he is getting on my last nerve

[Lanadoalot]

hello,

just a rant really.

My husband has this thing of comparing our 3 year old to his friends 3 year old all the time. the latest sulk this morning is over bloody elf on the shelf. Our son is not feeling very well atm, started last night with a temperature and snotty nose so he's not 100 percent himself anyway. and he's only just turned 3 so still very little. he found the elf but my husband is not sulking that he's "not really getting it" and "thought he'd be more into it". I said he's just turned 3 and poorly what would you like his reaction to be. And, typically, he says well friends daughter is all over it, thinks its so funny. this is a pattern, he compares our son all the time.

Secondly, me and our other child have been poorly all week. no sympathy from him expected, I got on with working (luckily from home) with both the kids as their nursery closed due to staff illness snd shortage. very fortunate I work a flexible role.

he feels a bit under the weather today (his words) and after his mammoth sulk this morning is now flailing around like a wounded soilder. Asking me to do everything for him with loud snuffles in between. I've had an exhausting week myself.

this man is getting on my last nerve!!

Rant away!! Does your husband know comparison is the thief of joy?

I hope you all feel better soon 💐

Have you told him?

I find I just 'let slip' quite a few of my thoughts these days.

I said to him all kids are different and he will probably understand it more next year. he does have form for sulking, especially since we had kids, and it does my head in.

And on the illness front, I made us all a cup of tea and then told him I was taking our youngest out for a walk to get us some much needed fresh air after our week. Also for me to get away from him as he's irritating me

Do you have a patio op? And a spade?
Seriously I’d tell him to stop moaning as nobody offered you anything when you were ill, did they? In accusing tones and then ignore him.
Id also ignore the comparisons. All children are different. If he wants your son to become more inquisitive for example then he, and he alone, will need to spend time and effort doing things with his child.

Since he likes comparisons so much perhaps he would constantly like to hear about how much of a better father Barry, Greg and Mohammed are?

Tell him your kid obviously has superior intelligence as he has already realised what a scam that bloody elf is.

My ex was a bit like this when our son was very small.

After watching the episode of Bluey “Baby race”, I spoke to my ex about it and how I thought it was really good for a kids cartoon to highlight that each kid is on their own journey and comparing just makes parents miserable. He agreed in theory but then kept comparing. So the next time he did it I would say, out loud to my son (who was about 5months old) in a funny voice “Baby race! Baby race! We’re in a baby race!” - or if it was just my ex I would still do the voice and go “ohhhh are we doing a baby race”.

Drove my ex up the wall and he soon stopped doing it so much.

Maybe petty and sarcastic wouldn’t work for you, OP, but you have my sympathy for how irritating that shit is.

YANBU.

But - all those of you introducing that feckin' elf into your lives have made an extra rod for your own backs. That's what I think.

As he's so into comparisons, tell him that you got in with work and looking after the dc whilst you were poorly, so he can put away his dressing gown of doom and go and do the food shopping today