I’ve just bought Deliveroo alcohol

[Scarywaitingtime]

I’m in a wait for cancer diagnosis , high blood indicators plus physical scans showing something of a muddle in there , GP cites endometriosis as likely cause but has pushed MRI through on emergency . I have swollen abdomen , fatigue and pain as symptoms . I’m usually a very sensible responsible person , but for the first time In years I’ve sat drinking , smoking and gambling ( not lots like £20) and generally had a majorly hedonistic evening. dH thinks it’s a functional phase and has been accommodating and kind . I genuinely think I’m likely to be dying , I have the brac gene and I’m trying to work out how to leave my house to DP and leave someone in charge of DC special needs paperwork ( not DP he’s lovely but thick as fuck I’m trying to engage my sister) also I’m also trying to just process being unwell with looking after the kids and also making the most of enjoying the last months of my life . Oh this is weird …

Sorry for what you're going through, but you just made me laugh with this comment:

he’s lovely but thick as fuck 🤣🤣

I sincerely hope the diagnosis isn't what you feared but enjoy your evening and all of those things - xxx

I'm so sorry that you're going through this. I hope whatever the diagnosis, it's treatable with a great prognosis. You'll be in my thoughts xx

He really is . I love him but he has no idea, he thinks our son is just arrogant , he is genuinely thick as fuck as far as he’s concerned 🤦‍♀️😂I feel like dying now without reallocating this responsibility would lead to DS being that ‘weird kid ‘ in a garage somewhere as opposed to fulfilling his potential . It bothers me x

You're a legend. Keep on putting one foot in front of the other. Saying a secular prayer for you. 💓

Thank you . I’m obviously hoping for the best but it doesn’t look good does it . I feel a bit strange , like I should make the most of life . I don’t know what that is but I want to sit in The woods away from people , experience emotional and spiritual things , but I also want to not be a knob so I would not let my partner go to the the garage when I think he was over the limit no matter how crazy I felt .

Totally and utterly acceptable I’m sat here too but not as posh as Deliveroo Uber eats here cheers got a lot of emotional difficult stuff going on nothing like you but still life changing wishing you all the best and love your attitude to life keep it up

the Deliveroo chap arrived and Im continuing to party. I’m getting a sore throat from smoking but I’m enjoying it , I’m confused because I always thought that you coulDnt be a good parent and also be high, pretty sure I’m both right now . I can’t imagine not being there for my son , I also don’t wanna face tomorrow .

I really hope everything goes well for you, but please stop bloody smoking!

Nicely pissed now on the the Deliveroo beer . Sore throat smoking like a trooper loving roger waters new comfortably numb … that is a nice piece of art .

Lovely I sincerely hope it's not as bad as you think . ❤️

I think a one of drinking, smoking and gambling session is perfectly OK thing to do under the circumstances.

One way to leave the house to your partner is marriage / civil partnership.

You need legal advice.

See a solicitor about making a proper will to ensure that your assets actually go to your children. Anything could happen if your partner inherits - especially if he is as thick as you say...

Hope it turns out OK. You are allowed to freak out

@Scarywaitingtime well we're all likely to be dying aren't we?

It's not an unusual thing to happen.

I'm inspired by you and now listening to Floyd and smoking a fag!

Morning all thanks for your kind words . I’m currently experiencing my first proper hangover in about 10 years … dc hasn’t suspected a thing despite being given a wedge of carrot cake for breakfast but he’s gone off to school happy and presentable . There is currently a convoy of HGVs ploughing through my head and the monster from 20000 leagues breakdancing in my belly 😂I have clumsily thrown some mince and tomatoes and garlic in the big pan and left it to simmer . I shall eat my body weight in bolognaise and sleep the afternoon away in a carb coma, but his is my current plan anyway . I’m having a doing fuck all day today , MRI is likely going ahead late morning tomorrow so I shall just try and forget about it all now . Any recommendations for films / Netflix ? I like a good thriller or horror as a rule ??

Endometriosis isn't cancer though is it?
Nothing wrong with the odd mad binge night but best not make a habit of it. You may need all your good body parts to work for you.
Good luck.

Think you may be jumping the gun a little. All the best.

Endometriosis isn't cancer though is it?

Endometriosis can give elevated Ca125 results which is a marker for ovarian cancer. I think OP means the current investigations have not provided a conclusive diagnosis hence the emergency MRI.

I hope all works out for the best OP. Cancer is not necessarily a death sentence but I can understand why you would plan for the worst and hope for the best.

Hope the hangover isn't too rotten (I'm suffering the after effects of an rare week night bottle of wine so some solidarity on that front). You can cope with this however you need to, hedonism would be my coping mechanism of choice also. I really hope this isnt bad news, sending lots of positive thoughts your way as you must be going crazy.

Did you get the results of the MRI scan, OP? Did it show anything sinister or was it simply endo after all?

I'm not saying endo is simple btw, but it's more treatable than an aggressive ovarian cancer.

Not yet they moved everything around . I’m seeing the gynae oncology people next week. The pain is worse and I’m incredibly tired atm. Trying to keep it a secret from everyone except DH and it’s difficult because I’m feeling super rough this week and there’s lots expected of me , trying to wriggle out of things and manage others . I’m taking four different painkillers and I’ve still had to give up and come to bed this afternoon . It’s a bit crap tbh x