Should I tell my employer Occ Health I have an alcohol problem?

[Downnow]

I have an occupational health assessment at work today and I’m nervous about revealing personal details. I have been drinking at least a bottle of wine every night since my mum died of cancer in lockdown. I have depression and was off for 6 months last year for bereavement. I am on a performance improvement plan and I want things to change but not sure what help would work best for me and my employer/manager/colleagues. I am worried about OCcH sharing details and being judged at work. It is public sector so generally supportive and understanding for MH issues but I don’t want to be labelled.

YABU-Tell your employer the full truth, let them help you with your addiction

YANBU-Disclosing alcoholism will harm your career and working environment

Don't tell work.

Go to your GP and get referred for some alcohol support.

No I really wouldn’t. I haven’t yet come across an employer that is forgiving about alcohol issues. You need to find help elsewhere. (Alcoholic in recovery here).

I’m not an occ health expert but I would veer towards being honest with professionals who can actually help you with your best interests in mind - rather than people who are working for your employer and who have their best interests in mind.

Can you get yourself into therapy? Seriously the money you spend on it will be an investment in yourself and possibly cheaper than the wine.

When you address emotional pain at its root, the symptoms like addiction will fall away.

It might not be a very quick fix but even a few months of therapy could give you the tools you need to process your pain and start momentum in a much more favourable direction.

Wishing you all the best

Btw depression can be a symptom of unprocessed grief too eg if you’ve been suffering with that for a long time it might go back to unprocessed pain from childhood.

So learn to grieve well in therapy and you might find multiple symptoms start to clear up.

As a former bottle of wine per night drinker I would say no. You can tackle this. I used quit lit and joined a group on Facebook called The Sober Cafe for group support. I no longer drink at all. I thought I was doomed to drink to a premature death. I would also recommend bereavement counselling. I would discuss that with work.

Be honest about your mental health and grief, not about the drinking. Now you've admitted it here - a huge step - please see the GP or other professional help about the alcohol

I am very sorry you are struggling. It sounds like you’re in a very difficult period of your life. The future will get better, one day at a time.

I would be honest with OH. You could, if you wish, request that that particular aspect of the information to remain confidential. They can reference your bereavement, depression and struggles in your report, but not the alcoholism side.

You should also stress to OH that confidentiality is vitally important to you and request it is written in the report too. If needed, specify who you’d like to see the report.

I work on the other side (senior management / HR) and find OH reports helpful when there is more background and context to the problem. I like to help the individual so I love as much info as possible to work with them, and find the support to help. But I’m not naïve enough to think that everyone operates like I do and some professionals use OH reports to remove people from organisations.

Question is, how good is your organisation / manager / HR? And how much do you trust them?

Have you been to an AA meeting? They are very helpful to make the first step. You don’t need to say anything, just turn up.

I've heard of the same problem where the person wouldn't reveal, even when pressed, and was eventually sacked.

It's a hard decision but you are quite protected being in the Civil Service. I think I'd join the Union today, if you're not already a member, book an appointment to tell your GP that you need help and then tell Occupational Therapy that you have a problem but you've got an appointment booked to speak to your GP.

I'm just wondering how old you are too OP? You don't need to say but if there's a chance that you're on the Peri-menopausal I'd consider trying HRT. Maybe book a double appointment with your GP so that you can discuss both issues. I was drinking and eating lots of chocolate and HRT has made me cut back naturally.

Did you have any grief counselling when your DM died? It's not too late now to ask for it and it might be helpful to speak about how you feel about her dying.

Good luck today @Downnow. You can, if you want to, see this a chance to recover.

You can ask for any information you give an OH to be redacted from the report, you are meant to have sight of it before it is sent to your employer. Clarify this point with OH at the start of your meeting.

I would not want my employer to know that I had a drink problem.

Sorry OH not OT. I've been dealing with both recently for different things and different people and got the two mixed up

Do you have an Employee support service like PAM Assist?

They may be able to suggest Alcohol Support and dealing with your grief. I work with colleagues who have been helped through various problems by them.

Agree, if your employer has PAM Assist definitely use them.
It's confidential and they're very helpful imo.

My first question is- have you tried to stop and can't? Have you tried replacing alcohol with other ways of relaxing?
For me i would defo be honest about depression and the need for counselling. Perhaps alcohol issues could be raised within the counselling environment first? Difficult to judge without knowing the characters involved (how do you get on with line manager) and your profession.
If you do decide to disclose alcohol issues, I would possibly say, drinking too much in the evenings. Using the term alcoholism is wide ranging, and could imply cannot function without alcohol- if this is the case then say so, but if not, you don't want to give this impression.
Do seek help- I went through a phase of this, more a habit than an addiction, but it was a difficult habit to break initially. Exercise, eating dinner earlier and writing it down all helped me, but you must find what works best for you.

@jenny38 you’ve articulated what I was going to say. Potentially is this more of a dependence on alcohol to compensate the depression and grief.

alcoholism is wide ranging and individual to each person.

go easy on yourself. You’re going through tough times and potentially need a nudge to change the habits you’ve created that have been helping you (but aren’t helping you now)

no I wouldn't mention the wine. Mention the bereavement and that you are actively seeking counselling. They don't need to know anything else

How did you get on today @Downnow? I really hope that you're getting some help

Thanks for all your useful advice, it really helped me. I didn’t mention to OH about the drinking but was open on everything else. The report said I wasn’t fit for work.
I had a performance improvement review meeting since then and was given a formal warning which will stay on my file for 6 months and the review period is extended another two months.
I’m wondering if I can appeal the warning?
How would taking some sick leave affect the process?
I need some time and help. I’m exhausted.
Contacting the PAMS service is a good plan and I will do that as soon as I can.

Appeal the warning on what grounds and to achieve what? The warning doesn’t seem unusual considering that you have had six months off work and are on a PiP. I honestly would be focusing on your health not fighting with HR over warnings. It will drop off after six months, spend the six months focusing on other things.

What was the warning for @Downnow? Wax it for performance or sick leave?

Did you have a Union Rep with you?

The warning was for not performing well enough against the targets set in the first performance meeting. Nothing to do with the period of sick leave (doctors note cited bereavement). I think if I’d been referred to OH sooner it might have paused the performance management process.

Most alcohol support services are self referral. You can get the phone number from the receptionist or google. No need for a GP appointment.

And yes, you should tell Occupational Health.

Sorry just seen the update

I am absolutely no expert on this, but when someone I know was on a performance review with a view to being dismissed, there was a set pathway of yes/no tick boxes. One question was about alcohol or drug problems. If you ticked yes to this, the pathway changed -and it may be that the outcome (keeping your job) would be better. But I stress, I do not know.

Not about your drinking. Yes to the depression post loss of your mum.

Speak to GP. Get some help and support for the drinking.

Would people feel the same about not telling work about an alcohol issue if the OP was caring for a loved one in a home or hospital?

OP, whilst I'm sympathetic to your bereavement, please get help regarding the alcohol as the problem will continue to spiral.
You could be exceeding the limit of driving to work the next morning, even if not driving, it can act as impairment in relation to other things.

Good luck 💐