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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To get irritated when people say they have the flu...

30 replies

HappyGoLuckyLuLu · 02/12/2022 12:08

...(obviously not if they genuinely do) ... as people say this all the time when really they just have a cold and feel a bit pants. Their 'flu' (aka a common cold) is normally gone in a few days max whereas flu proper lasts a good 1-2 weeks, comes with fever, full body aches, vomiting, inability literally to get out of bed, and all sorts of other ailments along the way.

I just wish people would hold off pronouncing themselves as having the flu and keep that for when they really do have it. I know, I know, it's not a great deal in the grand scheme, but it's bugging me as have heard it from several different people in the last few weeks (one of whom is in hospital undergoing long-term care and it was the clinical care team who said it, which was immensely worrying given person's current overall medical status, but then actually it wasn't flu, it was just a cold and person was OK again after a few days, thankfully, but way to scare the crap out of all the family telling us they had flu).

For goodness sake people, more often than not it's just a crappy cold.

(With apologies to anyone who actually is currently or recently really laid up with actual flu - you have my sympathies and well wishes). For those of you with a snotty congested common cold, get a grip - but also get well soon ;)

OP posts:
malificent7 · 02/12/2022 12:09

I have a cold..it has lasted a week...i feel rough. I can get out of bed but can't work and have vomited.

WiseUpJanetWeiss · 02/12/2022 12:11

People can get flu relatively mildly, or it can floor them. A bit like COVID really.

AllPlayedOut · 02/12/2022 12:16

YABU. Flu can be mild or even asymptomatic plus a cold can be as bad as your "standard" flu for some. It is for me. My colds last weeks, sometimes require hospital treatment and then I have post viral symptoms for 3-4 months.

Keyansier · 02/12/2022 12:18

Why are you trying to gatekeep flu? It's not a club. How bizarre.

Luredbyapomegranate · 02/12/2022 12:21

You are right, but the trouble is cold is such a broad term -

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 02/12/2022 12:21

I always say something more vague like a “coldy/ fluey bug” if it’s that kind of “bad cold but you feel awful” territory. Then I’m not diagnosing myself either way!

Startuplife · 02/12/2022 12:22

The latest one is people saying they have tonsillitis when they’re going about their normal lives with a sore throat. Seems to be people all over my social media at the moment.

VariationsonaTheme · 02/12/2022 12:22

Dd was told she had ‘mild flu’ by the GP, I think it comes in degrees of severity and not everyone is floored by it.

KitchiHuritAngeni · 02/12/2022 12:23

This comes round every year, the flu gatekeeping is ridiculous.

I had flu once, tested and confirmed (for reasons not actually pertaining to the flu itself) and it felt like a bit of a shit cold. I wasn't vomiting or whatever.

Does it really matter what other people say? Unless you're one of those "I have it worse" martyrs.

User963 · 02/12/2022 12:23

Technically you are incorrect. Since covid I have discovered that up to half of infections of influenza are asymptomatic and many other cases will just be “cold like” in symptoms depending on levels of pre-existing immunity so YAbu

User963 · 02/12/2022 12:24

Although YANBU in that most people don’t really understand virology and use the term flu to mean unwell rather than an infection with the influenza virus.

Bimbleberries · 02/12/2022 12:25

Flu really doesn't always feel bad.

People can have it (back when they were testing for bird flu, for example, people were actually told) and still feel totally asymptomatic even, or just a mild cold.

We only hear about the really bad cases, and so then you get people spouting the nonsense about "if you wouldn't get out of bed to get that £20 note, it's not flu", when it totally could be. It's got a range of symptoms and severity like any other virus.

BashfulClam · 02/12/2022 12:25

My friend and her husband say flu when it’s a virus that is short lived. I have had glue 3 times, twice was awful no and I would have welcomed the grim reaper. Once was not bad but I was swabbed by the GP and diagnosed with flu. I managed to drive to the Doctor’s surgery and that floored me energywise. With one of the bc hours I started getting ill at a friends house. Got in my car to go and started to cry with how shit I felt and also didn’t think I could drive.

neverbeenskiing · 02/12/2022 12:27

flu proper lasts a good 1-2 weeks, comes with fever, full body aches, vomiting, inability literally to get out of bed, and all sorts of other ailments along the way.

I was a HCP in a former life and caught H1N1 (swine flu) off the ward. It was fucking horrible but I didn't vomit and I could definitely get out of bed...I didn't want to get out of bed, but I was perfectly capable of getting up to go to the toilet, make a drink etc.

I've seen it trotted out on here many times that its not the flu if you can get up and walk to the toilet which is a load of old nonsense. How badly you are floored by the flu will depend on your age, general health, the particular strain of flu you get, and other factors.

Sparklesocks · 02/12/2022 12:27

Sometimes if people have a bad cold but they might call it flu if they’re feeling very rough/can’t properly function to get across that it’s really affecting them, as colds are often dismissed as just the sniffles that you get on with.

orchid220 · 02/12/2022 12:27

I get a bit irritated by people stating that it isn't flu if you are able to get out of bed etc.

Hoardasurass · 02/12/2022 12:28

I've had "proper" flue twice the 1st time it hospitalised me the 2nd time I only knew I had it because it was picked up in a screening program as I had such a mild case I thought I had a slight cold

OnlyFannys · 02/12/2022 12:29

I agree and it's a bug bear of mine too but that's possibly because I nearly died from the flu and was in hospital for weeks recovering from pneumonia

Sunnysideup999 · 02/12/2022 12:33

I don’t think OP is trying to ‘gate keep’ flu 🙄 - just point out that the flu is a separate and distinct infectious virus . You only know it if you have it if you have been tested for it via nasal swap (which isn’t routinely done ).
I had it once and it was confirmed as influenza B diagnosed by a private doctor.
It’s misleading to say you have flu when you are wandering around with a runny nose and cough . You can say you have ‘flu like symptoms’ - which is different from having a diagnosed and confirmed strain of flu .

Original poster
HappyGoLuckyLuLu · 02/12/2022 12:38

Ooo love a lot of controversy around a mostly light hearted topic - main reason for posting was irritation at 'flu' being pronounced at the first hint without even a swab being taken on the person who is already in a bad way in hospital - I do fully appreciate that there's a range of symptoms and some will be able to get out of bed, and some won't vomit, and sometimes common cold rhinovirus will have nasty symptoms. But in any case -- don't let your angst at a Mumsnet thread ruin your day (unless you get you enjoy doing the take down of a poster, which I suspect many do, in which case, carry on, no skin off my nose really).

No actual gatekeeping here - you all can carry on calling it flu, but please use with caution if talking about someone who has secondary conditions for whom actual influenza would be immediately life threatening.

OP posts:
BogRollBOGOF · 02/12/2022 12:44

I've never knowingly had the flu. One time I thought I had it but it tested as campylobacter in the end.

It's pointless trying to police how people describe an illness when the vast majority of the time there's no testing for it anyway- you've got as much chance of identifying it incorrectly as they have.

I'd generally refer to something respiritory as a cold, and save flu for additional symptoms like fever and aches, it doesn't mean that I'm being accurate.

PeloFondo · 02/12/2022 12:44

Startuplife · 02/12/2022 12:22

The latest one is people saying they have tonsillitis when they’re going about their normal lives with a sore throat. Seems to be people all over my social media at the moment.

I'm v jealous of people who get it mildly
Mine is always can't swallow my own spit, temperature, pus all over tonsils Envy grim
Every time I go to the doctors "it might be viral" then they look at my throat, back away and prescribe antibiotics Grin

Original poster
HappyGoLuckyLuLu · 02/12/2022 12:48

Eesh yes the one time I had tonsillitis a few years ago the pain was worse than childbirth

OP posts:
SinisterBumFacedCat · 02/12/2022 12:56

Respiratory symptoms in colds and flu can lead to breathing difficulties for me, I can be completely floored by a cold if it leaves me breathless for a fortnight due to asthma or gives me severe enough neuralgia that I can’t get out of bed. If it is caused by a cold or flu it’s beside the point.

Simplelivingisharderthanitlooks · 02/12/2022 12:57

Is "flu-like symptoms" better than saying the flu?

I have only been tested for flu once in my life - swine flu (very ill), I wouldn't bother the doctor for a diagnosis usually and I certainly wouldn't bring flu-like me into the doctors surgeries spreading my germs.

I have probably had the flu 4/5 time in my life - I have suspected I have had it maybe 15 times? It is sometimes only retrospectively that you realise it only lasted 3 days and only felt terrible for 1/2 of them....

I've thought about it. I am still going to say I have the flu when I have a bad cold. But I will be more careful when diagnosing others!