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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

If you can’t make it work full time, go part time.

93 replies

Pineconederby · 01/12/2022 08:33

Teacher at DC’s school. Appears to have numerous childcare issues from what we’ve been told. Barely makes it through a week without being off for this or that, but tells the DC it’s because she needs to look after her little one.

AIBU to think that she should be supported to go part time, rather than trying to eke out a full time job, which she is very clearly not doing? Multiple complaints made by parents, school not particularly receptive. This is a new member of staff who started in September, supposedly full time, and has completed just two entire weeks in the classroom since then.

At the start, I was sympathetic. Now, not so much. It’s really started to affect DC’s attitude to school, they are left with the (not amazing) TA when the teacher isn’t in and seem to complete endless worksheets but not much else. At parents’ evening it was pretty clear she didn’t have a clue who DC was, or what their abilities were (made a glaringly obvious mistake and referenced a different child 😳). I know teachers tend to be sacred on here but really? Is this the standard that’s deemed acceptable these days?

OP posts:
MolliciousIntent · 01/12/2022 08:37

You have absolutely no idea what is happening in her personal life. Sometimes shit happens and work has to take a back seat. in some cases it then makes sense to drop your hours, and in some cases that would be catastrophic. Keep your nose out of her business. Your issue is with the school not providing an adequate education for your child, not with the teacher. If you're not happy with the set up, complain to the school or move your child. Don't put the responsibility on the teacher.

Teadrinkingmumofone · 01/12/2022 08:37

If she's not doing her job properly as a result of not being in work as she should then yanbu thinking she needs to sort something out. However, it seems like you only have the children's say so that is child care issues. It could be something medical for all you know. In which case sounds like she's doing what she can and as the school clearly aren't rushing to put any other measures in place I wouldn't place the blame at the teachers door.

Teadrinkingmumofone · 01/12/2022 08:38

Teadrinkingmumofone · 01/12/2022 08:37

If she's not doing her job properly as a result of not being in work as she should then yanbu thinking she needs to sort something out. However, it seems like you only have the children's say so that is child care issues. It could be something medical for all you know. In which case sounds like she's doing what she can and as the school clearly aren't rushing to put any other measures in place I wouldn't place the blame at the teachers door.

And even if it is child care issues it may well be something serious, like child medical appointments or loss of childcare due to bereavement for 3xample. You really don't know.

RambamThankyouMam · 01/12/2022 08:39

MolliciousIntent · 01/12/2022 08:37

You have absolutely no idea what is happening in her personal life. Sometimes shit happens and work has to take a back seat. in some cases it then makes sense to drop your hours, and in some cases that would be catastrophic. Keep your nose out of her business. Your issue is with the school not providing an adequate education for your child, not with the teacher. If you're not happy with the set up, complain to the school or move your child. Don't put the responsibility on the teacher.

So we should just let people do whatever they like and not meet the clauses of their work contracts? What a bizarre attitude. She clearly isn't fit to be in the role, for whatever reason. Why should 30 kids' education suffer?

IamnotSethRogan · 01/12/2022 08:39

While I can understand it's frustrating, without knowing more it's hard to say how unreasonable it is. It could be that their child has recently been diagnosed with a serious illness where a bit of compassion wouldn't go amiss. It could also be that their child is in one of those nurseries that I'm always reading about on here that send a child home for sneezing, which would be out of the teachers control. Honestly everyone round here is sick at the moment, constant bugs which I'm sure will settle down.

OKild09 · 01/12/2022 08:39

MolliciousIntent · 01/12/2022 08:37

You have absolutely no idea what is happening in her personal life. Sometimes shit happens and work has to take a back seat. in some cases it then makes sense to drop your hours, and in some cases that would be catastrophic. Keep your nose out of her business. Your issue is with the school not providing an adequate education for your child, not with the teacher. If you're not happy with the set up, complain to the school or move your child. Don't put the responsibility on the teacher.

I agree with this.
The issue is with the school. Speak to the head.

Luredbyapomegranate · 01/12/2022 08:40

Raise it with the head - just the fact she’s off too much, not the whys

carefulcalculator · 01/12/2022 08:41

Oh yet more teacher bashing Biscuit

Teachers don't easily get time off, so potentially it is something serious.

carefulcalculator · 01/12/2022 08:43

RambamThankyouMam · 01/12/2022 08:39

So we should just let people do whatever they like and not meet the clauses of their work contracts? What a bizarre attitude. She clearly isn't fit to be in the role, for whatever reason. Why should 30 kids' education suffer?

Show quote history

You've made up a whole story about someone you don't know inside your (bitter) little head.

She clearly isn't fit to be in the role You simply do not know this.

workinmums · 01/12/2022 08:43

carefulcalculator · 01/12/2022 08:41

Oh yet more teacher bashing Biscuit

Teachers don't easily get time off, so potentially it is something serious.

I didn't get bashing from OP's post. I think its more concern than bashing.

Original poster
Pineconederby · 01/12/2022 08:45

Tried the head. They also referenced her having children and said that was why she was off. Clearly, if it’s for a sick child, I would be sympathetic on a personal level.

BUT - for my DC, and their classmates, how long are they expected to put up with a part time teacher, an inferior quality education? Shouldn’t the teacher, or the teacher and head, come up with a plan that is manageable and means the DC’s education doesn’t suffer?

OP posts:
carefulcalculator · 01/12/2022 08:46

workinmums · 01/12/2022 08:43

I didn't get bashing from OP's post. I think its more concern than bashing.

Show quote history

The OP is not considering whether the teacher might have a serious issue causing them to be off. The OP admits this is a new staff member - so they do not know them.

I have a colleague who is off currently. Their partner is dying. Sometimes these things happen.

The OP is not 'concerned' it is negative e.g. Is this the standard that’s deemed acceptable these days?

MolliciousIntent · 01/12/2022 08:46

RambamThankyouMam · 01/12/2022 08:39

So we should just let people do whatever they like and not meet the clauses of their work contracts? What a bizarre attitude. She clearly isn't fit to be in the role, for whatever reason. Why should 30 kids' education suffer?

Show quote history

Yes, sometimes there are extenuating circumstances that mean employees do allow their staff to take time off! It's a legal right, for most people! The teacher is entitled to take leave for various issues and the school are obliged to allow it. It is then their job to provide adequate cover. Their failure to do so is the issue, not the teacher.

AntlerRose · 01/12/2022 08:47

The head teacher will be aware this teacher is frequently absent and is following the Staff Absence Policy carefully. Teachers are entitled to the same employment rights as any other employee.

LucySno · 01/12/2022 08:47

You have an issue with the school leadership, not the teacher. Keep on at the head about it.

Original poster
Pineconederby · 01/12/2022 08:47

@carefulcalculator - not teacher bashing. Could be any industry really. If you have a staff member who is repeatedly off for two/three days a week, but meant to be full time, at what time do you call time on someone being paid full time money for a part time job, family circumstances or not?

OP posts:
MolliciousIntent · 01/12/2022 08:48

Pineconederby · 01/12/2022 08:45

Tried the head. They also referenced her having children and said that was why she was off. Clearly, if it’s for a sick child, I would be sympathetic on a personal level.

BUT - for my DC, and their classmates, how long are they expected to put up with a part time teacher, an inferior quality education? Shouldn’t the teacher, or the teacher and head, come up with a plan that is manageable and means the DC’s education doesn’t suffer?

Yes, they should. But the fact of the matter is they likely aren't able to. Surely you're aware of the crisis in teaching at the moment?

Your best bet is to move schools and never vote Tory.

PuttingDownRoots · 01/12/2022 08:50

A common thread on MN is parents frustrated by the constant minor ailments their children pick up at nursery when first starting leading to them needing time off work...

SnarkyBag · 01/12/2022 08:50

Who knows why she’s really off but to be honest I visit schools as part of my job and frankly they’re on their knees. It’s not a sustainable system or way of working so parents should brace themselves for more of what your experiencing IMO.

Education is going the same way the NHS and frankly rather than working excessively to paper over the cracks I think it’s time for teachers (and TA’s) to just stop going over and above and burning themselves out.

funtycucker · 01/12/2022 08:51

I love how in almost every other thread people complain that employers aren't family friendly and they are penalised if they have childcare issues so demand that companies be more flexible towards working mums, but as soon as a teacher is having the same issues it's tough shit and they are incapable of doing their job. Talk about double standards.

carefulcalculator · 01/12/2022 08:51

Pineconederby · 01/12/2022 08:47

@carefulcalculator - not teacher bashing. Could be any industry really. If you have a staff member who is repeatedly off for two/three days a week, but meant to be full time, at what time do you call time on someone being paid full time money for a part time job, family circumstances or not?

I am starting to think you don't have a job. The questions you ask here are ridiculous.

It is November. This issue started in September. That is only two months ago.

In every workplace I have been in, a valuable member of staff would not be dismissed because some mardy customers (parents in this case) wanted them to be.

This is an anti-teacher thread - you clearly want teachers to have fewer employment rights. That is the only way to get what you want, which is for this teacher to be dismissed after only two months of what could be a serious family situation.

Biscuit
MaggieFS · 01/12/2022 08:52

Pineconederby · 01/12/2022 08:45

Tried the head. They also referenced her having children and said that was why she was off. Clearly, if it’s for a sick child, I would be sympathetic on a personal level.

BUT - for my DC, and their classmates, how long are they expected to put up with a part time teacher, an inferior quality education? Shouldn’t the teacher, or the teacher and head, come up with a plan that is manageable and means the DC’s education doesn’t suffer?

I think it's a fair ask. Ignore the cause and reasons why which are non of your business, but ask the head that, given there will apparently be frequent absences, what is being done to manage them better and ensure the classes' education isn't compromised given it's already affecting attitudes.

If you don't get a decent answer, escalate to the governors.

It sounds shit all round but doesn't sound like it is being well managed.

Scarywaitingtime · 01/12/2022 08:52

I had a mega flakey form tutor in year 7. She had a breakdown one day in the classroom . Turns out her ex husband ( from an Arab country ) had kidnapped her two young kids and she was fighting to try and get them back. It was incredibly sad and we used to sit with her at lunch breaks and she’d read The hobbit to us and bring us home baked food . We almost became her substitute kids . It’s just made my cry a little thinking of her , she always looked thin and fragile and had dark rings round here eyes. I wonder if she ever saw them again or got them back .

figmaofmyimagination · 01/12/2022 08:53

The Headteacher needs to make a better plan. What that is, behind the scenes, isn’t your business, but ultimately they are responsible for your children’s education.

AngelicPickles · 01/12/2022 08:55

I got sick of demanding parents.

Parents up in arms when someone had to cover my class for two days when there was a chicken pox outbreak and I was in the first trimester.

Parents complaining when I covered the class of colleagues who had cancer, sepsis, one whose lungs were collapsing. Parents made aware of this and still complain.

I didn't go part time, we don't get paid enough to deal with this rubbish. I quit. Amazing, best decision I ever made. Never going back.

Three Rs and other teaching agencies beg me to do supply on a fairly regular basis. Perhaps op should train as a teacher and fill the void?