AIBU nepotism at work

Catmatdat · 2022-12-03T18:40:49+00:00

Would it worry you a new starter is a family member/related to the direct manager? im in that situation at the moment, DIL. No one else applied for the job and she’s fine at the job. I’m just unsure if I should be worried? Manager is 90% great in most respects, no one is 100% perfect.

Blueseawhale · 03/12/2022 18:41

hate nepotism on every level- so unfair

luxxlisbon · 03/12/2022 18:41

Worried what exactly? There are thousands of family businesses all over the country, it’s not unusual.

StickyCricket · 03/12/2022 18:41

What exactly are you worried about?

DuplicateUserName · 03/12/2022 18:41

You haven't said what you're worried about?

Original poster

Catmatdat · 03/12/2022 18:42

I don’t know if I should be worried?

OP posts:

Original poster

Catmatdat · 03/12/2022 18:43

luxxlisbon · 03/12/2022 18:41

Worried what exactly? There are thousands of family businesses all over the country, it’s not unusual.

This isn’t a family business, the new employee is related to manager

OP posts:

chipsandpeas · 03/12/2022 18:44

Blueseawhale · 03/12/2022 18:41

hate nepotism on every level- so unfair

why

theres nepotism in many companies around the country, its a way of getting in, some will succeed and some wont

Itsbeenashortyear · 03/12/2022 18:45

It’s not really nepotism if no one else applied.

Can not think of any reason to be concerned at all, at this point.

OrangeCinnamonLatte · 03/12/2022 18:46

Had a temp once in the admin office, daughter of the director , bigger boss was worried about it. I was quite relaxed as I've worked for family businesses before, you have to give people a chance and let them prove their worth. In this case (and I think yours?) the role was fairly applied for and gained etc. Said temp turned out to be one of the best I've ever worked with, common sense, tact, diplomacy, great IT skills etc. I was so sad when she left. Obviously destined for better things as now working for an Ivy League College in a prestigious role.

girlmom21 · 03/12/2022 18:47

It's not nepotism and she's fine at the job. What's the issue?

Original poster

Catmatdat · 03/12/2022 18:48

girlmom21 · 03/12/2022 18:47

It's not nepotism and she's fine at the job. What's the issue?

Promotion?

OP posts:

girlmom21 · 03/12/2022 18:51

Is there a suggestion there's a possibility of an unfair promotion?

AllIwantforChristmas22 · 03/12/2022 18:52

How is it nepotism if nobody else applied?

Original poster

Catmatdat · 03/12/2022 18:53

OrangeCinnamonLatte · 03/12/2022 18:46

Had a temp once in the admin office, daughter of the director , bigger boss was worried about it. I was quite relaxed as I've worked for family businesses before, you have to give people a chance and let them prove their worth. In this case (and I think yours?) the role was fairly applied for and gained etc. Said temp turned out to be one of the best I've ever worked with, common sense, tact, diplomacy, great IT skills etc. I was so sad when she left. Obviously destined for better things as now working for an Ivy League College in a prestigious role.

Just worried incase something happens and I get blamed for it.

i may be overly sensitive but we were in the office and she left inspirational quote on the bosses monitor and another person we work with…. Didn’t leave it on mine.

OP posts:

Original poster

Catmatdat · 03/12/2022 18:53

that was the second week she worked there

OP posts:

chipsandpeas · 03/12/2022 18:53

Catmatdat · 03/12/2022 18:48

Promotion?

Show quote history

its unlikely they will get a promotion just because who they are related to

karendrury · 03/12/2022 18:55

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Original poster

Catmatdat · 03/12/2022 18:56

chipsandpeas · 03/12/2022 18:53

its unlikely they will get a promotion just because who they are related to

Show quote history

Is that not how it works?

OP posts:

drpet49 · 03/12/2022 18:56

I wouldn’t trust the new employee. Don’t say anything to her that you wouldn’t want getting back to your manager.

Original poster

Catmatdat · 03/12/2022 18:57

drpet49 · 03/12/2022 18:56

I wouldn’t trust the new employee. Don’t say anything to her that you wouldn’t want getting back to your manager.

Well that’s the other thing as well.

but my manager is good about managing our work and being in contact etc.

OP posts:

karendrury · 03/12/2022 18:58

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

BrokenWing · 03/12/2022 19:16

Awkward for everyone involved.

Will your manager fairly mentor without bias. Will they do performance reviews without bias. Whether it is consious or subconsious.

When an attractive opportunity comes along, a project/chance to raise profile outside of your department, and he gives it to her is it because it is a good development opportunity for the new start, and he would have done it whoever the new start was, or preferational treatment? You wont know and understandably may jump to the wrong conclusion if it was something you wanted to do and it causes resentment.

Personally, I'd be looking for another role either in or outside your company as even if everyone goes into it with good intentions it is impossible for it to not cause awkwardness.

Original poster

Catmatdat · 03/12/2022 19:18

BrokenWing · 03/12/2022 19:16

Awkward for everyone involved.

Will your manager fairly mentor without bias. Will they do performance reviews without bias. Whether it is consious or subconsious.

When an attractive opportunity comes along, a project/chance to raise profile outside of your department, and he gives it to her is it because it is a good development opportunity for the new start, and he would have done it whoever the new start was, or preferational treatment? You wont know and understandably may jump to the wrong conclusion if it was something you wanted to do and it causes resentment.

Personally, I'd be looking for another role either in or outside your company as even if everyone goes into it with good intentions it is impossible for it to not cause awkwardness.

Valid points. And it could cause issues anyway I guess. But yes.

OP posts:

Itsbeenashortyear · 03/12/2022 19:24

All those potential problems could arise anyway. A manger becomes good friends with an employee. Didn’t know each other before but become good friends at work.

Even just someone starting there and their boss liking them more than others, can cause problems.

It’s all speculation. Looking to leave your job before a problem has arisen is an over reaction, imo. Unless you were already thinking of leaving or you would find it impossible to look at it objectively.

Original poster

Catmatdat · 03/12/2022 19:51

Itsbeenashortyear · 03/12/2022 19:24

All those potential problems could arise anyway. A manger becomes good friends with an employee. Didn’t know each other before but become good friends at work.

Even just someone starting there and their boss liking them more than others, can cause problems.

It’s all speculation. Looking to leave your job before a problem has arisen is an over reaction, imo. Unless you were already thinking of leaving or you would find it impossible to look at it objectively.

That’s true.

OP posts: