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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

School banning a single year group from nativity

72 replies

letsgoonthebigslide · 01/12/2022 21:32

Im name changing because it's outing.

Our local paper did an article on a school because they are excluding year one parents from going to Nativity.

Theres two plays, nursery and reception do one together and year one and year two do a second one together.

The nursery and reception parents can go to the nursery and reception play.

The year two parents can go to the year one and year two play.

The year one parents have been told they aren't allowed to go to the year one and two play. The reason given is sickness, covid, colds and flu etc. The year one parents feel unhappy about it.

YABU- the school is right

YANBU- the school is wrong

Link to the article
www.bracknellnews.co.uk/news/23160308.frustration-parents-banned-bracknell-nativity-play/

OP posts:
Suffrajitsu · 02/12/2022 08:52

DashboardConfessional · 01/12/2022 21:54

"While nursery and reception parents are able to watch their child’s performance in the school hall, unfortunately, due to a significant number of pupil and staff absences (due to COVID, flu and colds), we have had to make the very difficult decision to only allow Year 2 parents to watch the combined Year 1 and 2 nativity in school."

This comment from the school makes absolutely no sense. What has the mention of the school hall got to do with it?

I think it possibly refers to the fact that they are making arrangements to film the performance.

Pineconederby · 02/12/2022 08:52

Typical school disorganisation, with the reasons given having no basis in science. I’d move my child, there is no arguing with stupidity!

Itsjustmeyousee · 02/12/2022 11:34

Just a bit of background info here from an actual parent of year one child. Children were told by teachers there parents could go - tickets were released then email sent by Head saying year one would no longer be able to purchase tickets the day they were released, FOUR days after saying we could go. We spoke to headteacher to find alternative arrangements and he was not interested. Suggestions included splitting year one & year two to perform separately or have year one do an outdoor choir so parents could attend. He wasn’t interested.

If Covid, colds and flus were an issue then why organise a show for both years together in the first place?

the argument is NOT about the reasons behind his decision - it’s how it’s been handled. He could have made an effort to find another way of making it work. The communication has been apppauling, kids are disraught. The argument is NOT in jealousy over year two - absolutely not! Year two parents absolutely should see their kids perform - this is their last opportunity to do so.

His attitude of “year two get priority as they are the ones on stage” is appauling.

There’s so much more to this story than people know.

The parent is now going out of her way, at her own cost, to arrange a nativity for the kids with two weeks notice - that are missing out on performing in front of their parents to make sure they have a chance to do it - why couldn’t the school have done this?!!!!! Who knows what’s going to happen next year?

twistymo · 02/12/2022 11:49

sunflowerdaisyrose · 02/12/2022 08:09

YANBU. Way to tell those who are 'just' the choir that their part in the nativity is so insignificant no one can even come to watch! Terrible decision.

Disgusting quote from the school. I'd be fuming if someone said that about my son!

WishingWell5 · 02/12/2022 12:05

It's ridiculous. Complete batshit crazy.

But the amount of people agreeing with it is what's even more worrying....

YellowTreeHouse · 02/12/2022 12:07

It’s stupid. I’d just turn up anyway 🤷‍♀️

WishingWell5 · 02/12/2022 12:08

I love the old argument of 'It happened to my daughter once, so therefore it should happen to yours too'

PinkHeadphones · 02/12/2022 12:10

DCs' primary school used to do this. I can't remember if it was nativity or harvest festival or maybe both. It didn't bother me ; you got the chance to see your kids when their time came round. It wouldn't have bothered my kids either, they would have understood that year whatever had the main role in the performance and their turn would come.

Although of course when Covid hit some years missed out on "their time", but so many people missed out on things anyway.

ChilomenaPunk · 02/12/2022 12:17

They should definitely make more effort to include parents of all children performing, particularly as I bet this is the first play the Year Ones will have done, as their nursery and reception years were blighted with Covid restrictions.

Comefromaway · 02/12/2022 12:18

If it were my child they would not be performing in the choir. (I don't know if it is in school hours or not but if in school hours I would be keeping them off).

WishingWell5 · 02/12/2022 12:22

I agree that there are high rates of colds, sickness and illness again this year ... as a result of lockdowns and social isolating ...
Oh I know! Let's continue to social isolate! Good idea!!!

Hillarious · 02/12/2022 12:24

There's probably a whole group of Year 1 parents relieved that they don't have to go and watch other people's children perform in the school nativity!

twistymo · 02/12/2022 12:25

WishingWell5 · 02/12/2022 12:22

I agree that there are high rates of colds, sickness and illness again this year ... as a result of lockdowns and social isolating ...
Oh I know! Let's continue to social isolate! Good idea!!!

The problem in this case seems to be the fact that Covid, colds and flu doesn't not seem to be applicable to reception & nursery as they're smaller groups - so the head should have split year one and year two plays/choirs! His decision making is rotten. No empathy for the kids whatsoever. He shouldn't be in charge of a school

ChilomenaPunk · 02/12/2022 12:26

WishingWell5 · 02/12/2022 12:22

I agree that there are high rates of colds, sickness and illness again this year ... as a result of lockdowns and social isolating ...
Oh I know! Let's continue to social isolate! Good idea!!!

Quite. If I were a parent of a Y1 child I'd be so looking forward to a more "normal" build up to Christmas at school for my DC as it would be the first time it had been that way. I'd be livid about being excluded.

SquirrelFan · 02/12/2022 12:27

So the school may well have mishandled the communications and that's understandably upsetting; however I think they did the right thing and that the Y2s should take precedence.
The article was very biased, failing to note that testing is neither free, nor widespread, nor is it encouraged to report test results; and that a positive covid test is no longer an excuse to not come to work - of course hardly any cases have been reported!

BogRollBOGOF · 02/12/2022 12:31

Pointless, divisive and an excellent way to damage the school community and home/ school relationships.

The children are mixing anyway. Parents go of their own free will. We've spent 2+ years destructively playing with the fact that reducing social contact will not cut down on regular respiritory illnesses in the long run; it just rebounds back in the end and hits the general population harder as they don't constantly update their immune systems.

Events like nativities have been done for decade after decade because they develop valuable social and performance skills as well as a cultural value. Performing in front of parents is valuable to young children. The choir should be valued as much as the main parts. Music and arts deserve to be valued and are already devalued by the curriculum and funding.

twistymo · 02/12/2022 12:32

SquirrelFan · 02/12/2022 12:27

So the school may well have mishandled the communications and that's understandably upsetting; however I think they did the right thing and that the Y2s should take precedence.
The article was very biased, failing to note that testing is neither free, nor widespread, nor is it encouraged to report test results; and that a positive covid test is no longer an excuse to not come to work - of course hardly any cases have been reported!

Is it still right to give them precidence & still have year one kids take part meaning year two parents get to see year ones first ever nativity? Would you feel ok if you were forced into a situation where you're told that another parent would see your child's first steps or hear their first words? In no way whatsoever is this right.

It would have been kinder to find alternative arrangements so that they could attend

TrashyPanda · 02/12/2022 12:34

That’s barking mad. Why not 2 performances?
Not sure if the performances are during school day or in evening. If in evening it’s crazy to expect parents to take them back in and then hang around/go back home. Suspect many would just not bother.

Busybody2022 · 02/12/2022 12:38

The school are ridiculous! Allow both or neither and live stream it. Poor kids

howmanybicycles · 02/12/2022 12:38

TheaBrandt · 01/12/2022 21:39

Sounds quite sensible. They’re only in the choir and they are putting on a carol service at a later date. But I’m a year 6 2020 parent whose child missed everything related to leaving primary and she took it on the chin with good Grace aged 11. Maybe you should take a leaf out of her book.

Ditto and ditto.

My son lost did not do his SATs, did not have the treat afterwards, lost the residential he'd been looking forward to for 3 years, then the special residential for year 7's and all school Xmas celebrations for 2 years. This seems a little more proportionate.

Flapjackquack · 02/12/2022 12:39

I am getting really fed up of “because covid”. We are at a point where vaccination rates are high, the current strains are weaker. It now needs to be treated like any other virus. In fact there are much worse ones you can get now.

Our nursery had one case of covid a few weeks ago so it’s back to all in masks, parents only allowed to the door, yet 3-4 children had RSV and none of this was done.

My cousin recently got ill at Uni and her house mates forced her to buy covid tests even though she was very short of funds. It was negative not that that means anything really. She was staying away from them in her room, only using the kitchen when it was clear, lots of hand washing as you should if you are ill.

Remember when you had a virus, you didn’t know the name of it but still got on with life and just kept away from people. Well the sensible ones did.

Busybody2022 · 02/12/2022 12:41

The year 6 comparison is moot. A) They were older to understand B) everyone was in the same boat

I have a year 3 child who lost a huge amount, and a year 1 child. It makes me sad to know my Y3 never got a Y1 nativity, I'd be upset to not be able to attend my Y1s when it's going ahead because of a daft decision. It isnt a race to the bottom.

WishingWell5 · 02/12/2022 12:42

And the recent tragic Strep A cases are likely due to a reduction in immunity due to stupidity like this ... when will people get on with their lives?
And if your child suffered (wrongfully or rightly, but my vote is on wrongfully, knowing what we now know) why do you want others to suffer too? Will it make you feel better?

IhearyouClemFandango · 02/12/2022 12:42

The year 1 kids are only singing in a choir supporting the year 2s and presumably will have their 'show' next year. I really couldn't get het up about this tbh.

There are so many threads on here at the moment about the amount of illness going around.

IhearyouClemFandango · 02/12/2022 12:43

howmanybicycles · 02/12/2022 12:38

Ditto and ditto.

My son lost did not do his SATs, did not have the treat afterwards, lost the residential he'd been looking forward to for 3 years, then the special residential for year 7's and all school Xmas celebrations for 2 years. This seems a little more proportionate.

And this tbh.