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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

"You can't have it for free",aibu?

360 replies

imacccu · 02/12/2022 15:00

So I'm at Manchester for the Christmas markets.
Spent £20 on a Greek sharing box to eat for lunch.
I ask for two forks and she tells me they've ran out and to get them from the Brazilian stand opposite.
So off I go and say "can I have two of the plastic forks please as the Greek stand have ran out"

She says "no I'm not allowed as you didn't buy food here,you can't expect them for free"
I said okay il buy a drink
She said no only food
The cheapest thing was £10
So I sad no
Aibu to think she could of gave me a plastic fork
Is this what the worlds came too?
She had a huge and I mean huge tub of cutlery

So we had to eat with our hands which was near impossible as it was coated in sauces etc

OP posts:
ReedRite · 02/12/2022 20:51

HotChoxs · 02/12/2022 20:48

The OP only went over there because the Greeks told her to get a fork from there.

Both you and these ridiculous Brazilians treat the OP like they just rocked up out of the blue and asked for one.

The OP even said why they were there.

There's no need to be rude to the OP.

Show quote history

Good point.

There’s an awful lot of people on this thread giving an opinion on what they imagined happened, when the OP has said no such thing. Posters are being rude based on how they think she must have behaved, on zero evidence.

poefaced · 02/12/2022 20:51

ReedRite · 02/12/2022 20:48

We’ve covered this up thread 👆It’s not the same, though in my experience the chains are usually happy to give out the odd cup/napkin/straw etc, if you ask politely. As are many local independents.

I’ve never come across such abject stinginess as exhibited on this thread, but perhaps it’s a regional thing/area specific. I’m in quite an affluent area, maybe that’s playing a part.

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I’m in quite an affluent area, maybe that’s playing a part.

This is ridiculous, affluent people have proven to be stingier than poor people.

angelikacpickles · 02/12/2022 20:53

thelobsterquadrille · 02/12/2022 16:38

So how many cups should they be expected to give away for free?

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One per bottled drink sold seems reasonable.

poefaced · 02/12/2022 20:54

angelikacpickles · 02/12/2022 20:53

One per bottled drink sold seems reasonable.

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Right?!

ReedRite · 02/12/2022 20:55

poefaced · 02/12/2022 20:51

I’m in quite an affluent area, maybe that’s playing a part.

This is ridiculous, affluent people have proven to be stingier than poor people.

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I’d love to see where this is proven. Can you link?

Though I agree with you that rich people can be incredibly mean and stingy too!

I was just musing on why it could be that so many on this thread think it’s right to be stingy and make a stand over a plastic fork, when I don’t experience that in my local area. And I’m in London, which generally doesn’t seem to have a reputation for friendliness. I’m finding it hard to wrap my head around the attitude.

HotChoxs · 02/12/2022 20:58

I just realised if they were running out of forks then they're as bad as the Greeks!

So either they're that, incapable of giving a 0.5% discount on a 200% profit margin, or just plain rude and incapable of running a business!

Abraxan · 02/12/2022 21:00

imacccu · 02/12/2022 15:06

It's a plastic fork
Hardly breaking the bank
I offered to buy a drink (at £3 ) so it wasn't like she was getting anything
The greek stall made it sound like they would help each other out

I suspect there are ongoing issues between the two and that's why they wouldn't let you have any. Maybe the Greek place are always running out of forks and the other place was constantly having to hand them over, and have decided to put a stop to it now.

poefaced · 02/12/2022 21:00

ReedRite · 02/12/2022 20:55

I’d love to see where this is proven. Can you link?

Though I agree with you that rich people can be incredibly mean and stingy too!

I was just musing on why it could be that so many on this thread think it’s right to be stingy and make a stand over a plastic fork, when I don’t experience that in my local area. And I’m in London, which generally doesn’t seem to have a reputation for friendliness. I’m finding it hard to wrap my head around the attitude.

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www.thelondoneconomic.com/news/environment/poor-people-really-are-more-charitable-than-the-rich-according-to-new-research-93441/

Here it is! I suppose chains are more likely to give things like napkins/water than indie restaurants.

Cheesuswithallama · 02/12/2022 21:03

Nah you keep being right and comparing well stocked chains where emoyees don't own shares in what's given away with tiny market stall where they have very limited supplies and often you can find owners/family in🙄
Totally same thing innit. It is the same like splash of milk or bit if lettuce. Cost and soace wise.

Again, in most, absolute most cases stall holders are happy to help each other the fact that these were not gives good probability that it's either not first time or they weren't even asked. These are the most probable, logical options.

But yeah, they are in a wrong for not being uber polite about it 🙄 while the other stall just waves people towards them.

Ah well.

HotChoxs · 02/12/2022 21:04

If it wasn't the first time there was no need to imply the OP was someone just rocking up to get a free fork was there?

Cheesuswithallama · 02/12/2022 21:04

poefaced · 02/12/2022 21:00

www.thelondoneconomic.com/news/environment/poor-people-really-are-more-charitable-than-the-rich-according-to-new-research-93441/

Here it is! I suppose chains are more likely to give things like napkins/water than indie restaurants.

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Of course they are. They have better contracts thanks to buying power. What costs indie a pound, costs costa most likely 50p...
If you buy regularly 30million straws, you will of course get them waaaay cheaper than if you buy 3 thousand.

rwalker · 02/12/2022 21:05

ReedRite · 02/12/2022 20:48

We’ve covered this up thread 👆It’s not the same, though in my experience the chains are usually happy to give out the odd cup/napkin/straw etc, if you ask politely. As are many local independents.

I’ve never come across such abject stinginess as exhibited on this thread, but perhaps it’s a regional thing/area specific. I’m in quite an affluent area, maybe that’s playing a part.

Show quote history

it not stinginess when they give there forks away and run out for there own customers what do they do there quite right to refuse

doesn’t sound like OP just accept no when they said it they were obviously that pissed off they wouldn’t even sell her one

HotChoxs · 02/12/2022 21:09

rwalker · 02/12/2022 21:05

it not stinginess when they give there forks away and run out for there own customers what do they do there quite right to refuse

doesn’t sound like OP just accept no when they said it they were obviously that pissed off they wouldn’t even sell her one

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We've been over it. If that's the excuse then there was no need for them to be rude to the OP who had already explained the situation.

Either they're rude, incompetent, or both.

ReedRite · 02/12/2022 21:10

poefaced · 02/12/2022 21:00

www.thelondoneconomic.com/news/environment/poor-people-really-are-more-charitable-than-the-rich-according-to-new-research-93441/

Here it is! I suppose chains are more likely to give things like napkins/water than indie restaurants.

Show quote history

That’s so interesting, thank-you. I’m not surprised in many ways.

I didn’t articulate it, but I was kind of wondering if in less wealthy areas the food places will have tighter margins and therefore be less able to be generous.

Yes, staff in the chains will be less invested in profit margins perhaps.

Our independents in my local area are very friendly and helpful and wouldn’t dream of refusing to give a plastic fork, but I guess they are completely dependent on building up a loyal local clientele. And when a cup of coffee and a slice of cake doesn’t leave you much change out of £8, I guess they can afford to be generous with the odd cup or fork! And not to do so would really not be giving out the right vibe.

Cheesuswithallama · 02/12/2022 21:13

ReedRite · 02/12/2022 21:10

That’s so interesting, thank-you. I’m not surprised in many ways.

I didn’t articulate it, but I was kind of wondering if in less wealthy areas the food places will have tighter margins and therefore be less able to be generous.

Yes, staff in the chains will be less invested in profit margins perhaps.

Our independents in my local area are very friendly and helpful and wouldn’t dream of refusing to give a plastic fork, but I guess they are completely dependent on building up a loyal local clientele. And when a cup of coffee and a slice of cake doesn’t leave you much change out of £8, I guess they can afford to be generous with the odd cup or fork! And not to do so would really not be giving out the right vibe.

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People are also way less cheeky in actual business with premises and tables.

Takeaways and stalls bring out the worst in people for some reason. That's why they also have to be usually tough.

ReedRite · 02/12/2022 21:13

rwalker · 02/12/2022 21:05

it not stinginess when they give there forks away and run out for there own customers what do they do there quite right to refuse

doesn’t sound like OP just accept no when they said it they were obviously that pissed off they wouldn’t even sell her one

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If they genuinely couldn’t give away a single fork for fear of running out early for their own customers, they could have spent 10 seconds explaining that nicely to OP.

Emotionalsupportviper · 02/12/2022 21:14

thelobsterquadrille · 02/12/2022 17:54

Exactly.

I'm not sure why the Brazilian stall is being slated - it's the Greek stall that's displaying shit business decisions!

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I agree.

The Brazilian stall might have got a lot more customers if the Greek one had been upfront about having no cutlery - that might be what is peeing them off. Not only that they being expected to provide free forks, but they are being cheated of trade.

ReedRite · 02/12/2022 21:15

Cheesuswithallama · 02/12/2022 21:04

Of course they are. They have better contracts thanks to buying power. What costs indie a pound, costs costa most likely 50p...
If you buy regularly 30million straws, you will of course get them waaaay cheaper than if you buy 3 thousand.

Show quote history

I’m not sure the staff in Costa and Starbucks will be that focused on the cost per unit of each sundry, but someone in the management chain will be. Just probably not the people on the ground.

poefaced · 02/12/2022 21:16

ReedRite · 02/12/2022 21:13

If they genuinely couldn’t give away a single fork for fear of running out early for their own customers, they could have spent 10 seconds explaining that nicely to OP.

Show quote history

They did explain, not very nicely, but maybe OP is an unreliable narrator. It doesn’t seem like a Christmas market stall would talk like to customers.

HotChoxs · 02/12/2022 21:18

ReedRite · 02/12/2022 21:13

If they genuinely couldn’t give away a single fork for fear of running out early for their own customers, they could have spent 10 seconds explaining that nicely to OP.

Show quote history

I'm not sure how the OP wouldn't accept no, when they accepted it and offered to buy something instead. It's not like anyone would of taken on board that the stall is as back as the Greeks and doesn't bring some extra forks with them so can't give a fork away when someone purchases an item.

The OP was perfectly reasonable.

HotChoxs · 02/12/2022 21:20

poefaced · 02/12/2022 21:16

They did explain, not very nicely, but maybe OP is an unreliable narrator. It doesn’t seem like a Christmas market stall would talk like to customers.

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Would it seem like a Christmas stall would serve some food when they've run out of forks and another stall can't help out?

ReedRite · 02/12/2022 21:20

poefaced · 02/12/2022 21:16

They did explain, not very nicely, but maybe OP is an unreliable narrator. It doesn’t seem like a Christmas market stall would talk like to customers.

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It sounded to me like they were trying to bilk the OP out of £10, rather than explaining nicely.

Cheesuswithallama · 02/12/2022 21:22

ReedRite · 02/12/2022 21:15

I’m not sure the staff in Costa and Starbucks will be that focused on the cost per unit of each sundry, but someone in the management chain will be. Just probably not the people on the ground.

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I am not dosagreeing that was actually my argument to why chains are more willing to give things before on the thread

HoppingPavlova · 02/12/2022 21:22

Nope. It’s up to the Greek stall to go over to the Brazilian and say ‘can I have a handful of your forks please as I’ve run out and I’ll bring a handful back over tomorrow at set up and make sure I’m not short again’. You should be miffed at the Greek stall, not the Brazilian.

Cheesuswithallama · 02/12/2022 21:23

ReedRite · 02/12/2022 21:20

It sounded to me like they were trying to bilk the OP out of £10, rather than explaining nicely.

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Tbf with that rents on stalls, who wouldn't 😂