the “ oops, you dropped this!” camp. I do it all the time to people and they almost always reflexively take it back and stare at me befuddled. A lot of people swear and me, but I usually just smile and say ‘now now, don’t be a lazy bastard, there’s a bin right there.”

Yanbu. I tell people to pick up their litter but I do a quick "are they likely to punch /stab me" assessment first.
I litter pick a lot which is quite satisfying.

Thanks for doing this. If more people did, fewer people would have to.

Why does your DH not think it is his business?

It is not up to your DH to dictate to you whether you say anything or not.

OTOH for your own safety he might have a point, these things can escalate quickly and three men in a van against one woman wouldn't end well. That might also be putting him at risk, or any children you have with you. Most of the time you'll just get a lot of swearing etc. but sometimes not.

Although I am the sort of person who speaks out "unwisely" quite often so I'm not saying don't do it, I'm saying be very aware of risk and when to back away (self-defence training in the broadest sense) and of which battles you really want to pick that are important to you.

OP you have my admiration! I think the attitude of some younger men means the proximity of a bin is irrelevant - it's just not cool or macho in their pathetic little brains to do something so conformist and goody-goody as to put their rubbish in the designated place, especially if they are in a group of mates.

Years ago when I worked in South London I was walking back from my lunch break towards the big traffic lights where Kennington Road meets Lambeth Road. The traffic had stopped and suddenly a massive quantity of fish'n'chip papers, with plenty till inside, landed at my feet. Whether it was aimed at me I don't know - probably! I looked to see where it had come from and saw a group of 3 lads in the stereotypical bashed-up white van grinning away. I immediately scooped this rubbish up and chucked it straight back through their window. Chips and bits of fish went absolutely everywhere and their faces were a picture. Luckily for me, the lights changed to red and they had no choice but to drive off. I know that it was a risky thing to do - if they'd been nasty pieces of work it could have been very unpleasant indeed. An elderly lady who'd seen the whole thing came over and congratulated me, which made my day.

I love this memory - it's not often you can give people back a dose of their own medicine.

Good for you OP, I wouldn't have done this myself but only because I'd be too scared to 😬

Very well done OP.

Does your DH think you are a "loon" for caring about the litter or for putting yourself in a potentially dangerous situation? Presumably the latter. But maybe, just maybe, they won't do that again in case they get confronted by a determined lady telling them to pick it up.

I absolutely detest people who litter like this. Such a selfish and entitled attitude.

@CulturePigeon That's brilliant!