AIBU for going very low contact with my dad?
my parents divorced when I was 2. I met my dad was I was 18. He came looking for me. He has never supported (bar the minimum maintenance) me financially despite being quite wealthy. I never asked. I’m in my 40’s his second family are in their 30’s. Spoilt and bailed out at every opportunity. Yes it hurts but that’s the way it’s always been.
I asked my dad for advice/planning in a niche area he works in. Asked three times it would have cost him nothing and he’s done it for his children and their partners. He ignored my request. This is the only time I’ve asked him. He has not supported me since maintenance stopped at 16 despite me going to college and uni. This hurt and with him not showing any interest.
i haven’t spoken to him since my birthday he said can I see you on you birthday? Which I was shocked about as he never does and thought the time spent with just him would lovely. I quickly realised that the reason was he was going to see me was he needed to do stuff for his other two kids. They ended up being invited my him too. He paid for their dinner and I was left to pay for mine.
They ended up changing the restaurant to suit them too which I know is my fault for not standing up to them. My birthday was not acknowledged. So I let things go didn’t contact him and now it’s been a year. My relationship with my mum is poor due to lots of abusive partners ‘step dads’
I’m gutted that he doesn’t show me 10% of the equality he shows his kids? He buys their boyfriends gifts but not me? Don’t think I’m being grabby it’s about the fairness of it all. I just wouldn’t do this to my kids. How do I say polite but firm when he makes his obligatory Xmas phone call? I want to have an argument but I know he thinks this is all me.