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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To overspend on work Secret Santa?

45 replies

Silverpossum · 03/12/2022 06:48

With apols if this sounds a little tone deaf in the current climate.

First SS in probably 20 years... couldn't find anything decent looking for £10 which was the recommended limit and realised afterwards the items I ordered totalled £17.

Am I likely to be called out or is overspending ok/usual?? Sounds silly but I don't want the others to feel they were shortchanged with their gifts.

OP posts:
RambamThankyouMam · 03/12/2022 06:49

It's not really fair or in the spirit, if some people get a gift worth a tenner and some get something for £17. Just stick to the rules!

sittingonacornflake · 03/12/2022 06:50

I think it's hard to tell what anyone truly spends these days to be honest. Thee are so many random sales and discounts around. I wouldn't worry.

Gizlotsmum · 03/12/2022 06:50

It’s tricky, I think a pound or so over not an issue, nearly double possibly more of an issue. You say items, could you gift less?

Teadrinkingmumofone · 03/12/2022 06:50

one of the points of secrets Santa is to only spend a little.

Original poster
Silverpossum · 03/12/2022 06:53

Thanks all. I appreciate I got carried away and it seems a bit unfair... might see if I can find a cheaper version of one of the gifts and keep the original for a Christmas gift.

OP posts:
RoseAndRose · 03/12/2022 06:55

That's really not a fair overspend.

A near-miss (less than 10% over or under) is OK.

You went 70% over, which is too much.

Glad that you're rethinking!

Firen · 03/12/2022 07:00

Please don’t, someone overprint on mine and it felt quite embarrassing.

Isabellla · 03/12/2022 07:00

I don't think it's and issue I doubt people will be sat there totting up how much their gift cost! Sometimes you get good gifts in SS sometimes you get shite it's the luck of the draw!

RoachPussy · 03/12/2022 07:01

Don’t worry about it, I’d be surprised if anyone really says anything. In theory they won’t know who gave the gift and if they do work it out you can either say that it was on sale or you were happy to spend extra. Having taken part in too many SS I wouldn’t give it a second thought.

oopsfellover · 03/12/2022 07:03

Unless the gift looks oddly extravagant, I wouldn’t worry about this. SS is a bit of fun, quickly forgotten and not worth too
much mental energy. As a PP says, it can be hard to tell the value of something anyway.

TeenDivided · 03/12/2022 07:04

If you have bought 'gifts' totalling £17 then at least one will be £8.50 or less. Drop one of the gifts. Sorted.

QuiltedHippo · 03/12/2022 07:05

Not an issue no one will know if you get a good back Friday gift code or something

Cassillero · 03/12/2022 07:08

I clicked on this because I overspent - ours is £10 too. I got a deal on L'occitain Black Friday where if you spent so much you could buy a gift set worth 35 quid for 15. And then I got another 10% off for signing up to the newsletter making the overspend 3.50.

Can we not just say we got a black Friday deal? I've not done secret santa before. Does everyone open the gifts together or at home?

RoachPussy · 03/12/2022 07:15

Cassillero · 03/12/2022 07:08

I clicked on this because I overspent - ours is £10 too. I got a deal on L'occitain Black Friday where if you spent so much you could buy a gift set worth 35 quid for 15. And then I got another 10% off for signing up to the newsletter making the overspend 3.50.

Can we not just say we got a black Friday deal? I've not done secret santa before. Does everyone open the gifts together or at home?

It’s ultimately up to you. I stopped opening mine at work for a couple of years because I had a couple of duff SS previously and I had enough of feigning joy when it was a shit gift but I got over it and back into the spirit of SS where the majority open it there.

toastfiend · 03/12/2022 07:15

In my experience, most people overspend by a bit, plus there were a lot of good deals flying around on Black Friday - I got a Bodum £12 insulated travel mug for £3.95 so have bought my SS other stuff, too. It'll look like I've wildly overspent (£10 limit), but I haven't, really. I don't think anyone thinks much of it in reality.

BarbaraofSeville · 03/12/2022 07:18

TeenDivided · 03/12/2022 07:04

If you have bought 'gifts' totalling £17 then at least one will be £8.50 or less. Drop one of the gifts. Sorted.

This. Why not just buy one of the things for the £10 budget?

I hate it when people buy multiple small gifts to somehow make it more of a gift as it's often just random extra bits that no-one wants or needs.

Aprilx · 03/12/2022 07:18

I would have thought it quite easy to get something for £10, no need to overspend. My work suggested one with a £3 limit!

Dontaskdontget · 03/12/2022 07:19

Isabellla · 03/12/2022 07:00

I don't think it's and issue I doubt people will be sat there totting up how much their gift cost! Sometimes you get good gifts in SS sometimes you get shite it's the luck of the draw!

This

FTM2022SS · 03/12/2022 07:22

Personally I like to get my SS something I know they will like and pretty much always overspend by upto a fiver maybe. It's a small team, we get on well. But I always only expect something back worth the amount so would never feel peeved! As long as you are in this camp I think do as you like!

Mummadeze · 03/12/2022 07:25

I completely disagree with people saying to scale back. I think it is fine to give a generous but small appropriate gift that the person will really like. The limit is more of a guideline and in our team no one would bat an eyelid if someone spent a few pounds more.

LlynTegid · 03/12/2022 07:28

I don't think it's an issue myself.

I suggest if you are in the same job next autumn, you propose that secret Santa is replaced by a charity donation.

Veryactivenymphomaniac · 03/12/2022 07:29

Our secret Santa was £25, I wasnt consulted, just informed....we work for a charity, not a hedge fund!

TeenDivided · 03/12/2022 07:30

LlynTegid · 03/12/2022 07:28

I don't think it's an issue myself.

I suggest if you are in the same job next autumn, you propose that secret Santa is replaced by a charity donation.

At my work they said don't do Christmas cards, do presents for children in need and social services or someone came and collected them.

user1487194234 · 03/12/2022 07:31

I often overspend on SS
If it makes it a quicker/easier job that suits me fine

Mumdiva99 · 03/12/2022 07:31

I've overspent. My person asked for a silly something and a nice something. She has been lovely to me since I started so I am happy to get more. I hope she enjoys it.