To ask what we should be doing

[elephantmarchingin]

DS if my first child. He is now 3 1/2, he has not yet started nursery however will be going for 2 days per week come January.
We have been to visit some schools this week and with one the head teacher said that she would expect children to be able to read somewhat before they started and be able to write their name.
So how the hell do I teach this. We read books, we sing songs, we draw pictures he is good at navigating his kindle to play his games (mostly numberblocks and toy story!) And he is good at counting but I have no idea how you teach these things

Can anyone help here or tell me what I'm supposed to do, it's really panicked me!

Yes I'm shamelessly posting for traffic!

Never?!? I agree it's not required expected or common but it's also not unheard of

Please don’t worry. My DS is the same as yours; he seems very bright and articulate, but I can’t get him to take an interest in holding a pen or pencil for longer than two minutes, he still scribbles like a small toddler and certainly can’t read!

He can recognize most letters, but can’t read at all, and I’d be surprised if he can by the time he goes to school aged 4 yrs 5 months. Please don’t worry.

My son could write his name by 3.5 but he can’t read and he’s 4. He won’t go to school until next September so he will be 5 and by then I guess he will be starting to learn to read. Teaching to write their name is a bit easier than writing and is all about repetition so maybe start with that now!

This is definitely unreasonable. Presumably they will be starting some phonics in school so you could look at those. Most early years teachers are much more concerned about encouraging independence skills such as toileting, getting shoes on etc than reading.

Twinkl have some free reading and writing resources on their site. I wouldn't worry as most children start school without being able to read or write. Maybe some free pages tracing letters and the first few high frequency words might help.

My middle child could read before reception, he could also write a few simple words. I got told off by the school because they wanted him to learn by the methods they used and he wasn't good at the phonics method.

However he was really behind socially and emotionally and still struggles with talking to people unless he is very comfortable with them. He got an ASD diagnosis at 5 and they said it's quite common for advancement in one area.

Life was a bit chaotic for us at that time. My youngest spent over a year in hospital and the older two spent a lot of their time with two of my friends who had slightly older children. I think that's how he learned and I didn't actually realise he was properly reading. I knew he could write because he wrote all over the landing wall, mostly the word "bum" 🙄 and then when I told him off he slipped a note saying "I hat you Mummy you is a poo" under my bedroom door. 😂

The teacher told me he was one of the the only children who came to school reading and writing but by seven he was behind his peers and hasn't ever really caught up.

Ha, no. My son is 4 (he won't start school till September but is going to be one or the oldest in his year. He's not reading yet and although he can recognise phonics now, I doubt he'll be reading by the time he starts school. He doesn't hold his pencil properly either but I'm not concerned. I'm a teacher and have a PhD in Education, and I really think pushing kids too quickly backfires.

DD is 3.5
She's been able to recognise her name written down for a while. She was able to copy it as of about a month ago and yesterday she wrote it without needing to copy.

It's just involved a lot of repetition. She was signing Christmas cards so, although she was writing her name, she might have just learnt the shapes. It's also only 4 quite easy letters long. She can recognise letters and tell us what they are (and numbers) but she's a long way off reading.

Thank you all it's really reassuring!
We will start harder work on the name writing/recognising as that seems more important at this stage.
He is a Very late June baby so will be among the younger ones when he goes.

I wouldn't worry at all about reading but I would start teaching a bit of writing, so that your DC starts school able to write their name if possible. My DS attended nursery from 2 1/2 but was never interested in drawing etc and barely held a pencil before starting Reception. Everyone had been telling me not to worry about it but actually he had a difficult time in Reception as he didn't have the fine motor skills and strength in his fingers to enable him to start writing. In reality he was a long way 'behind' his peers and though he's caught up now (mid year 1) I really regret not doing some writing with him at home before school. Just my experience.

I dont think they need to learn to read. However if they enjoy it they can start looking at individual letters. There are loads of free online games or jigsaw type games where you have to match a letter to a picture that starts with the same sound. My daughter liked a letter puzzle. But I wouldn't push it unless they are interested and enjoy it, I actually know some parents of kids who could read quite well at pre school and they're annoyed that they are starting phonics fr scratch in reception and looking at books without words

Also fine motor skills for writing can be built up in other ways like colouring, doing playdoh, threading little things on strings etc

There is no expectation for children to be able to read sentences before they start school. However the number of parents who seemingly do not bother teaching their children to read any words whatsoever is shameful.

It generally seems that the school is supposed to do 100% of the educating. Lo and behold and school that dares suggesting parents should give their children a head start before reaching school age.

No reason at all that the majority of children should not be able to recognise/read their name and another 10 or so words. Other than lazy parenting.

I think it's more people don't know how best to teach. I wouldn't describe myself as lazy!

What does she think school is for then? I'd think twice about this place.