To think my friend was being ridiculous?

[aqubac]

Friend is staying with me at the moment.

DS1(18) is bi/gay, he isn't ‘out’ to many of us as he's told me he isn't ready and he still doesn't like/feel confident saying it which is fine and I've told him there's no rush etc. Friend is one of the few people that know. DS2(9) also knows. Me and friend overheard a conversation a few weeks ago between them both, DS2 asked DS1 if he had a boyfriend which he said no to, DS2 then asked if he liked both, he said maybe then DS2 said he thinks he does as well. DS1 didn't make a big deal of it and just said ok and then DS2 changed the subject.

I haven't mentioned anything to DS2, as he's only 9 so he probably doesn't know but if he does end up being bi then that's fine and he knows it is.

Earlier, DS2 asked DS1 to paint his nails like his which DS1 has agreed to this weekend. Friend has said to me DS1 is pushing his sexuality onto DS2, as they're siblings he'll copy anything DS1 does and DS1 shouldn't have came out to DS2 anyway as he's a child etc.

AIBU in thinking she was being ridiculous or was she right?

She is being utterly rediculous.

Shes being ridiculous!!

Of course she’s being ridiculous.

Sexuality isn't something that can be 'pushed onto' anyone ffs. This would make me question the friendship tbh.

Right now he’s copying his brother I suspect, but you fancy who you fancy you can’t make someone gay , she’s a fucking idiot.

She's being totally ridiculous. If talking about sexuality could change someone's, every lgbtqia+ person would've been straight by the time they'd finished watching Peppa Pig.

I'd be having a very firm conversation with her.

She isn’t just being ridiculous, she’s being homophobic. The idea that you can “catch gay”. Idiot.

The idea that he shouldn't have come out to his brother because he's a child is overt homophobia. Being bi, or gay, is not a scary/dangerous/immoral concept that children should be shielded from.
Honestly I'd be rethinking how welcome she is in my home.

Yep, she's a fucking idiot.

If you can’t be out as gay because kids might catch it, why isn’t heterosexuality catching since most of them will have straight parents…

Totally agree with this... your younger boy is copying his big brother and I think it's quite lovely your 18yr old would take the time to paint his little brothers nails 'just like his' 🥹 but he's not pushing his sexuality on him and it's certainly not going to make him gay/bi... what a ridiculous statement... and as pp said, I'd be having words and reconsidering my friendship tbh

Your friend is being homophonic.

Your friend is being ridiculous. I’d be thinking about whether it was time for them to leave, tbh. Your DSs’ behaviour is none of their business.

YANBU you can't 'make' someone gay or bi. Your friend should keep out of it, I think she is pushing her ignorance.

re you seriously questioning if shes wrong

tell her to leave you cant catch gay

She’s being ridiculous and homophobic. I wouldn’t want her anywhere near my children.

Yeah, ridiculous.
God only knows where my youngest caught bi from, given that she’s got two straight marriages (divorce and remarriage), two straight older sisters, two straight stepbrothers… etc etc.
Maybe from a public loo seat? 🤷🏻‍♀️

I’d find it hard not to take the absolute piss out of my friend.

Shes dangerously stupid and I wouldn't want her near my children

Yeesh. Reminds me of when a friend asked me how I had explained gay to my preschool child. My brother is married to a man and my best friend is married to a woman, my neighbour across the landing was gay and my SIL is bi (and running through partners at a rate of knots at that point), I never had to explain anything, no one explained the heterosexual relationships they say ever day either.

nothing like a bit of homophobia to make you re-evaluate friendships.

Your boys sound lovely op. Your friend is a dickhead.

Absolute idiot and I’d tell her as much. You sound like a fantastic mum letting your kids be themselves.

She's being utterly ridiculous.

Painted nails have nothing to do with sexuality. A 9 year old who copies his brother is perfectly standard, gay or straight.

It so happens your older son is bi, but ... honestly, could your younger son have said anything more non-committal? So he thinks he might like both men and women, and he's all of 9? Your friend really needs to take a look at herself if she thinks this is cause for concern. It is totally standard and fine for children to have innocent crushes on either sex, or both, or neither.

He's copying some of what his brother does because his big brother is cool to him but he's not going to snog or have sex with men later on just to be like him. And the nail varnish etc has nothing to do with sexuality. I snogged a very lovely striaght guy in nail varnish and eyeliner when I was much younger 🤪.

Exactly this. Put her right or bin her off.