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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be worried that I am autistic?

38 replies

Worried001 · 03/12/2022 13:09

Trying to be as sensitive as possible here so please forgive me if I don't quite word things right.
I really do think that I am autistic. Reasons being-

  1. Very shy and quiet, often don't know what to say to people.
  2. Look years younger than my age. Almost 40 but people still think early twenties. They say as well as looking really young, I also seem it.
  3. Strange voice which people always comment on as 'You really don't sound like you are from around here.' Even though I have lived in the same place all my life.
  4. Never had problems making friends in school but as I've got older, I really have.
My nan, mum and sister all get the same comments but I think we all have a form of it? Problem is although I haven't been diagnosed, I still worry that people see it from a mile off that I most likely have autism and that's hard as I have not accepted it in myself as yet. I don't have an issue with my routine changing, can read social cues very easily and am known as the 'counsellor' within my family as well as having a brilliant imagination and very creative in my writing but after writing a thread on here recently, those who suffer with autism said they don't have a problem with any of those things either so I do think I have it. Is it worth getting a diagnosis at this stage in life and how do you begin to accept it ? Again, my apologies if I have worded this wrong or in a clumsy fashion. It is certainly not my intention.
OP posts:
AccioChocolate · 03/12/2022 19:23

Why would you be worried?

If you are 40, then you have had it for 40 years Nothing would change if you were diagnosed. Be worried if you have a weird lump, not that you may have always been nd

ofwarren · 03/12/2022 19:24

Worried001 · 03/12/2022 18:51

I know this sounds silly but I googled looking really young for age and many people with autism report that they too look decade's younger. Same with the odd accent. Apparently it is very common in those with autism. A few people have said to me 'You seem so much younger' as well. I do a very responsible job, a careworker for physically disabled kids and am not reckless or immature in how I behave but I think as someone said upthread, it's maybe because I am quite a nervous and shy person which coupled with the young face and slight build, gives off a childish impression, who knows.
I just feel really embarrassed about it all.
Autism seems to fit a much wider scale now. I always used to think that because I was imaginative, good with social cues, didn't care about a change in my daily routine etc, that I didn't have it but I still think I might.
Something I need to think about in terms of whether it would be helpful to get a diagnosis or not. I know there are pros and cons to that.

I'm autistic and also have the accent thing OP. I always get asked where I'm from and people mostly guess South Africa.
I'm from Lancashire 🤣

Original poster
Worried001 · 03/12/2022 22:15

Yes, I was reading up on it, some say that those with autism speak with an American accent or with odd inflections.
I get told all the time that I have an accent and there's no reason for me to have one. With that said, my mum and brother also get told the same so it may be unrelated but that with the other traits I have mentioned just got me wondering. I know it shouldn't worry me but it still does.

OP posts:
TheBirdintheCave · 03/12/2022 22:26

Worried001 · 03/12/2022 22:15

Yes, I was reading up on it, some say that those with autism speak with an American accent or with odd inflections.
I get told all the time that I have an accent and there's no reason for me to have one. With that said, my mum and brother also get told the same so it may be unrelated but that with the other traits I have mentioned just got me wondering. I know it shouldn't worry me but it still does.

Also autistic and I have a wandering accent too. I think it's part of echolalia that can be an autism comorbidity.

IDontWantToBeAPie · 04/12/2022 14:52

Tbh finding friends as you get older is hard for everyone. Autistic people don't always look younger.

The only thing that's unusual in your post is that you have a strange accent which is an autism indicator.

But if you can read social cues easily that makes me think you're not autistic.

Worth seeing a GP if you're worried though.

Original poster
Worried001 · 04/12/2022 18:09

Yes, that's what makes me worry that people can tell due to the odd voice and shyness.. It's not anything to be ashamed of but I haven't accepted it in myself yet that I may have it so it's hard.

OP posts:
BungleandGeorge · 04/12/2022 18:18

It sounds like you’ve spent too long googling and fallen down a rabbit hole! You haven’t really listed any of the things that autistic people are usually most troubled by. Why are you ‘worried’? Is there something about life that is troubling you?

Original poster
Worried001 · 04/12/2022 18:21

I think I just feel ashamed of myself as I look so different to others my age, sound so different and don't have the confidence that they do.

OP posts:
BungleandGeorge · 04/12/2022 18:22

Btw I wouldn’t be wondering whether you were on the spectrum because you’re shy or have an unisal
accent. It’s usually the obsessive interests or being quite socially awkward (and often intelligent at the same time). I realise not everyone presents like that but those who mask effectively or who present differently I probably wouldn’t pick up

BungleandGeorge · 04/12/2022 18:40

Try not to let them get you down, personal comments about looks/accents etc are uncalled for. They probably don’t see it as negative but personal comments of any type aren’t appropriate.

Original poster
Worried001 · 04/12/2022 18:58

Thank you x
Both my looks and voice cause so much unwanted attention. Just wish I could blend in with everyone else.

OP posts:
BaileySharp · 04/12/2022 19:02

I have a loud confidential friend who has been diagnosed with autism and ADHD so being shy and socially awkward isn't necessarily linked! She's a social butterfly! I'm shy and awkward however...

YukoandHiro · 04/12/2022 19:06

Following as my DH is considering exploring diagnosis

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